Sunday...or Do I have to go back to work tomorrow?

I wish I didn't have to go back to work tomorrow. I really would like another day of staying at home and doing nothing. Today was a typical Sunday for me and my family. I went to mum's and had lunch with her, my uncle and Grandmother. Stopped off to see my brother and sil on my way home and then vegetated with a book once I arrived home. I've just finished some mac and cheese that I have been craving for about two weeks. I'm sure it will upset my stomach, but sometimes you just have to have a taste of something that you miss.

Anywho, I've been kind of down lately about a lot of things. Other than my usual sadness about my lack of family, is the status of my Grandmother. I lost my paternal Grandmother (whom I thought the world revolved around) when I was 13. She was my world. She was my moon and stars and sun in the heavens. She was the one person that I new loved me unconditionally. I was very insecure growing up and she always gave me the support and love I needed. (Okay, who am I trying to kid, I'm still insecure). Anyway, she died very suddenly and unexpectedly and it tore that side of the family to pieces.

My maternal Grandmother has always been the strongest person I know. She was a teacher and principal as a career. She always valued education and was always staying on me to study harder and be more like my mother. She liked to tell stories about how when my mum was a kid she would have to force her to quit studying and go to bed late at night. Anyway, my Grandmother loved reading and doing the crossword puzzles and playing cards. We lost my Grandfather when I was 17 and while it was very hard for her, she managed to hold us all together after he passed. She lived four hours from us and it was hard to go and see her.

Anyway, I'm making this too long. My Grandmother is declining in health. Four years ago she fell and broke her hip and she has been getting worse since then. She has never been able to hear very well and it is now almost impossible for her to hear. Her legs are giving out and she has macular degerneration. The only thing she can do is sit and watch tv. She can't see to read (even the large print) and she can't do the crosswords anymore. She used to sew and knit and crochet but she can't hold the needles anymore. Her mind has always been sharp as a tack and now it isn't. She is forgetting everything. She can't even remember our names much more. It is just killing me watching her fall apart like this. Why do we have to get old?

Blessings,
~*~

mmmmm .... margarita....

So tonight was supposed to be mexican food night at my house. I have been wanting to have margarita night for a while and decided to make fajitas with my margaritas. I made margaritas with a mix I have had for a long time and tequila that I bought when I was in Cancun. I think the mix was just really old because it tasted really funny. Either that or the tequila is REALLY potent. So, I trashed that bit and made strawberry daquries. I love mixed drinks. However, I don't drink very often. And because I don't drink often, it takes very little for me to get drunk or even tipsy. Well, I've drunk about half the batch and I'm well past tipsy! :-)

I did make my fajitas and they were fabulous! I sauteed onion and a green bell pepper (fresh from my garden) with mushrooms and a sliced jalapeno (also from my garden) in butter. I added some steak that I'd marinated for several hours in a fajita seasoning mixed in beer. I also added some sliced cherry tomatoes near the end. When that was done I put the mix in a heated tortilla and layered shredded monterey jack, cheddar, and mozzerella cheeses, sour cream and salsa. It was so delicious! But it was very, very hot! It must have been the jalapeno cooking with the steak. I was only able to eat one fajita because it was so hot. But that just means I'll have more for later!
I'm getting sleepy... a side effect of the alcohol and I think I'll head to bed now. I'm reading a book that I'm enjoying and I would like to get back to it. OOhh.. I just saw where Blade II is getting ready to come on. Maybe I should stay up and watch it...well, until I pass out! :-)

Blessings,
~*~

Happy 4th of July!

Happy 4th to anyone and everyone out there that sees this post. I hope everyone has a safe day. I spent most of it relaxing and watching tv. I just got back from my mum's for a cookout. We had steak, baked potato, salad and bread. It was yummy! Now I'm watching NCIS season one on DVD and then I'm going to watch House in little bit.

I'm going to go now and finish relaxing. I wish I didn't have to go back to work tomorrow. Bleh...

Blessings,
~*~

Long weekend...

It feels like I had a long weekend, but I didn't. I went shopping with SIL on Friday afternoon and didn't spend nearly as much money as I thought I would. Yay for me and self control. I did get a neat cookbook that I can't wait to use called "The Well-Filled Tortilla". :-)
Saturday I went shopping with mum and lunch with Grandmother. After lunch I wasn't feeling well so I took at nap at her house. Sunday was the same and also another nap. I mostly stayed indoors on Sunday afternoon because of the heat. I hope to do the same today but mum has plans to come over after work and help in the yard some more. I think it is too hot to be out there, but there is no stopping her.
When I got home yesterday I was flipping channels and saw on BBC America a show called "Hex". It is pretty interesting. I don't quite get all the nuances and stuff yet, but I really liked it and ended up watching a few of them (they were having some sort of marathon). I was shocked when they actually showed someone "flipping the bird" at another person. Then I remembered this is a British TV show and they take things farther than the puritanical americans do. :-)
So, I'm back at work today and hoping for a slow day because it is just too hot to go anywhere. I forgot to bring my lunch but have decided to just find something in the machine.
Anywho, I'm gonna run now and find something to do.
Blessings,
~*~

Fun on a Friday...

It's Friday again. It is amazing how long it seems to take to get here and then when it is here it feels like it was just Friday yesterday. :-)

I mowed last night and weeded the veggie bed again. I've almost got it cleaned out. All the rain we've been having makes the weeds grow so much faster. I still haven't made it to the herb bed, but I looked at it today and it is in very bad shape. I'll have to get out there soon. Maybe tonight. I'm waiting on SIL to call. We are going to meet for a shopping expedition when she gets off work. We get together every once in a while to check out our favorite stores (like Bath and Body) and also check out places we haven't been before. Today we are going to World Market and possibly Bed, Bath and Beyond.

I'm very proud of myself today. 'T' called me about an hour after I had left work and wanted me to meet him for lunch. I turned him down. I don't think he really was interested in food and I just don't want that any more. After the last time I really thought about how he treats me and how I feel about it and I just don't need to feel that way about myself. So...I'll take it one step at a time but hopefully we've both learned whatever Karmic lesson we needed to learn from each other and can let go and move on. I know I'm trying to do just that.

I need to do some cleaning tonight. I paid the bills earlier this afternoon and was pleasantly surprised at how well it went. I even have a little left! (Unbelievable!) Anywho, I need to go through today's mail and make sure I haven't recieved any surprises. I may write more later this evening. {Especially if I make discover some good finds on our shopping trip!}

Blessings,
~*~

Roll me down the hill...

I am so full I need someone to just roll me around as opposed to my walking anywhere. Some of my coworkers and I went to our favorite Mexican place for lunch and I really ate a lot of food. I had the lunch fajitas and it was the best fajitas I've ever had. I usually get the chimichanga (sp?) but today I felt like having something different and it was fabulous!

To the right is a picture of the first zucchini I've ever grown and harvested! I put it beside a quarter so that I'd have something to reference the size to. I was very happy when I went to the garden and found that last night! :-)

Tonight is bridge night with the family. My grandmother doesn't have anyone to play with at her retirement center so my mum, brother and I are going to play with her. I hope this doesn't become a weekly thing because I really don't like bridge. Plus I'm not good at it. Anyway, just wanted to post a little today. Work has been slow but frustrating. It is amazing how quickly and how wasteful people can be with someone else's money.

Blessings,
~*~

I forgot to mention...

...that the rain finally stopped tonight. The sun even came out for a while. I think the clouds are gathering again, but they don't look like rain clouds.

I went out and checked the garden during one of the breaks in rain and picked a nice looking zucchini. I'll post a pic tomorrow. My jalapenos are getting bigger but aren't quite ready to be picked. Everything seems to be growing really well. I just need the tomatoes to start ripening. :-)
Later...Blessings,
~*~

Blinkies and credit companies

Waaaaa.... I can't figure out how to make the blinkies work without direct linking (which is a no-no, I know)... waaaaaaaa.

Okay, how was that for a temper tantrum? :-)

I hate credit companies. I have this account that I set up a year ago to help in paying for my eye surgery. I have made the required (actually more than) monthly payments every month until this one. This one is late because I was doing balance transfers to pay off the account. Well, long story short things got messed up and most of it is due to false information from the original credit company (like wrong acct numbers and stuff). So now they are calling me threatening me with legal action for being...wait for it.... 23 days late. 23!!! I've heard of legal action after 60 or 120? But 23? Argh, my blood is boiling after talking to them. They of course called me and I ended up talking to two different people, neither of whom paid any attention to what I was saying.

So, now I'm pissed. I want to get this account paid and closed and I may even pay off the other account I have with them (that I have had for at least 5 years with no problems) and close it out. I am so pissed off!

Now I'm off to do some research on this blinkie thing... and also watch NCIS and House.
Blessings,
~*~

Rain rain go away...

I'm really getting tired of all the rain. We have had rain non stop since Friday. I know that isn't a long time to some people, but I'm really tired of it. I like the fact that I don't have to water the garden, but it also keeps me from being out in the yard, weeding and playing. My poor herb bed is suffocating under all the weeds and the rain just makes them grow that much faster. I hope it clears up enough that I can mow tonight and maybe weed a little bit.
I'm watching Andre Agassi play in his last Wimbledon. Hopefully today won't be his last match! He didn't start out too well, but is making a come back. He's been one of my favorite players since he started playing professionally. I guess I could relate to him because of being so close in age.

