and the winner is...

me. :-)

Just kidding.

I saw my doctor today and I have steatohepatitis. He said there was significant scarring of the liver and that if I don't get it under control, it will move on to cirrhosis. Oh. boy.

He also was not at all concerned that I had spent the last week in excruciating pain. He said he thought it was from the biopsy and since it had stopped, he wasn't worried about it.

So, I am to lose weight as that is the only "treatment" for steatohepatitis.

In other news, I woke up on Saturday with no pain (Yay!) and spent an amazingly long day working on my kitchen. I cleaned it from top to bottom and reorganized the cabinets. Over all it was a good day.

Oh and I also did something that I haven't done in a while. Yes, that's right, I pulled out the knitting needles! I worked a few rows on my never ending afghan. It took me a few minutes to figure out where I had left off, but it was great to get back to it. I've missed it.

I've also worked on several wreaths. I'll finish them up tonight, tag them tomorrow and take them to the shop on Thursday. I'll try to get pictures and post tomorrow.

Oh... happy full moon! If you get a chance, take a look outside tonight. I'm sure it will be beautiful!

Blessings,
~*~

still nothing..

I still don't have an answer as to what is wrong with me and why I'm in so much pain. It is driving me crazy. They want me to come back tomorrow and see a fourth doctor. I just don't think I can do that.

Work has been hectic and I've been coming home and pretty much crashing. Tonight I have more work to do from home which I'll get to once I eat dinner. I'm cooking spaghetti for dinner and am also cooking the green beans that I got at the farmers market this weekend.

I've decided to start using my other blog again. I started the other day and it is really under construction. When I opened it back up, I had to upgrade it and so I lost my background (which I loved). The link is in my sidebar. I feel like this site is my darker side and I need a lighter side too. I know... weird...

Anyhoo...I'm off to finish fixing dinner and getting back to work.

Blessings,
~*~

mystery...

Apparently, I am a mystery. Or rather my body is. Saturday afternoon I started having pain in my side, just below where they did the biopsy. I suffered through, took some percogesic and went to bed. I tossed and turned all night as I could not get comfortable. Sunday morning when I finally got up, I went to the Urgent Care. I hate going to those places but was in immense pain and couldn't stand it. After 3 hours there, I was sent to the hospital for an ultrasound.

The urgent care doc's opinion was gall bladder. But because of the recent biopsy they needed to make sure that it wasn't the biopsy site bleeding out. After the ultrasound, i had to hang around in the radiology waiting room for the results. Turns out everything looked good and normal, including my gall bladder. So the doc says for me to take ibuprofen, rest and if it gets worse during the night to go to the emergency room (fat chance) or come in to the office in the morning if it is worse.

Well, that's a big huge frickin help. Here is the problem: it feels like I'm being stabbed when i breathe in anyway other than short shallow breaths. If I yawn, sneeze, cough, burp, or just try to take a regular breathe, it really hurts. No matter which way I lie down, it hurts, some worse than others, but still intense pain. I'm currently at work, as I feel there is nothing to be gained by going back to the doctor.

The doctor seemed quite puzzled yesterday afternoon when I talked to him. This isn't the first time my "phantom" pains have puzzled someone. I guess my body enjoys being mysterious. I just wish it didn't have to include pain. :-(

Blessings,
~*~

autumn is grand...

Isn't autumn fabulous? I love this season of the year. I love how the air is so brisk and clean, I love the flowers, the changing of the leaves and the pumpkins. My mum and I decided to do something we haven't really done since my Grandmother passed last year. We had what mum likes to call, a mother daughter day. We went out for breakfast (pancakes!), then went to the farmer's market and I got so many things! I got apples, peaches, half-runners, collard greens, a flat of pansies, two mums, a ghost pumpkin and a regular pumpkin. It was so much fun!

We also went through some of my Grandmother's close that my mum still had and will take them to mum's church to donate to a yard sale. My Grandmother would like that. It was a little tough, going through them, remembering her wearing them. But it needed to be done.

After I left mum, I went to grocery and then came home and emptied the car. I had a ton of stuff to bring in and it took quite a while. I haven't finished planting all my pansies, but I did get the window box done.


Don't you love autumn?

Tomorrow I'm getting my Halloween decorations down and setting them out. Yay!

Blessings,
~*~

PS...I did hear from the nurse yesterday, she called to schedule an appointment with the doctor so he can go over my results. My appointment is not until the 14th so I'm assuming it can't be very bad news or he wouldn't wait so long. Dontcha think?

Results are in...

...but do I know them? No, of course not! The nurse called me this morning and left a message for me to call her. I don't know how I missed the call, the phone was right beside me but I never heard it. Anyhoo, I called back within 2 minutes and she was on another call. I left a message, never heard... I called back at least 3 or 4 more times (only left 2 messages). By the end of the day...still hadn't heard back. I hope I didn't tick her off with all the calls but I really really need to know!

