Never give up...

Yesterday's post was very sad and pitiful. Today after a visit with a friend, I'm feeling much better about things. She reminded me that I should never give up on something that I am so passionate about. After I told her about the property and my predicament, she reminded me that I have it in myself to make it happen. She really made me feel better about myself and about the situation.

With that in mind, I've decided not to give up hope. I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure the universe knows what I want and helps me to get it. I have some magickal workings I'll be doing starting tonight, on the new moon. And I'll be bringing in some of the hoodoo aspects that I am learning. I know deep down that it is where I belong and I will reach my goal.

I'll post when something breaks!

Now, on the knitting front, I also have a never give up attitude. Last night when I started back on the sock, I was very frustrated with it and decided to just rip it out and give it up. After about 10 minutes of moping about not being able to knit socks, I started it all over again and I think it is coming along well. I plan to work on it tonight while I watch Ghost Whisperer and Lisa Williams and America's Best Psychic (or whatever it is called).

I'm off to give the beast his medicine and then start some work on my project.

Blessings,

~*~

new dreams fade away...

I found out today that I will not be able to afford the property that I have been looking at purchasing. I can get the loan without a problem, but I would not have enough money to live on each month after the house payment was made.

I think the reason that I never became too excited about this opportunity was that I knew it wouldn't happen. I have begun to expect any dream that I have to be shot down or taken away. The only good thing that came from my meeting today was that I learned that I could actually afford more than I thought I could. I suppose I will keep looking for a property like the one I wanted, but I don't believe I will ever find it.

I've been wondering what I did in a past life or even in this one to deserve so much heartbreak. I think I've had more than my fair share. It would be nice if at least one of my dreams could come true.

I've been told on more than one occasion that I am an empath. It makes it so much harder to hold back the pain when I have to feel everyone else's too.

This has hit me harder than I'd thought. I hope to put an end to the pity party tonight and will be back to regular posting tomorrow. Maybe I'll try some knitting to ease the pain. Or maybe I'll just go to bed early.

Blessings
~*~

We have HEAT, baby!

Yes, we have heat! This morning around 1:30 I woke up freezing my booty off and decided it was time to turn on the heat. When I flipped the switch, nothing...nada...zilch. Being 1:30 am I refused to go outside in the 30 degree temperatures to check the breaker and I could not find batteries to change in the controller so I added two more blankets to the bed, snuggled up to the dog and then went back to sleep.

Work was a nightmare today so I wasn't able to address the heat issue until this afternoon. Luckily, when I flipped the breaker off and then back on and went to try the heat again, the furnace kicked right in. What a relief! It is supposed to get down to 27 tonight and I don't think I could have taken it. :-)



Sock class was last night and let me tell you, I have a new found appreciation for anyone who can actually knit socks. How in the world do you hold all those needles? I had to start over three times but may be getting the hang of it. I'm trying to decide if I want to work on the computer tonight or if I want to knit. I should probably knit while I can remember what she told us, but part of me wants to just surf the net tonight.

Blessings
~*~

Sock night...

Tonight is a sock night, in more ways than one. Tonight was the first of my two sock knitting classes. I'm so confused! I have a lot of work to do before next week's class. Next week we will be turning the heel and finishing up. I didn't make it very far tonight as I kept ending up with more stitches than I should have on two of the needles. I'll try to post a picture tomorrow.

The other reason that it is sock night is because it is COLD! I think it is supposed to get below freezing tonight. I never did finish digging out the garden. Tomorrow night's low is supposed to be 27. I think it will be this weekend before I can get in the yard. Oh well...

I've still been thinking about the change that I want to make. It seems to be all I can think about. I have made an appointment with a banking officer for Thursday to see if I could qualify for a loan because if I can't, there is no reason to continue thinking about it. I'm also feeling a pull toward a different career and am looking into what I would need to change my type of job. It would require my going back to school and I don't know that I could do that if I bought this property. I don't know if I could afford it financially, but I could maybe take one class here or there to start out and see if it is really what I want.

So, no real news on the possible big changes. I'm headed off to bed now so that I can get up in the morning and get to the gym to swim.

Blessings,
~*~

Whirlwind and knitting

This week has been an absolute whirlwind of activity. On Halloween, we had a party at work and I was part of the "entertainment". I was to be the "gypsy fortune teller". I did tarot readings from 8:30am until after 1:15pm. I was shocked at how many people wanted readings. I was also kind of surprised at how accurate most everyone said I was. I know I shouldn't doubt my abilities, but it has been ages since I have done readings.

Anyway, the most disturbing reading I gave was for someone who has been referred to on this blog before as T for trouble. I hate seeing myself in a reading. Ugh... I tried to explain what I saw, but I don't think T took it seriously. I hope he did otherwise things could be grim for him.