(In the headphones: System - Chester Bennington of Linkin Park {Queen of the Damned Soundtrack})

My sunburn must be healing because my back and shoulders are itching like crazy! I can't keep from scratching! My co-workers must think I'm nuts because of all the writhing I'm doing in my chair. I keep rubbing my back against the chairback hoping it will give some relief. Alas, no relief in sight...

(In the headphones: Too Bad - Nickelback)

I'm getting really frustrated at work. I don't know how much more I can take. It's gotten to the point that when I hear something that is going to irritate me I immediately put on my headphones and turn up the volume so that I don't hear what they are saying. I know I'm missing out on a lot, but it is either that or go off. It amazes me how the older I get the shorter my temper seems to be. It upsets me to see myself be so controlled by my feelings and other peoples actions but I don't know how to make it stop.

(In the headphones: My Goodbyes - Saliva)

Well, I should probably get off of here and get some work done. I do have a project I need to work on, but don't have the assistance that I would like. Guess I'll have a go at it and see if I can get it to work.

Oh...did I mention I've become addicted to Blinkies? I found some last night while surfing that I just love. I'll put them up soon...

Blessings
~*~

Welcome to my garden...

(In the headphones: Collide - Howie Day)

Here are a few pictures from my garden. They may be kind of grainy because I'm using a palm handheld to take the pictures as I don't have a digital camera (yet!). :-)
The picture above is one of my tomato plants.




This is my jalapeno plant.



(in the headphones: Goodbye to You - Michelle Branch)








This is one of my habanero plants.




(In the headphones: I Stand Alone - Godsmack)

I have more pictures that I might post later. Can you tell I'm bored again? At least if I was at home I could get some stuff done around the house. I have to find a break between the rain and get to weeding my herb bed. It is full of weeds and I don't want them to smother my beautiful herbs. I've already lost my mandrake, I don't want to loose anymore.
(In the headphones: Colorblind - Counting Crows)

My back goes from itching to burning every so often and it is driving me crazy. I can't believe I forgot to put on sunscreen. Now that the new moon has come I can begin putting together more wreaths. I didn't get anywhere with them before that last full moon. I just couldn't seem to get to them. I will this time though. They have decided on a date for that book discussion so soon I will be finished with that one and can take it off my list! Yay!
(In the headphones: Fade - Staind)

At the lake this weekend was a family member I wasn't expecting to see. Someone I had hoped to never see again. It was very hard to sit there and be nice when all I wanted to do was punch him in the face. I tried to stay as far away from him as possible. At least he didn't try to hug me like everyone else. I swear if he'd tried I'd have lost it. My SIL said she didn't feel comfortable around him and was also unhappy to see he was there. She and I basically hung out together the whole time. I don't think we went far from each other. My brother was playing with our young cousins and riding a ski-do.
(In the headphones: The Chemicals Between Us - Bush)

They are calling for more rain here tonight. I hope for a break so I can get in the herb bed. I need to mow but I don't think that will happen tonight. I always feel like I don't have enough time in the evenings to get anything done. When it gets dark, I'm ready to sleep. (Don't know why that is...) By the time I get home, get the mail, feed the kids, change clothes and give the dog his shot it is almost 7. Maybe I don't use my time wisely. I'll have to look into that.

(In the headphones: Comedown - Bush)
I guess I should go now. I should try to get some work done. I only have two more hours to sit here...blech. Maybe it will go faster than the rest of the day has.
(In the headphones: Golddigger - Kanye West)

Blessings
~*~

Hot Hot Hot...

It has been so hot here lately. I don't like Hot. I spent Friday afternoon working in the yard and my back is now as red as a stoplight. Boy does it hurt! I never even thought about needing to put on sunscreen, but when I went in the house after a storm came up I started to feel the burn. I got a lot done and my front yard looks so much better. Saturday I spent the day with family at the lake and went fishing and stuff. The only think I caught was a little brim, but it was still fun. I hope to go again soon. Sunday I spent at my mom's cooking and playing waitress because my mom was getting her patio bricked and I was in charge of food and beverages. Which was much better than being out in the heat. :-)

I spent the solstice at the local arboretum with some friends. There was a solstice celebration there with fairies, drumming, butterfly release and performance art. It was pretty nice. The park is a few blocks from my house so I walked up there and met my friends that I hadn't seen in a while. It was so good to see them and spend time with them. I hope we will get together again soon.

Tonight I hope to finish in the front yard and also get my patio furniture set up. That was the one thing I had wanted to get done on Friday that didn't get done. I also hope to pick some jalapenos tonight. :-) Yum Yum...

Well, I have a lot going on at work so I better get back to it. I might write more later...
Blessings
~*~

Blessed Litha

Happy and Blessed Solstice to everyone! I hope it is a beautiful day for you all.

Blessings
~*~

Bored...bored...bored...

I'm so bored! It has been a very quiet and slow day. I've been at my desk all day (since about 7:10) and haven't had to go anywhere or do much of anything. If I was in an office by myself I would have pulled out some knitting or a book. But I share a room with eight other people so I can't really sit and knit. :-(
So, mostly I put my headphones on and listen to music or put in a movie and watch it. But...I'm still so bored! I keep thinking about all the stuff I could do if I was at home. And especially today I would want to be busy all day. I was hoping the day would fly by so I could get to my appointment. But it is not to be. Another hour and 15 minutes before I can leave for the Dr. and find out what my test results were...

Currently in my headphones is the Marilyn Manson version of Sweet Dreams. I must say I really like that version. I loved the Eurythmics song, but I think Marilyn's version rocks.

Oh, I'm thinking about getting another tattoo. I have been wanting one for the longest time. Since shortly after I acquired my first one. What I would like to have is a triquetra on the inside of my wrist. However, if I did that, I'd have to cover it with makeup until my Grandmother passed away. She would have an absolute fit and make life a living hell. Plus, I really just don't want to upset her...and believe me, she'd be upset. I don't want to have tons of tattoos on my body, I like tattoos and I think that one should have as many as a person likes, however I just don't want a ton. I would like to have one more...so I guess I'll wait.

(Now playing on headphones: Sympathy - Goo Goo Dolls)

I still haven't finished the book I was to read for our group at work. I'm working on it though. I hope to finish it tonight or tomorrow. No one has said anything about when we are having our discussion so I guess I'll just keep reading until then.

(Now playing on headphones: Sweet Surrender - Sarah McLachlan)

Okay, so I don't know why I feel the need to keep putting in there what is playing on my headphones. I guess to give some examples of the music I like. (I have a very eclectic ear.) Maybe if I just keep typing random stuff, the time will go faster. It is already just an hour before I leave.
(Now playing on headphones: Excess - Tricky {Thirteen Ghosts Soundtrack})

I have two books from the library that I want to read before I return them but they are due next week. I've actually renewed them twice and I don't think I can renew them a third time. I wanted to read them but felt pressed to finish that other book (which I still haven't finished). Maybe they will let me renew one more time. I hope so. Then I picked up a Nora Roberts the other day (it is a combo of two of her old silhouette books) that I want to read and I want to read Da Vinci Code. Geez, with all that reading how will I find time for knitting? :-) I need to, I haven't done any knitting in a while.

(Now playing on headphones: Hey Baby - No Doubt)

(Now playing on headphones: Criminal - Fiona Apple)

And on that note, I shall leave the world of blogging...at least for a little while.

Blessings,
~*~

Whew...

Wow, I'm tired. Last night after work I mowed the yard and then weeded my veggie garden until dark. My back was so stiff from bending over so much. But it looks much better. I came in after 9, took a shower and went to bed. I tried to watch a little of the hockey game, but I was too beat to try to follow what was going on. I know absolutely nothing about hockey.

I'm very happy with the progress of my plants. I hope to take pictures tonight. If I do, I'll try to post some later. I've been rescuing plants from my mum's house and trying to save them. She is really bad about killing houseplants. I've brought one to work with me to get the opinion of a co-worker who is a wonder with plants. She thinks it may be too far gone, but I'm going to try to give it a little love and see what happens. My house is turning into a nursery with all the plants I have.

Today is D-day. I'm very apprehensive about it. D-day for me is doctor day. I have my six month checkup this afternoon and am waiting to get the all clear. I had the CT over a month ago but don't get the results until today. So, I've been quite anxious all this time. I hate having to go every six months. By the time I get over the anxiety of one visit, it is time for the next. At least I only have to do this for another 3 and 1/2 years.

Well, I better get to work. If it isn't busy I'll probably work on my binding I want to do tonight, because of course, I was very tired.
Blessings,
~*~

Busy little bee...

I've been busy this weekend. Did I get my yard mowed? No... but that is okay! I spent Saturday driving around town looking for patio furniture and getting very disappointed. And Sunday I went to the local Garden Ridge and lo and behold what did I find? A patio furniture set that I liked and could actually afford! They also had a chase lounge chair (did I spell that right) that kind of matched and a little table to put beside the lounge chair. I got those pieces, 4 chairs and a table for less than $350. I was so very happy! Now I have to find cushions and an umbrella. I looked several places yesterday but didn't see anything I liked. Hopefully I'll find something soon. Yay! Tonight I must mow so that my yard will be pretty! Oh and the veggies are progressing nicely even if the garden needs desperately to be weeded. I have jalepeno peppers, bell peppers, tomatos, squash and zucchini growing up. I have blooms on my habenero plants so hopefully soon I'll have those too! I can't wait to be able to harvest.

According to my Seasons of the Witch day planner, tomorrow is the ONLY day this year with MAXIMUM spell power for bindings. So... I'm planning a binding spell for tomorrow. I need to get my plan together and check that I have everything I need which I hope I do because the local witch supply shop is closed on Mondays.