Hopefully I will know something tomorrow. I think if I don't, I really will go insane. :-)

Blessings,
~*~

Bruises...

First, I want to say Thank You for the hugs, prayers and kind thoughts and words. You guys are so great!

The procedure went well and I was released around 2:30 this afternoon. The doctor who did the biopsy said I could not stay by myself tonight so my mum decided I would be staying with her. We ended up getting into a slightly heated argument about it. She wanted me to come to her house and stay so that she'd "be more comfortable." I was so hurt by that. I ended up getting to come home, but not before I had to get snippy about it. I thought we had decided that she would stay here with me. But after about two hours here with me, she decided to go home. She said for me to keep the phone close by in case there was a problem. I tell you, I just don't get it.

As far as the procedure itself, it wasn't too bad. The worst part was the pain afterward. They made me lie on my side, the one they had just poked into, to put pressure on it and help it heal. It really hurt! I have bruises on my side, my hands, my arms. I was poked and prodded so much.

So, I'm sitting on my couch, watching reruns of Two and a Half Men. I hope the pain will lessen soon. They gave me two vicodin a little after 1pm and at 2 when they came to check on me about discharging me they were surprised that the pain hadn't lessened. Unfortunately, they wouldn't give me more drugs.

I should hear something from the doctor about the test results next week. Hopefully, it will be early in the week. I hate waiting...

Blessings,
~*~

Scared

Fall seems to have come to my area with a bang. The weather has been in the high 60's and low 70's for a high for the last few days. It feels wonderful. We are getting high winds thanks to the storm off the NC coast. I love it so much! I have the windows open and have really been enjoying the cool weather and fresh air.

The last few weeks I've had a lot on my mind. So much so, that I've been unable to focus on much of anything. Work has required a lot of extra hours and with all the stress I have pretty much lost the ability to sleep. I'm worried. I'm also scared.

I have been having a few health problems and have seen several different doctors. No one can seem to come to a consensus as to what might be wrong with me. Apparently several of the results have not been good. Therefore, tomorrow morning I'll be at the hospital having a biopsy of my liver. The issue that the GI thinks I have is a disease that is only treated with medication that I don't want to take. The side effects will just exacerbate the symptoms I already have. I'm trying not to put the proverbial cart before the horse, but I am worried.

I'm pretty much in a wait and see mode and have been for weeks now while they do one test after another. It is very, very frustrating to me. I don't like to wait for answers. I like to know as soon as possible. I'm expecting a week or two before I'll actually know what is wrong with me. Unfortunately, this whole process has just revived all my memories and feelings from three years ago when I found out I had ovarian cancer. That was the most devastating doctor's visit I have ever had. I'm hoping there won't be another one to rival it.

I debated talking about this here. Honestly, I have no where else to talk about it. I can't share this information with people at work. My family has enough stress on them so talking with them isn't possible. Then my mum... well, mum lives in her own little world where nothing is ever bad and only good things are possible. I found out recently that all this time since my hysterectomy, she has believed that I only had benign tumors. Um...hello...benign tumors? I ended up having to call my gynecologist in order to verify that I had understood my diagnosis correctly. And to top it off, when I told mum I had to have a biopsy, the first words out of her mouth was "don't schedule it for next week, I don't have time." What the F is that? Ugh!

So, I'm on pins and needles, waiting... again. And I'm really, really scared.

Blessings,
~*~

bloom day #5 and other stuff

Above is my beautiful new plant that I found at the nursery of the local farmer's market. It is a big beautiful fuchsia. I'm really hopeful that I will be able to keep it alive.

Below is a closeup of some of the blooms.


I haven't not intended for this to become solely a gardening blog, but it seems that lately that is all I've posted about. I do have other things going on and sometimes I am just not sure about writing about them here.

I have decided to change the name of my home business. I have been calling it SpiritWitch Designs for a while, but just haven't felt comfortable with that name. It just doesn't seem to fit. So, I've finally found one that I like. I'm currently working on getting my logo for it designed. I have an image in mind and just have to figure out how to make it work. I'm not very good with Photoshop and that is the software I'm using to put it together. If anyone knows how to merge two photos together in photoshop, I could sure use some tips.

I've been going to acupuncture once a week and I'm also seeing a counselor and the combination seems to be helping me get out of my depression. I've been feeling much better lately and even made it through an entire week of work last week. Yay me! Oh and the best part... 2 and 1/2 weeks and NO HEADACHE/MIGRAINE!!!!

One other thing that has been helping me is this blog. It seems that every time I check in on her blog, the post that I find is something that seems written just for me. mccabe is coolest chic and such an inspiration.