Well, I guess I better get back to work. The boss lady is sitting across from me and keeps looking at me funny. Course, she always looks at me funny. I don't think she likes me. But...who cares! :-)

Blessings,
~*~

I'm an idiot...

So last weeks message was, yay for friday...this week...I'm an idiot. I truly am. I just spent the past 10 minutes or so doing something I said I would not do again and being miserable while I was doing it. Which by the way, one should never feel 'miserable' while doing. If you've read the blog before you can probably guess what I just did. No, it wasn't playing poker...it was "time" with 'T'. I really shouldn't have...and really wish I hadn't. It wasn't even any fun. Actually it felt more like a chore, like mowing the yard or sweeping the floor than fun. Maybe if I can just remember how it felt this time then next time I'm asked I'll say NO. I must learn to say NO to him. He is so bad for me and it isn't like he loves me or anything. Sometimes I don't think he even likes me. So why...why do I continue to be with a man that doesn't love me and has no intentions of ever taking what you could never call a relationship anywhere? Because, dear people... I ... am ... an ... idiot.

Blessings
~*~

Vertigo

Isn't that the name of a U2 song? Well, I have it...no, not the song, the illness. Last night after playing poker, I stood up, the world tilted and I fell on my a**. I have been dizzy and nauseous since. No appetite, and just burning up. My face is flushed, my eyes look like I'm on something and my brain is very fuzzy. I feel confused, but I don't know what I'm confused about! I finally went to the doc this afternoon at the insistance of my mum and they say I have Vertigo. In the middle of the exam, I went into a full blown panic attack. I haven't had one of those in close to 5 years. I think it was more scary to me than the dizziness and stuff. So, I'm taking dramimine and "resting". This sucks.
I need to mow the yard, weed the herb bed and the vegetable garden and I HAVE to make my wreaths! I'm going to rest for a little while and then pull out my supplies and get to work. I saw that HBO has "Skeleton Key" on tonight. I think I'll have to watch that. :-)
Well, I'm off to try to 'rest'. Maybe more later after I get some work done on my wreaths.
Blessings
~*~

TGIF...

Thank the Gods it is finally Friday! I'm so glad that I won't have to be in this place for a few days. I'm really beginning to hate it. There are days when it feels like a Gestapo. It's been such a hectic week and next week I expect it to get worse. But at least I have my home and garden and my knitting to keep me sane. :-)
Well, that is if I can stay off of Titan Poker long enough to do some of the other things. :-) Last night I went home and ended up spending about 3 and a half hours playing poker online. I couldn't believe that I wasted so much time. There are so many things I need to do and want to do and that wasn't one of them. But if you get started it is addictive and hard to quit. Tonight, I refuse to log on to their site! I have wreaths to make before Sunday's full moon and I MUST get them done. I also have weeding to do and I hope to reinstall the OS on my pc this weekend.
And of course, there is the requisite Grandmother duty. I'll probably spend most of tomorrow and Sunday with her during the days. But the nights are mine!
My garden is really coming along. I went out there yesterday morning and checked it out and I have tons of blooms on my squash, zucchini and tomato plants. I also have blooms on my jalepeno plant. Yay!
Anyway, less than two hours to go before I'm free! I have to go to my favorite shop for supplies for the wreaths before I head home. I may try to leave a little early today since I didn't take a lunch. :-)
Maybe I'll post more later if I have anything interesting to say.
Blessings
~*~

Title?...don't have one...

Last night was rearranging night. I've spent several hours rearranging two rooms in my house and trying to get some stuff put away and organized. It looks so much better now. I love the way my living room turned out. It really opens it up more and makes it feel and look bigger than it is. I also rearranged my office/guest room/craft room. There is room to move around now. Yay!
Tonight is piddle around the house night and then I'm playing in an online poker tournament later. My family has gotten me hooked on Titan Poker. I can't believe I'm playing this stuff. Anyway, I'm hoping to get started on my wreaths tomorrow night. I pretty much have a plan for what to do and now just need to execute. I'm also wanting to reload my pc. I need to wipe it out and reinstall EVERYTHING! So, I'd best get busy on some things that need to be done, opening email and snail mail before that game.
So...adios for the evening...
Blessings,
~*~

Thunder and Lightning

I love thunderstorms. Have I mentioned that before? I really love them. We have had quite a few boomers the past few days. In fact, we had a rain so hard today that at one point people were stopped on the interstate because of the lack of visibility.


I hung my pretty new flag last night. And since it was raining I didn't have to work in the yard. I should be out there now during the lull in the storm, but I need to pay bills. Payday was this past Wednesday and I still haven't paid my bills. Gotta get on that before I get in trouble. :-)

I had my hair trimmed today and met with a new hairstylest. We are going to highlight my hair instead of completely coloring it and then two weeks later I'm getting a spiral perm. I can't wait! It has been almost two years since I was able to get a good treatment from a stylest. The last time I had it trimmed was at Great Clips and she butchered my hair. It was crooked and all kinds of messed up. I will never go back there again. 3 strikes and OUT! :-)

Anyway, tomorrow is strawberry day and then dinner for my mum's birthday. I'd like to get some of my houseplants repotted. That may have to wait until Sunday though.

I'm off to pay the bills...
Blessings
~*~

Random ramblings...

I hadn't posted in a while so I thought I would do a quick one while on a break at work. I spent last night mowing my yard and weeding in my vegetable garden. I have blooms on my squash, jalapeno and all three of my tomato plants. I have buds on my zuccini and habanero pepper plants. I still have a lot more to weed in the garden but I worked until dark. Maybe tonight when I get home I can work on it some more. We are supposed to have storms tonight, which I would absolutely love! I was able to spend some time with my 5 year old cousin over the weekend. It was so much fun. She is so full of energy and is so sweet. We had a blast! I also purchased some new yarn at Michaels. They had Modea Aerie yarn on sale for 2-something when it is normally 10-something. I got three skeens in a pretty orangeish color.


I need to get back to my knitting but there always seems to be something else that needs to be done. I also need to make more spirit wreaths. I have 9 days to get them made so the can be charged on the full moon. I haven't decided which theme to go with on them, but I'd best make a decision soon. :-) I'll probably do protection and maybe a unity theme. Prosperity is always a good one. Anywho, I'll decide in the next day or so and update my project list on site.

This morning I woke with a splitting migraine. Ugh...
Blessings,

~*~

Another year older...

I'm another year older...woo hoo. (Um, that was a sarcastic woo hoo.) Yesterday (my birthday) was okay, but it was nothing great. Mom cooked me dinner with several of my favorite foods and a Cold Stone Creamery cake. "T" surprised me by buying me lunch and giving me a cute card. I was very surprised. Tonight I should be mowing, but I'm still fighting the migraine from yesterday so I'm going to wait and do it tomorrow night. I've been doing some things around the house, including dishes and laundry. According to my Seasons of the Witch calendar, tonight is a good time to work in the BOS. So, I'm going to go do that in a few minutes. I've been working on my information about herbs and need to add a few more bits and pieces to the file.

Anywho...I'm off to continue picking up around the house and doing laundry...then I'm hitting my BOS.

Blessings,
~*~

Happy Birthday...

...to me.... Yes, it is my birthday today. I turn thirty - seven years old. Ugh...
And the day starts with a raging migraine. How wonderful...

Blessings
~*~

Love those comments...

Wow, I feel important. I looked through my site and had sp*m comments. Woohoo... :-)
Just kidding. There wasn't much so it wasn't a big hassle.

I just finished watching the season finale of 24. It was pretty good. I'm looking forward to next season. Of course, I'll have to wait until January, but that is the way it goes. Why am I sitting here watching CSI:Miami? I really do not like David Carruso and even more dislike his character on that show. And yet...I'm too tired to get up and go to bed. So here I sit. The trailer for the movie The Lake House looks interesting. I'm not sure if I like or dislike the premise behind it. I guess if they are communicating through time is it like they are on different astral planes? Hhhmmm...

Speaking of astral planes... I never posted about the channeling event I went to. Well, it was interesting. People that she spoke to really seemed to get 'hits' from her readings. And then she spoke to me... I was very scared because -
a: I don't like crowds
b: I don't like being the center of attention in crowds, and
c: I wasn't sure what to expect.
I had gone for curiosity's sake and wasn't there to "communicate" with the anyone. I also wanted to see how she worked and how people responded.
When she talked to me she said she didn't really get a specific person, more of a collection of souls around me. She asked to hold a piece of my jewelry that no one else had owned. I gave her a necklace I bought a few years ago that I never take off. It is a moonstone with silver and marcasite stars on it. Anyway, she held it for a few minutes and said, "You're here out of curiosity. Where you wanting to speak with anyone?" I said no. Then she asked if I was nervous. I answered yes. She was silent for a few minutes and then asked how long I've been speaking to the dead. I was shocked. Then she looked up at me and said "You're authentic."

I was really shocked. I couldn't believe what she had just said. I have never told anyone about that aspect of my life. Mostly because I didn't really believe it. I've used it at times to try to help people. Once I worked with a police detective who had a very open mind, to help with a murder investigation that was stuck. The victim was a former college professor of mine. I worked my mojo and gave the info to the detective. I was surprised when a few months later I saw in the paper that they had caught the killers and when I read the details, I was even more surprised. It was just as I'd seen it. I've seen other things over the years, and not just about death. I've worked with Tarot for years and have given readings many times. Always with a bag of salt (not literally). What really had an impact on me from the Channeling session was the authentic part. That has always been my biggest fear and my worst handicap with my abilities. I have always been afraid that I was "wrong." I worry that people will think I'm a fraud. I can't begin to explain how hearing her say that I was authentic made me feel in that room full of people. (And it was full!)
Anyway, Saturday's event was very freeing for me. I plan to embrace my gift more now and work with it as much as possible. Hopefully it will help me and others.

Well, I think I must be off to bed. Tomorrow will be a very long day and I'll need my sleep.
Blessings

~*~

Sleep...I need sleep...

I'm so tired...the beast has been keeping me up late at nights for some reason. I don't know what is going on but he is constantly barking and waking me up. I swear he's going to give me a stroke one day.

I went to dinner last night with my family and it was not a good thing. I hate having family dinner's with my dad. He makes me ill. He has no respect for me. He treats me like a child and it drives me nuts.

Anyway, my garden seems to be doing well. My squash plants are really coming along. I was able to plant the marigolds around my tomatoes to keep the cutworms away. I'm trying to find a spot with more sun. My yard is much shadier than I thought it would be and it is hard to find the right spot for some plants. I'm thinking of turning one of my flower beds in the front into an herb bed. I'm not sure though.

Tomorrow night I'm going to a channeling event at a local shop that I frequent. I'm not even sure why I'm going but I thought I'd give it a try. It's better than sitting at home on a saturday night doing nothing. Oh, speaking of the shop I love, I went in the other day and found out that three of my wreaths have sold. YAY! I'm so excited! I guess that means I need to get busy making more! :-)

Well, I think I hear cold stone ice cream calling my name. I have some in the freezer that I think would hit the spot right now. Maybe that and a Gilmore Girls marathon would be just what I need. (And planning/designing new wreaths!)

Blessings,
~*~

How psychic are you?

I borrowed this from Draven.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. I hope you realize how lucky you are to have the opportunity to make such an impact on life and society.

I've had a decent time this past week. I went to the farmer's market yesterday morning and picked up some locally grown strawberries (they are delicious!) and also bought some breads and spinach and fresh shrimp. I cooked the shrimp last night and froze them as I wasn't sure yet what I wanted to make with them. (I'm thinking Jambalaya). This morning I got up early and am listening to a woodpecker hack away at the house across the street. I can hear it hitting the vinyl siding (which I don't have on my house so I know it is the one across the street). I'm sure he or she will work their way over here soom and work on my wood house. :-(

I'm heading out shortly to spend today with my mom and grandmother. Mom has been out of town for a week and so I haven't talked to her a much as usual.

Oh, it turns out I can't get an appointment with my doc until the end of June. So I'll have to sit and wait and wonder how the tests that I took last week came out.

Well, I better head out and get ready to go.
Blessings,

~*~

I made it through...

The radiologist called me back and I had to go down and bring a "large bottle of a drink that I like". The mixed a bunch of the lemonade I brought with a little bit of gastrograph and then had to sit in the waiting area for an hour and a half and drink just plain lemonade to get it to mix. Then I took the scan and came home. I don't know what I'm going to do if they want me to take another one.

I guess tomorrow I'll call the doctor's office and schedule my appointment. The radiologist said the dr office should have the results by Friday.

I feel so icky right now and have been having sharp pains in my abdomen. I'm sure it is from the test and the dye they inject.

Maybe tomorrow will be better...
Blessings

~*~

Drink me

What the HELL is wrong with me? I was supposed to drink 2 of the below shown small bottles of barium for my CT test this afternoon. I drank about half of the first bottle and began to vomit. So now I sit waiting for the radiologist to call me back after she tries to reach my doc to find out what they want me to do. I'm just going to quit trying to have tests. I'll just let it go unchecked until it kills me. If it is the same thing as before and it grows as slowly as the doc said then I should have several years left. I just give up...

I love movies...

Have I mentioned that before? I love how easily I fall into the story and basically succumb to the movie until the end. I get lost in them. I do that with books as well. Sometimes I wish I could stay in the stories forever.

I did something today I shouldn't have done. I told myself I wasn't going to do it again...but I did. I spent time with T today. I know I shouldn't have and even as I was driving to meet him I told myself over and over that I didn't want to anything. And...I did it anyway. Stupid...stupid me.

Anyway, I picked up the testing medium for my test tomorrow. They have changed it. It used to be a kool-aid kinda stuff but now it is two medium bottles of white looking stuff. I'm going to have to figure out a way to drink it all. Won't that be fun! :-)

Well, I'm going to get some work done before NCIS and House come on tonight. Two of my favorite shows and I can't wait to see them. I'm watching the movie Sliver right now. I haven't seen it in a really long time and had forgotten what it was like. Not bad...

Perhaps I'll write more later.
Blessings

~*~

Worry...me?... Never...

I haven't posted in quite a while. Mainly I haven't had much to say. I've been sick and have been trying to figure out what is wrong with me. Based on my symptoms, I'm beginning to worry. I should find out something in a few weeks, but until then I just do what I do best...worry. You know how sometimes you just have a 'sixth sense' about things? How you just KNOW? I feel that way. I'm worrying that it has come back. Somewhere inside me I know it is back. I don't know what I'll do if it is. Most people would think I had it easy the first time. Maybe I did...but it doesn't mean I didn't loose a lot. I lost more than I can bear sometimes. I think when it was happening, I was in denial or something. I didn't really react at all. It was like nothing was wrong at all. Sometimes it hits me, when I see a new baby or hear a cry. Especially when I see a pregnant woman. Then it really hits hard...
Sometimes I almost wish it had been worse...that I had gone with it when they took it. When they took it, I knew it would come back. I knew it wasn't the end.

Well, the test is Wednesday...then a few weeks from that I'll get the results. I guess I just wait and see.

It's been a while...

It has been quite a while since I posted. Not because I haven't wanted to, but because I just haven't had the energy. I've been sick again. I was out of work for two days this week with migraines. I really need to find a way around that.
I've done alot of work in my yard lately. I was able to get my fence put in around the garden (to prevent the beastie from peeing on the plants) and was also able to get my veggies planted. I put in a couple of squash, a zucchini, couple of tomatoes (one cherry, one regular), a jalepeno, couple habaneros, and a couple green bell peppers. I think I have room for some garlic and I picked up one more tomato plant at the farmer's market today. In addition I picked up some herbs to add to my bed: rue, cilantro and pennyroyal. These will be added to the herbs that I have already put in: rosemary, lavender and english mint. At an herb and plant sale a few weeks ago I was able to find mandrake, a very difficult herb to find in my area. I had to do some research on the net to see how best to plant it and I hope that it will live. I was so excited to find that.
When I'm searching for plants and herbs I have to constantly remind myself that I can't plant everything I want to have at one time. It is going to take time for me to get my flower and herb gardens the way that I want them. I have to be patient. :-)
I watched Practical Magic the other night. I love that movie. I love the clothes the aunts wear. And that house is just beautiful!
Speaking of houses, I'm so angry and sad. As a prelude, in case I haven't mentioned it before, I love old houses. I think they have such character and were built so well, and they should be preserved as often as possible. If it was up to me we would never tear down an old home to put up a condo or parking lot or strip mall. Older homes and buildings would always be restored. Anyway, there is a house near where I work that was built sometime between 1850 and 1870. A developer bought the land a few months ago and the state preservation society listed it on their site. The home was free to someone who would move it and restore it. Did you see that?...FREE!!! Of course it is not a small house and would need a good size plot of land to be put on and is built of brick so would be very very difficult to move. Well, as I'm driving downtown last Wednesday to pick up some lunch, I see smoke coming from that area. At first I thought some idiot had set it on fire accidentally. Then when I get up to the house, I see... a bulldozer. A BULLDOZER! Those money grubbing self absorbed assholes were tearing it down! They didn't even give the locals a chance to go in and pull out the good stuff like moldings and windows and hardwood floors or anything! Those BASTARDS! I swear I live in the wrong time period because it literally hurt my heart to see that building being torn down. And do you know what they are going to build there? CONDOS! $200k to 400k for a condo! I feel like the city and the state preservation societies really dropped the ball on this. There was nothing in the local paper or news about it being torn down so soon. In fact, it is still on the preservation society's website as being available!
I'm telling you, when I win the lottery or come into a bunch of money, I'm going to start buying these old houses/properties and saving them.

Okay, rant over...I think. :-)

Anyway, family is coming in for a late "easter" lunch. I spent most of today fixing what I could get ready and tomorrow I'll finish everything else. Oh, last week at a yard sale I picked up an old rocker (it looks antique) and will re-upholster it this summer sometime. It is beautiful!

I think I'll go read for a little while. I need to do some knitting but I have a library book I need to get back and should get it finished soon.
Blessings
~*~

Taxes...whew...

I finally finished my taxes. Well, not quite finished...I have to print and mail but other than that...I'm done! And the good news is I don't owe anything. :-) I'll be getting some back, Yaaa hoooooo!!!!

I was a very bad girl today. T and I got into something that really shouldn't have happened. I just can't say no to him. I really need to find a way to say no.

I don't have much else to say right now. I'm very tired and hope that I can sleep tonight. I haven't been sleeping well for about a week now. I sometimes have insomnia and I hope this isn't a sign of things to come. Sometimes my insomnia lasts for weeks or months.

Well, I get to work on my garden this weekend. We have a holiday on Friday and I hope to get my fence up so that I can start planting. I still haven't decided what to plant other than tomatoes and squash. I'll have to pull out my garden catalog and pick out something good.

I'm off...I think it is time to try to sleep.
Blessings
~*~

The fun never ends...