So, I should get back to work, I feel that I have rambled on enough for now.
Take care
Blessings,

~*~

Change is a good thing...

I'm trying out this new template. I found it a while back and have really loved it but am just not sure if it is for me. At least, not for the theme of this blog. I'll have to test it and tinker with it for a little bit to see what I think.

I'm still sick. I finally went to the doctor this morning. I have a head cold (I could have told them that!) and it is settled in very well. The right side of my head is completely clogged up. The doctor gave me two nasal sprays, some pills and some liquid medicine to take. Ugh... I hate feeling like this, especially on my days off.

I was able to get some errands done today though. I made it to the yarn shop where I'll be taking knitting classes to pick out my pattern and get the supplies. I'll post more on that later. I also went to the grocers to get supplies for my traditional new years meal. I always stay home on New Years Day and fix a traditional southern meal of ham, collards, black eyed peas and cornbread. I had wanted to go today because they are calling for rain and storms for the next few days and with this cold I don't need to be out in the weather. However, I did forget one thing that I desperately need... cat food! I have just enough to feed them in the morning and then I'll have to go out tomorrow to get more.

I was also able to get a little bit of cleaning done and also some laundry. Not much mind you, but a little. I feel better having done something since the last few days have been spent doing nothing.

Well, I'm off to play with my design and see if I can make this look the way I want. There may be some other changes coming to the blog...maybe.

Blessings,
~*~

I hate being sick...

I still feel horrible today and I absolutely hate being sick. I can't breathe, have to blow my nose every few minutes and can't stop coughing. My mum is going to be in the area this afternoon and will bring me some medicine and juice. The stuff I've been taking isn't helping at all. I ended up staying home from work as I just couldn't pluck up the energy to go in.

I'm thinking about changing my blog template. I have found one that I like, but I'm not sure it suits the theme of my blog. Maybe I'll change that too. I just don't know, maybe a mind full of woozieness is not a good time to make decisions! :-)

Anywho, back to HP and the Goblet of Fire (for about the 20th time) and my kleenex...

Blessings,
~*~

Sickly Witch

It finally happened. My fall cold finally came in and it came with a vengeance. I am sick. I have a horribly sore throat and am very congested. I usually get this way in the fall when the weather starts to change. It took a lot longer to come in this time. I did make it to work yesterday and today. I just have to get through the rest of today and tomorrow and then I'll have a nice long weekend. I've promised to go see Mum and Grandmother on Saturday and Sunday, but I'm taking Friday and Monday for myself. I don't know what I'll do, but I will do it at home! :-)

I've been taking a few pictures with my new camera. I have to learn how to download them before I can start posting pictures. I'm going to try to get one tonight of my tree so I can see the difference between what I've been using and what I have now.

Tonight is a get together for a book discussion group I'm joining. I feel like crap and I don't particularly wish to share my germs, but I really want to go. So, I'm going. I need to pick up some stuff from the shop anyway.

Last night I watched a marathon of The Dog Whisperer. It is so cool the way Cesar knows how to help the owners with their dogs. I'm thinking of writing to him to see if he can help me. I should probably read his book first. :-)

Well, I'm signing off now. I think we are getting ready to watch a movie at work and I'm wanting to see it. :-) Oh, speaking of movies...here's a tip...don't bother with The Wicker Man...it was horrible!

Knitting stuff...

Well, I actually accomplished some knitting yesterday while watching the Steelers game. (Poor Ben...he is having such a string of bad luck!) Anywho, I think I am now just over halfway there. I want it to be able to wrap it around my neck at least once and still have it reach near my knees. So, this will be really long. I'm not a tall person, but it will still be long. I really like the way it is working out.
I've also been looking at some knitting classes. All the ones I've found so far are during the weekday and I can't make those. I need to find something in the evenings. There are a fwe more places I can try locally because I really don't want to drive too far to take the classes.

I also purchased a few new skeins of yarn this weekend. It was red heart, 1 skein is the light blue (I can never have too much carolina blue!) and the other is a rainbow of colors. Very pretty. I'm not really sure what I'll do with the second one yet. There was a big yarn sale at Michaels this past week. I really wanted to get more, but I just couldn't justify spending the money when I have so much yarn at home and have nothing to make with it. I think this scarf is the last one I will do until I learn to knit something other than scarves. I guess that means no knitting until I take some classes. :-(

Yesterday morning I woke up with a blood spot in my eye. The last time this happened I ended up with a huge blood blister on my eyeball and had to go to several specialists and have cat scans and mris and they never could figure out what caused it. So far, it is just a big spot and no blister type bubble. It is very painful though, and I have some reaction to light.

Anyway, enough of my aches and pains. I'm going to go surf a little and then get back to the knitting of the never ending halloween scarf. :-)

Blessings,
~*~