Well, this morning I was to go to the lake to have an early "easter" lunch with my paternal side of the family and hopefully do a little fishing. So, of course, I woke to Thuderstorms, which caused me to turn over and go back to sleep. The rest of the day so far as follows:
Woke up late, fell in the shower, couldn't find my shoes, discovered the dishwasher won't clean the dishes, discovered said dishwasher causes kitchen sinks to back up and then also causes leak - ie: water covering kitchen floor. All of this occurs while I'm trying to prepare a dish to take to the lake for lunch.
So far this is one of those days where I just want to crawl back in bed, pull the covers over my head and sleep it away. oh...did I mention the mice are multiplying?
Ugh...well gotta run as I'm already going to be late for lunch.

Maybe more later if I survive. I'm beginning to feel cursed. Nothing has gone right this week. Oh and I recieved a letter from my GI doctor saying she was droping me for "non compliance with orders". I should send her a letter firing her for "not listening to the patient and finding a workable solution". :-)

Ugh...

I should be ...

...doing my taxes. Well, going through papers to get all my documents that I need to do my taxes, but I'm just sitting here watching CSI and playing on the computer. I'm so tired. It has been a long week. I didn't end up having my test. I wasn't able to get that stuff down. Or rather I wasn't able to keep it down. So they canceled it and asked when I wanted to reschedule it. I told them they could call me to schedule it as soon as they came up with a way for me to have the test without having to drink anything. So I guess I'll hear from them in a few years. :-)

The weather has been great here lately. A little chilly the other day but very nice and sunny. I'm having trouble waking up in the mornings because it is still dark when I have to get up, but I sure do like the later sunsets. It gives me time to do things in my yard when I get home from work. I still have to find fencing to put up around my vegetable garden. I hope to get that this weekend and get it in next week.

I went to the shop and checked out any wreaths that may have sold, but none had. I can't decide if I should make any more or not. I'd like to, but I don't want to wate my time or energy on them if no one wants them. I'll have to check with my friend that owns the shop and see what she says.

Well, I guess that is about it for tonight.

Blessings,
~*~

What is wrong with me...

Why can't I just swallow the meds so I can take this stupid test and get it over with? Twice now I've been scheduled for a colonoscopy to make sure there is nothing wrong there. And twice I haven't been able to take the prep. I am able to swallow part of it and then it just comes right back up. I don't understand why this has to be so difficult! I'm not doing this again. I'm calling tomorrow and telling them I can't drink it and to forget the whole thing. If there is something wrong then so be it. Ugh...I just needed to say that to someone. Even if it is just to myself.
Blessings
~*~

What I did today...

Wow, has it been a busy day. I can barely move my arms. As soon as my comforter is dry I'm making the bed and getting in it! My day started off fairly usual with going to my mum's and running errands with her. Then a friend called and wanted to know if I wanted to borrow his rototiller so I could get my garden tilled up and get busy planting. Of course I said yes and I haven't stopped since! :-)
I tilled up part of my yard and have a nice size spot ready for veggies. I have to go tomorrow and get a fence to put around it so the big beasty won't pee and poo in it. I also planted some petunias and snapdragons (my favorite flower) in my window box and the leftovers in some pretty pots. I weeded my herb garden, mowed the yard, swept the front walk and the drive. I also have done three loads of laundry. Oh and I installed a new shower head and hung a new shower curtain. Then proceded to test said new items (cause by this time I was really icky).
Jeez...when it is all typed up like this, it doesn't seem like so much...but I'm sure tired. Anywho, it was fun. Tomorrow I am going to get my fencing and maybe get some plants. I'm also going to see my Grandmother. I didn't go today so that I could get the garden tilled. Hopefully she won't be too upset with me for missing. I've got to get back to working on my tax stuff. Only 14 days left...

I need to get my taxes done so I can work on a request scarf and start my altar cloth I want to make. I haven't decided what colors for the altar cloth yet. I also need to stop at the shop and see if any of my wreaths have sold. I haven't kept track of which ones I've taken up there so I need to make a list so I'll know what not to make until it sells. I sure hope they are selling.

I'm going to sign off now. I'm starting to fall asleep at the keyboard.
Blessings
~*~

Friday

Woohoo...It's Friday! I'm actually kinda happy about this one. Usually I'm down on Fridays as I have to be away from certain people for two days and also because I just don't do well without a daily schedule to stick to.

I hope to get my garden tilled tomorrow so that I can start to plant. I also have to finish going through some files of papers getting everything ready to do my taxes. I can't believe that I'm still not done with my taxes. I'm never this far behind.

And then on Sunday I begin the lovely process of prepping for a medical test on Tuesday. It isn't a fun test and the prep is a lot less fun. (Use your imagination!)

Anywho, I'm still so confused about T. One minute he is flirting and coming onto me and acting as if he cares about me and the next minute he is ignoring me. It is so difficult to deal with. Maybe these few days will help. I don't know why I think that when I was away from him for over six weeks and he never even contacted me. Of course when I got back he said he had missed me and really seemed like he had. I don't know. I'm so confused!

Oh well, time to start planning my vegetable garden. Tomatoes...squash....peppers....hhhmmm..what else do I want?

Blessings
~*~

Lots of thoughts

There are so many thoughts running through my mind. Thoughts about the day I had at work. Thoughts about the night to come. Thoughts about my life and what to do with it and what is missing from it. Too many thoughts. Mostly my thoughts center around one thing... the man I love. I love him so much. I miss him all the time. I don't understand how I can love someone so much that isn't supposed to be mine. We are so perfect for each other. Everyone I know thinks that we belong together. Even people that I don't know will see us out together and comment on what a nice couple we make. I just wish we were a couple. I would do anything for him and he knows it. I think sometimes he takes advantage of that, but only because I let him. I could say no. At least I think I could. If I could get up the courage. I have tried to say no before. But, I haven't actually been able to get the words out. I love him. I don't think he believed me when I said it. I've actually never said it to his face. I have said it in an email and I've said it on the phone. But I've never said it to his face. I think I'm scared to. I think I'm scared of the rejection that I'm sure will follow. I know that since he doesn't reciprocate my feelings and won't actually commit that he isn't for me. However, I just can't let go. I just can't stop loving him. No matter how badly I want to.

Blessings
~*~

Sickly...

I'm home sick today. Migraine city, plus cough and freezing to death. So here I sit, cuddled on my couch with a pillow and blanket, watching season 1 of Charmed on dvd. I'm tired and hungry but I don't have the energy to fix anything.

I love the house on Charmed. It is so very cool. I've always wanted an old house like that. I acutally had an old house a few years back. I'd been living in my grandparents old house and I tried to buy it but the mean old uncle wouldn't sell it to me. I still hate him for it. That house was so special to me. I grew up in it and now it belongs to someone else. Someone who doesn't appreciate it for what it is.

Anywho, I need to stop thinking about that. I always get very sad when I think about that.

I'm wanting to work in my garden and do some knitting, but I can't do either with this finger. It is still hurting but I'm able to move it more today than before. Anywho, maybe more later.
Blessings,
~*~

The hand is some better today. The area around the broken finger isn't as sore as yesterday but the finger is still stiff and painful.

T is causing trouble for me again. I really think I hate him sometimes. He's gone from being a tease last week to just a general jerk this week. I'd like to knock some sense into his big head, but he wouldn't listen. Maybe I'm the one that needs some sense knocked into me. I have got to get over my feelings for him.

I'm also frustrated with one of my doctors. They ran some tests last week and I still don't have the results. I called this morning to check and they haven't called me back yet. So, I'm frustrated not knowing what is wrong. Oh well, nothing else I can do about it.

I wish I could see the eclipse tomorrow. I've always been fascinated by those. They are just so magical. I guess tonight I'll work on my taxes some more. I need to do some cleaning, but don't know how that will work with one hand. Most of what I have to do requires two hands. :-)

Oh well, only an hour left of work... bleh...

Blessings
~*~

The Finger

Here it is... It's a blurry pic (sorry), but you can still tell where it got caught in the door. They don't think I'll lose the nail (thank the goddess):



Here is the underside of the finger:


Here it is in the splint:




Fun, huh? It was quite an interesting morning trying to shower and wash all my hair (I have very long, thick hair). :-)

It's a sign.... but of what?

Okay, I'm not normally real clumsy or accident prone. But yesterday I did a doozie. I somehow managed to close the door to my car with my left hand and get said hand caught in the door. The door was completely latched! OW! I even managed to do it without cursing! That takes talent! :-)

I ended up suffering in silence for about 5 hours before I went to the urgent care place. They said I cracked the tip of the bone. So I sit here with a bag of ice on my hand, a splint on my finger and having to do everything with one hand. Ugh...

Now, if I could only figure out what it means...

Family

This morning I had brunch with my brother, sister in law, father and stepmother and some of her friends. This afternoon I am meeting with my aunt and a cousin I have never met to discuss family history. (I'm the resident family historian.) Tonight I have to have dinner with said aunt and cousin and again with father and stepmother. And tomorrow night dinner again with said aunt, father and stepmother and brother and sister in law and friend that we had breakfast with today. Wow...too much family stuff. I am the black sheep of the family. I'm the rebel. I'm very rarely invited to things that have to do with this side of my family. But I'm the one with all the information that is needed, so ...

Great to be needed, huh? :-)

Unsettled

I'm feeling very unsettled lately. I have no idea what it is that is bothering me. There are several things happening around and to me lately that could be causing it, but something tells me it is something else entirely. I just feel... off. I feel closed in and almost buried. I do not know what it is, but I must find a way to shake it.

Here is a picture of the last wreath I made. It is called a Spirit Wreath and is sold in a very cool shop in my town. I make them between the New Moon and the Full Moon and they are charged on the Full Moon with the intent of what they were created for. This one is Spirit of Luck.


The picture isn't great, I must get a digital camera soon. The ribbon is a light green and it as metallic gold stars and green shamrock around the outside. The bag on the right contains an herbal mixture for luck and there is also a buckeye. Anywho, just something I do sometimes that I thought I would share.

I need to get back to knitting. I 'm thinking of knitting an altar cloth and felting it. Of course, I've never felted anything and have only ever knit scarves. I would like to try something new though. A store in town is going to have a Learn to Knit class in April that I think I might take. I really want to learn to do more with it.

I just can't shake this icky feeling. Something is wrong and I don't know who it is or where. I hate waiting for the answer. I get these feelings about things sometimes and then they actually happen, or someone will tell me about something that has happened and I'll just know it.

Well, it isn't as if I can force it, so I'll just wait. I think I'll go to bed. The migraine is getting stronger and I'd like to get an early start to the day tomorrow. I have a lot I'd like to get done.
Blessings
~*~

I...need...heat...

I'm freezing! I don't know what is going on, but the heat in my house appears to not be working! The thermostat is set for 66 but is currently reading 63 and showing that the heat is running (which it isn't because it is one of those furnaces that you can hear kick on before the blower actually kicks in). So, I set the thermostat up to 71 which should have made it kick on and it didn't. So... I'm freezing! I guess I'll have to call the heating guys tomorrow. Aside from being upset about this because I'm so cold, is the fact that the replaced the heating and air systems when I bought the house (in fact, they were doing the work the day I closed on the house and for a few days after) and it has only been 6 months since I bought it so it certainly shouldn't be broken. Anywho...did I mention that I'm FREEZING??? I'm going to have to go to bed just to get warm.

I've been so busy I haven't had a chance to work on the blog much the last day or two. I'd like to add some more stuff. I have a pic of the last wreath I made that I want to post. But probably won't do it tonight. Maybe tomorrow...

Well, I'm off to bed and a book.
Blessings
~*~

Yay!

I'm so happy! I was able to add the picture I wanted to the profile and even figured out how to add the tag under it to give credit to the artist (sure don't want to break that copyright thing and get in trouble). So, now that is done (only took me 2 hours to figure it out) I can go to bed and try to get this migraine to go away. Yay! hee hee

Blessings
~*~

New Look

So, I was able to change my blog. I like this better. I like the feel and the look. I'm still trying to figure out a lot of how to change stuff. Mostly I'm unable to get a pic to post in my profile. But I'm still working on it. I don't want to put one of myself. I have found a pic that I love and want to use but I have to fiugre out a way to put a credit line under it so I don't break copyright, etc. Anywho, I'm gonna see if I can find some more things to put on my blog, a visitor counter and other fun stuff.

Blessings
~*~

Long time... no posting...

I need a change. I think I want to change my blog, the name, the look, everything. I guess I just start a new one? I wonder if I can move the posts I've made to this one to another blog. I'll have to look into that. I could go ahead and start the new blog. If I do, I'll make a post here so that anyone who is interested can check out the other one.
Blessings
~*~

I'm pissed

Okay, now I'm pissed. I just found out that a friend of mine (wait, make that a former friend of mine) has been lying to me. She is the only person that knows the whole story about me and my 'friend' "T". She has supported me through the rocky relationship that we have been sharing for the last 3 years and has stood behind me in every problem. I just found out she's been telling him things that she has told me the complete opposite of in regards to he and I. I'm so hurt and pissed. I thought she was my friend. I guess I'm learning everything the hard way lately. Maybe it is time to find a new job and move. I'll know better than to tell her anything again or to even believe anything she says.

Thank the Goddess it is Friday...

It has been a long week. I've been the only person on my team available at work. The rest have been in class all week. It went a lot more smoothly than I was anticipating, but it still wore me out. I've been getting to bed about 9 every night and not having the energy to do anything at all around the house. I also haven't had time for knitting or any other craft projects or working in my yard. It has been great weather for yard work this week. I need to make a few wreaths to take to my favorite shop. Last I heard, the last bunch I took in haven't sold yet, but the owner says not to fret that she is confident they will sell. She even asked me to go ahead and make a few more. I'll have to post a pic of one when I get the next batch done. I'm not sure when the full moon is this month. I think it is on Tuesday or Wednesday next week and that doesn't leave me much time. I have family coming in this weekend so I'll be tied up with that all weekend. There is just too much to do!

I'm so tired. I have to at least stay awake another hour or so to see the second half of the UNC vs UVA game. I love basketball season! Well, College Basketball season that is. I've never really like pro basketball. March Madness is definitely in effect in my house. :-)

Blessings
~*~

Go Heels! 

GO TARHEELS!!!!!!

HOW BOUT THEM HEELS!?!?!?!?!? Tyler Hansbrough rocks! He is the best freshman I've seen in years! No one thought they'd be this good after all those players left last year. Bye Bye Reddick! Tyler forclosed on the Landlord! ACC Championship, here we come!

Blessings
~*~

Break time...

I had a few mintues of downtime while I wait for a server to finish updating so I figured I'd pop on in here and express a few thoughts. I'm tired. I'm down in the bone tired. Do you ever get that way? Where you can barely scrape up enough energy to breathe? Well, that is how I'm feeling today. There is still some evil little creature chipping away at my brain with a sledgehammer. It's been going for quite a while now. I'm not sure how much I can take. I guess if it keeps up I'll have to take one of the magic pills that make me loopey and knock me out. But I can't do that until tonight.

I think I need a new look for my blog. I have searched around for a new template, but can't find one that I really love. I'll have to keep looking. If I knew anything about web page design I'd start making my own. I guess I could add that to the million and three things I want to do at some point. Oh well...

A good friend of mine welcomed their new baby into the world yesterday. I'm very happy for he and his family. I know he'd been wanting to have more children for the longest time. It must be nice to be able to bring a new person into the world. I wish I had some idea of what it is like to experince that. Maybe in my next life. :-(

Looks like the updates are almost done, so I'd better get back to the grind.
Blessings

~*~

Spring? ... or one more blast of Winter...

So, is spring really here? Or will we get one more blast of winter before Springs arrival? I can't decide which I want. I really hate that I haven't seen any real snow this year. However, I'm really enjoying the warm weather and being able to open my windows and get fresh air and I love watching the flowers come up and the trees bloom. But I really want SNOW!

I'm so tired today. This migraine is really kicking tonight. I've had this one for a few days now and I'm not sure how much longer I can take it. I'm not going to get any breaks next week cause I'll be the only one on my team at work. The others will be in a class or on vacation. Anyway, I've got to find a way to get rid of this, or at least to get it lighten up some.

Well, gotta run, time for my Heels to kick some UVA booty. :-)

Blessing
~*~

Tired of migraines

I'm so tired of migraines. There has got to be some way to get relief from all these headaches. I've been wanting to post and talk about my trip but I've had no energy and very little time since I returned. Tonight is bill paying and laundry. I have some pictures that I can post. The ones that I took came out well until they were put on disk. The regular pics are great but the ones on disk are so grainy and blurry. I don't know why that happened. I may try to post some anyway. I have some that my uncle sent that he took and they are great. Of course, he and his wife are professional photographers and videographers.

I had a FABULOUS time in Cancun. I hope to get to go next year. I got a nice tan (not too dark or red) and was able to do a lot of swimming. The food was great and everyone was so nice. This trip was a first for me in many ways. It was my first time in Mexico, first time out of the US and the first time I went PARASAILING! It was soooo great! Keep in mind I'm deathly afraid of heights. It was weird, my sil and I watched some people doing it and talked about how great it looked and how much fun it would be. Then we decided we would do it. I never got scared. I couldn't believe that I didn't get scared but I didn't. It was a blast! We were about 300 ft in the air out over the ocean. It was unbelievably beautiful. The water was so blue and clear. Absolutely stunning! Anyway, I loved it. I had the best time and really want to go back. I'm going to have to start saving my pennies so I can go next time.

I guess I'd best get back to work. Just a little longer an I can go to the video store and grocery for cat food (if I forget to bring that home I think they will kill me in my sleep). Then, I can go home and get the bills paid and see if I can start saving some money for next years cancun trip. :-)

Blessings
~*~

Home again...

I arrived home late yesterday. I had a blast last week. Cancun is a great place to visit. I have lots of pics that I'll try to post maybe tomorrow or sometime this week. I have a ton of mail to go through and laundry to get done.

Blessings
~*~

Time to fly...

I have to be up in 6 hours. I have to be ready to leave in 7. I'm exhausted already and haven't finished packing. But...I'm on my way to CANCUN!!!! I'm so looking forward to this trip. I really need a vacation. I hope this will be a good one.

Have a great week and I'll try to write when I can. I'll also take lots of pictures to post.

Blessings
~*~

Countdown has begun...

I've started my Cancun countdown. I've been getting things prepared and making sure I have all I need to take on my trip with me. Yesterday I bought an mp3 player so I'd have some distraction while on the plane. I'm trying to decide what books to take. I don't want to take anything too "witchy" as my family that I will be traveling with is extremely Southern Baptist conservative. And I really just don't want to get into one of 'those' arguments with them. So, I'll have to peruse my bookshelves tonight and see what i've got. I also have a gift card to Barnes and Noble that I could use before the trip. Maybe get something good to take.

My poor heels lost last night in a thriller. I hate dook. I swear there is something unnatural about that team. No one can be that good for that long. It just doesn't happen.

I'm very, very tired today. I stayed up until after the game and then was awoken by my cell beeping to let me know I had a message. A friend of mine (I use the term loosely right now) who is a dook fan, left me a text message.

Well, best get back to work.
Blessings
~*~

Happy camper...

Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm a happy camper. Last nght's game ended the way I wanted it to, although I would have prefered a better played game. It really wasn't that great of a game. And yes, the refereeing (sp?) wasn't that good either. Anywho, congrats to the Steelers! WoooHooooo....

Terrible towel...

WOOOOHHOOOOOO.... As they are introducing the MVPs of the past 39 superbowls and Franco Harris whips out his terrible towel! He is the man!!! :-)

Finished scarf

Here are a few pics of the scarf that I finished on Friday. I have it ready to give to my aunt. Yesterday I bought more yarn so that I can make the last one for a friend. They had a great sale at Michael's where the fun fur was about half of what it usually is. I ended up getting a couple of extra skeens of a dark blue with a grayish color mixed in. It is really pretty. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it but it was just too nice to pass up.



And here is another one, a closeup. The color doesn't show up very well in these photos. It is much more blue than it appears here.




I really need to learn to knit something different. When I get back from my trip I think I'll try something new like a booda (sp?) bag or something. Maybe socks or mittens. I'm currently freezing my butt off sitting here waiting to see the ball game. I'm watching the Charmed marathon. I don't want to watch all the hype before the game. It always makes me frustrated listening to them.
Anywho, I'm getting excited about my trip next week. I found out today that they hotel I'm staying at has a computer lab type setup where you can check emails and stuff. So maybe I'll be able to post while I'm gone and tell about my trip. I can't remember if I've said where I'm going but in case I haven't...I'm going to CANCUN! Fun, huh? I hope so. I'm not real big on hot weather and am hoping it will be mild while I'm there.
Well, time to check on the laundry and pay some bills before the game starts.

Blessings,
~*~

Let's Go STEELERS!!!!

I'm ready! I'm ready for the superbowl and all the fun that goes with it. I'm so psyched for this game. Yesterday I went to the UNC v Clemson men's basketball game and it was a blast! I had so much fun. So now that they have won that game I can focus on the Steelers today. I've got some pizza rolls, chips, tostitos, queso dip and popcorn for the game. No, I won't eat all of that...but I'll have some variety for whatever I do chose to eat. :-)
I've got on my black sweats and my Steelers sweatshirt and my blanket and terrible towel are ready for kickoff!

GO STEELERS GO!!!!

challenges and decisions...

I've been challenged today and I'm not sure what decision to make. I know I've mentioned my 'decision' to stay away from a certain friend (here known as T). I also know I've mentioned how bad he is for me and that I failed miserably the other week in my efforts to stay away from him and be a good girl. Well, after thinking about it and realizing just how bad I felt about what had happened, I decided to go back to my original plan and stay away from him. Apparently he has other plans. He's never been so attentive and flirty as he has the last few months. And it is just getting worse. The more determined I am to NOT have anything but a normal friendship with him, the more determined he seems to be to be more than friends. I'm so confused. I am trying to just take things one day at a time. He is making this very difficult. See the problem is...I'm in love with him. I know we can't be together and shouldn't be together and I know he doesn't love me. However, I'm powerless when he is around. I try saying no and sometimes I even manage to stick to it. But somehow, I always end up giving in. Ugh...

I've been working on a scarf tonight. It is for my aunt. She had asked me over a year ago and I'm just getting to it. I'm going to see her next week and want to have it done to give to her. It is the third one like it that I have done. Light blue red heart with light blue fun fur. Just a basic scarf, but I like it. I've got one more to make for someone else that asked and then I can start a new project. I took some pics with a pda that has a camera because I don't have a digital camera and I hope to post those tomorrow. I want to learn something new in knitting but I also want to knit something for myself. I have been wanting one of those big thick extra long scarfs. I'm not sure what they are called or even if there is a special name for them, but that is what I want to do. Some friends at work gave me a pattern for a booda bag? (I think that is what it is called) and I'd like to try that. I've only ever done scarfs and I'm a little nervous about branching out, but I have to do it. I'm getting so bored with scarfs.

Anywho, my heels are holding on against maryland tonight. There is still a lot of time left so I hope they can hold on and win. I get to go on Saturday to Chapel Hill and see them play against Clemson. I'm pretty syked about it. I've been to a few games before and I always enjoy it.

I also took some pics of my pet babies and hope to post some of those. I've got to get busy figuring out what to take on my trip. I'm going on a trip out of the country next weekend and I need to get planning. I'm one of those people that has to have a plan for everything. I'm really not good at being spontaneous when it comes to most things. But with some things I can be spontaneous.

Hmmm.... I think I hear a klondike bar calling my name... or maybe some sherbert. I want something sweet. Wish I had a smoothie. :-)

They are calling for some winter weather finally. I hope to see some before I leave for my trip and then again when I get back. It will be warm where I'm going and I hope it won't be too hot. I don't like heat. :-)

I'm almost ready for Sunday's game. I sure hope the Steelers can pull it off and win. They so deserve it. I would really like to see the Bus get a ring before he retires. I'm pretty sure this is his last year.

Oh, what a bad witch...I almost forgot to wish everyone a happy Imbolc. I didn't make any plans to celebrate. I wish I had. I haven't figured out the best way to have rituals here. I don't really have a good place in the house and my back yard is a little too open to the neighbors for my comfort right now.

Anyway, I'd best go. I should do some more knitting although I have a mission I could work on . I'm trying to find some specific information about my grandfather and I should probably do some research on it.

Blessings
~*~

still bitchy after all these years...

Alright, I know I'm still being bitchy but damnit, I have to get this out somewhere or it will eat me alive. My supposed friends are sitting around in front of me talking about sending flowers, or balloons or a gift basket to a co-worker and his family due to their new baby. And part of the conversation was about how they sent stuff to another co-workers daughter when she had surgery last year. Well, some friends. When I had my surgery I didn't even rate a phone call or email. 6 weeks I was all alone and not once did any of them try to contact me. Am I wrong in being a little p'ed off? I guess they don't really consider me their friend. I'll remember that when I'm supposed to do something when one of them has a new baby (which should happen soon, as one of their wives is due next month).

I guess I'm being selfish in wishing that someone, anyone cared about me enough to send flowers or even a phone call would have been nice. Sorry for the pitty pot three days running. Maybe it is the lack of winter weather, but I'm just down.

Blessings
~*~

oopss..

I was actually trying to put that pic as my photo in my profile. Guess I did something wrong. Oh well, I'll keep trying to figure it out. Anywho, that photo is where I got my name. In the poem that inspired Waterhouse to paint that picture Chaucer spelled the goddess' name as Aryadne not the way we see it most often as Ariadne.

Does anyone have any suggestions for books or websites that I can read to help me figure out how to better use Blogger and stuff?

Today has been better than yesterday. Things got worse as I got home but after tonight some of it should be better. (Finances and stuff) At least today is payday. Once I get everything paid I can focus on getting ready for my upcoming trip.

Better get back to work.

Blessings
~*~

Aryadne 

other people's babies...

Why is it that since last January, everyone I know has had some sort of new child experience in their life that they feel they MUST share with me. I'm happy for them, really, but I don't need to know every little detail of their experience. All of them know what I've been through in the past year and a half and yet, they all feel the need to share. Don't they realize this is killing me? Yes, I'm happy for them. I'm thrilled that they are able to have a child (or multiple children) and to have the happy family that they seem to want. I'm even happy for those that didn't really want children but came around to it when they found out they were pregnant. However, haven't I earned the right to NOT be bombarded with this stuff? Don't they realize that telling me every detail of the doctor's appointment or showing me video of the ultrasound is really kind of insensitive? Or am I being selfish?

Some days I wish they hadn't found the problem and it would have just grown until it killed me. Sometimes I'd rather be dead than have to go through the rest of my life with no family and no hopes of having one. I don't know how to make the pain go away, and it just intensifies with each picture and discussion of my friends children or stories in the news about the idiots of the world who smother their children or put them in plastic bags and toss them in a river.

I'm just being selfish. I have to stop being selfish.

Blessings
~*~

Copycat...

I feel like such a copycat. I've seen all these avatars on several blogs that I read all the time so I decided to make one. How original! :-) Long day today. It always is long when I have a migraine. I don't know why I can't get these things to go away. All I know is it better go away within the next two weeks. Because I'm going to on a trip and I don't want to have this pain in my head on my trip.

I'm really rambling tonight... below is a picture of my baby, previously known as "The Beast". :-)
Ain't he cute?!



When I get some better pics of my other babies I'll post those too.
My Tarheels won today. They played very well. And next weekend I'll be at their game. I'm so excited!

Anyway, I guess I still don't have that much to say. I'm gonna get something to drink and then do some surfing or some work...not sure which. :-)
Blessings

~*~

Gilmore...

Have I mentioned I LOVE Gilmore Girls? abc Family channel is great... they show Gilmore Girls at least twice a day. I so wish I had their wit. Paris is crazy scary. Anyway, Gilmore Girls rock! Just had to say that.

Blessings
~*~

Migraines suck...

I hate migraines. I hate them with a passion. I have been home for two days now with a horrible migraine. I really need to go back to work. I actually miss it. Ok I just realized I have nothing to say. Oh well, maybe I'll try this later.
Blessings
~*~

Hungry...

I'm so hungry...I don't have much in the fridge and no patiece to cook, so...I love being able to order pizza online. Yay! It should be here soon. I really can't afford it right now but I just didn't know what else to do.

Work was not much fun today. I did a bunch of boring updates on a bunch of pcs. Y'know...CSI is a really cool show. There is so much wierd stuff they show. Sometimes I just can't watch it because of the gore. Yuck yuck.
I saw Into the Blue this weekend. It wasn't too bad. Geez, I'm rambling. Guess I just don't have much to say today. Maybe I'll feel a bit more forthcoming after I've filled my tummy. :-)

Blessings
~*~

Superbowl bound...

YES!!!!! STEELERS ARE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL!!!!!! I'm sooooo happy about that! I watched the game wearing my steelers sweatshirt, under my steelers blanket and twirling my Terrible Towel! I love it! Now if my UNC Tarheels can start playing well and win against Florida State, I'd be extremely happy. :-) And Duke lost! Wooooo hooooooooooo!!!!!

On to other stuff. It finally feels like winter here. I'm sitting here freezing my a** off (and there is a lot to loose back there). :-) Wish it would really go away that way. Three weeks from today I'll be in Cancun. I'm getting nervous about the flight. Did I mention that I HATE to fly? Oh well.

I had an interesting day this past Friday. I blew my goal for the year. I didn't make resolutions cause I never am able to keep them an usually blow them in the first few days. However, I did make some "decisions" regarding things I want to change about myself or my life. One of them was to stay away from the previously mentioned "T". I use "T" because that stands for Trouble, which is exactly what he is. I had promised myself that I wouldn't spend any quality time with him. When I say quality time I mean any time getting physical. Well, I blew it on Friday. I gave in to my basest desire when I knew it would be wrong and very very bad for me. Damnit! I tried for so long to keep my feelings urges under control. But I'm not going to give up. I'm going to start again and remind myself how horrible I felt after it was over this last time. {Horrible emotionally, cause the physical part? ;-) Oh baby!}

Alright, battery is dying on the laptop and dinner is almost ready. Gotta go now. Maybe more later.

random thoughts

Well, I wasn't able to take my test on Monday. I feel so stupid because everyone else I know is able to drink that stuff that you have to have for cts' and such, but I can't. I know I needed to have the test to make sure nothing had come back, but I just couldn't get it down. I drank about half the bottle and it started reversing in direction. Ewww...TMI? Oh well, no one is probably reading this anyway. :-)

I created 5 wreaths last week and took 4 of them to EBN to sell on consignment. The one I didn't take just didn't feel like it was ready to leave yet. There is something missing from it and until I figure out what it is, I don't want to send it out there for someone else. I'm hoping they will sell well, because I could really use the money. Since I'll be out of town next full moon, I won't be able to make any. But I already have some ideas for the next batch. This batch was spirit of air, spirit of fire, spirit of water and spirit of the chakras. I thought the chakra one turned out the best. I really liked the rainbow ribbon that I found. Air was my second favorite.

The beast has been very fussy this evening. I'm not really sure why. He's been out several times tonight but keeps acting like he needs to go again. I guess I should let him out one more time before bed. Okay - so we went to the back door and he just stood there looking at me like I was insane. I don't know what is wrong with him. Maybe he's just fussy.

How bout them STEELERS? I'm SOOOO excited about them going to the afc championship game. I hope that they can go all the way. They'll still be my team if they don't. But they need to win!

Anyway, blessings to everyone...
~*~

They always come in three's...

Three is a magical number. Three represents the triple aspect of the goddess. (Mother... Maiden... Crone) Is that why death always comes in threes? We lost another member of our family this past week and it has been very hard to accept. Everytime the phone rings I expect to get bad news about someone else. I guess I'm waiting for the third. Two in a week is just too much.
On Friday, I was given a promotion at work. I'm very happy about it. I finished making my wreaths yesterday. I might see if I can get some pictures of them and put on here. I'm taking them to the shop on Tuesday. Hopefully they will do well. Tomorrow I have to have a procedue that requires me to clean out my colon. I'm sooooo not happy about that. Why can't they make that stuff not taste so vile? If they can put people in space then they should be able to flavour medicines in such a way that they don't make you hurl. I'm so looking forward to spending my evening in the loo. :-) Not! I've got to figure a way to move the tv so I can see it while I'm in there. The steelers play today against the colts. I sure hope they win.

I'm worried about one of my kitties. She is bleeding from somewhere but I can't find where. I tried to catch her so I could take her to the vet but she is very quick and good at hiding. There is just a little blood, and she doesn't seem to be sick. I'm going to try again in a little while.

Well, I guess I'll go have some lunch. Lime jello...yum. :-(

Blessings
~*~

Winter...where art thou?

What has happened to winter? We should have snow and freezing temps right now but yesterday it was in the 60's and today in the high 50's. I miss winter. I NEED snow! I need the cold weather, the brisk breeze and the frosty air. But with the way gas prices are right now I might be better off. Gas bill was WAY too much this month. I've still to figure out how to pay for it.
Well, the heels just won. Wooo hooo!! It was close but they pulled it out.

I finished the scarf I've been working on since right before Christmas. It is made with regular brown yarn (Red Heart probably, can't recall) and Modea Wild in a kind of fall colors. It is beautiful. It was supposed to be a holiday present for a friend at work, but I didn't get it done in time. I'm still going to give it to her. I hope she likes it. I have two more I've been asked to make and need to get them done as soon as I can. Both are carolina blue with reg yarn and fun fur. After those are done, I might try to branch out and learn something other than scarves. I would like to make a really soft, big, thick, long one. I found a modea dream yarn in kind of a sage green (which happens to be one of my most favored colors) and want to do something cool with it.
Well, I guess I'm off. Have another full day of class tomorrow and need to have a clear head. Since I've been working on a serious freaking migraine all afternoon, I should try to sleep this one off. I'd rather do that than have to take the hydrocodone. (the pills are the only meds I've found that knock out my migraines, and I've tried them all) I hate the way they make me feel, the pills that is although the migraines aren't great to enjoy. Plus, I wouldn't be able to drive at all so it would be best to take it at night but it isn't to that point yet. I certainly need to be careful because it would be very easy to become addicted to them. So, I only take when I can't stand the pain any longer.
Well, night to anyone who reads this. Blessings
~*~

Wagers and winnings

This past Saturday there was a big game between my favorites (UNC Tarheels) and the NC State Wolfpack. Big rivalry where I'm from. Anywho, being a big game there of course had to be a big bet between myself and T. Well, I won the bet and I've already been asked twice when I'd like to collect on our wager. I'm not sure that I want to collect. Usually when I win a wager I have to wait ages to collect no matter what the winnings are. This time they are rather personal and they seem eager to pay up. I, on the other hand, may just wait to collect. Or perhaps not collect at all. You see, if I do choose to collect this particular wager (the winnings of which I never really agreed to as defined by them) I would be violating my promise to myself for the new year in regards to T. Therefore, I'm hesitant to collect. I guess I'll have to give this more thought.

There was another big game this weekend. The Pittsburgh Steelers finally took it to the Cincinatti Bengals. I was so thrilled with their win. I am sorry for the bengals quarterback and hope the injury he sustained isn't too bad.

I've become really addicted to the blog thing. I have found several that I read every day and that I find very interesting. It is taking more time that I really should allow. But what the heck...it's fun and harmless. Therefore it must be good for me! :-)

Tonight is decoration removal night. I was going to take everything down this weekend, but with the funeral stuff there was just too much else to do and not enough energy to do it when I finally made it home. Hopefully tonight it will go well and I can put away all the holiday decorations. There really aren't that many and shouldn't take too long. The biggest thing will be getting the tree down and out of the house.

Anywho, must head off now as it is almost time to head home from work.
Blessings
~*~

Not enough time...

There just never seems to be enough time anymore. There are always so many demands on us that we never have time to do everything that needs to be done or even just enjoy the time we have. My sister-in-law's grandfather passed away yesterday. He'd been ill for some time and was placed in hospital two days before Christmas. The family had to make the decision to take him off the ventalator yesterday. My sister-in-law is taking it very hard. She was very close to him. I wish there was something I could do for her.

I'm off to bed. Long day...tomorrow will be even longer and then back to work on Monday.

Blessings
~*~

Sticking to it...

So far so good. I've been able to stick to most of the wishes I had for the new year. I'm drinking my tea to help my liver. I'm keeping my house picked up and the kitchen clean (I've been very bad about leaving dishes in the sink in the past). But most importantly, I'm sticking to my "resolution" to stay away from "Trouble" (who will from now on be refered to as T). T was very flirty yesterday and is pushing for more than I'm willing to give. I am going to stick to my decision to have no more than a "friend" relationship with him and not allow things to get physical. I have to stick to that. T is not good for me to be involved with and I have to remember that and focus accordingly. There is just too much in the way of the type of relationship I would want with him. So, I am exercising excellent restraint in that department. I'm also doing pretty good on the sweets front. Yay for me!

I had wanted to post yesterday but after arriving home from work I had to get my bills paid for the month and that didn't go well. By the time I was done I was exhausted and just didn't feel like bringing out the laptop and getting online. I think I watched football for a while and then watched Medium (which I think is an excellent show, btw) and then headed to bed. I was soooo tired.

Well, since I'm at work (and have already had my first temper tantrum of the new year) I should get back to work. Ugh...

Blessings
~*~