Okay, so now to the rest of the whirlwind, I have spent almost every waking moment knitting on the baby sweater for my s-i-l's sis. I was doing really well until I finished the second sleeve on Friday night and discovered when I held it up that the sleeve was in the middle of the back. Duh! I had to pull it out and then start that part over again. I did get it finished 15 minutes before I was to give it to her. Here it is:


I'm really pleased with how it turned out and with how I did in fixing my mistakes on my own. Most important the mom to be loved it. :-)

Yesterday, I took a ride up the mountain to look at a house that I am interested in. In this post I wrote about needing to find a new dream. Well, I may have found it. The home I am looking at is 1 hour and 30 minutes from my job. That is the only negative thing about this property. The house was built in 1828 and sits in the middle of 68 acres of land, most of it wooded. There is also a nice stream that runs through the property and it has a great old barn and a nice sized workshop that is relatively new and wired. I am really crazy about this property. It is exactly what I have wanted for more years that I can count.

The price is a little more than I'm comfortable with but I think it is doable. I just don't know who long I can drive 3 hours a day to work. If I decide to buy this property, it would be a serious life change. I know it is where I should be. Even before going to see it, I did a working on the night of the full moon to start the process flowing. I admit, I am a little scared. It would be such a change. I would be very much on my own. I'm so used to having my family close by and not having to take care of everything on my own. But it really is something I want.

I know, I've started rambling. I think I'm trying to work this out in my head, by writing here. Well, I'm going to stop writing about it and just leave it at this. I'm going to meditate on it and also ask my guardians to help me decide what to do. I'm sure I'll post about it again.

Well, I'm off to relax. My whole body needs to stretch and relax from all the tension in getting that sweater finished. Hmmm, I wonder what is on the TV tonight.

Blessings,
~*~

Happy Samhain!

Whew... what a day so far! I wanted to pop in for a second and wish everyone a wonderful and blessed Samhain. And Happy Halloween to any non-pagans! :-)

I've just finished carving the pumpkin, picture to follow later, and am getting ready to pick up the beast from the vet and then get ready for any trick or treaters that might stop by as well as get things ready for my Samhain ritual later this evening. Enjoy your night and watch out for visiting spirits! :-)

Blessings!
~*~

Knitting like mad

I wish I had a picture. I'm at work and I've stopped copying my pictures to my laptop, so no picture. Last night I knit for three hours. I had to start the baby raglan again! I had found a yarn over that wasn't intended and couldn't figure out how to get back so I just ripped it and started fresh. I sure hope I'll get done before 2:30pm on Sunday.

Tomorrow is our Halloween Carnival at work. I am the entertainer for the event, the "fortune teller". I'll be doing mini readings (past, present and future). I'm a little nervous about reading for my co-workers, there are some I don't want to know anything about, if ya know what I mean.

Well, I'd best get back to work. Less than an hour left and then knitting class tonight. I still have to select my outfit for tomorrow and also pick out my pumpkin designs.

Maybe tomorrow I can post knitting pictures and pumpkin pictures.

Blessings,
~*~

a day in the country...

Yesterday, Mum and I took a trip to the country. Some friends live in a rural area in the next county and were having a Brunswick Stew sale at the fire department. We went and had lunch and picked up our 20 quarts. It is delicious! I really think theirs is the best I've ever had.

After lunch we went to Dempsey's Place to check out the open house they were having. Mum ended up getting four framed prints. They are so beautiful! Dempsey was there and personalized the prints and also gave us his 2008 calendar, personalized, for free. He is a very nice person and I think he is a great artist.

The picture above is what I bought at Dempsey's Place. They had different sizes and also snow Santa's that matched. I would like to get one of each at some point.

After we left Dempsey's, Mum took me down the road to a little antique shop. They had some interesting stuff. I found this beautiful Hat Pin there at a very reasonable price, so I had to get it.



So far today I have checked email, downloaded and gone through my photos from yesterday, been to the grocery, started laundry, washed a load of dishes and started cooking some collards. I'm going out in the yard in a little bit to clean the gutters and rake leaves. I also need to finish cleaning out the garden. My compost bin is so overflowing I can't get anything else in. I need to get a larger one.

Anyway, hopefully I can get my yard stuff done and then get back to the knitting. I have to get this baby sweater done. Last night I found a whole that I'd left so I started going back a few rows to fix it. I really don't want to have to start over again. I did find out that the sweater has to be ready by next Saturday. I guess I know what I'm doing this week, with every spare minute. :-)

Blessings,
~*~

Time doesn't really fly... or I need a new dream

This morning, I awoke at 4:18, without the assistance of an alarm clock. The first thing I realized was that it was The Day. The Day is when I lost all my dreams and all my wishes. The Day is when I realized that Fate can be cruel and likes to play games with one’s mind. It has been three years since The Day. Three long, sad years. I have carried on with my life, but I have never been whole. My entire life prior to The Day was spent in anticipation and preparation for the family that I would have. I grew up watching Little House on the Prairie and The Walton’s. I wanted to be Olivia Walton. I wanted her life, the country home, the loving husband and seven or eight children. I knew deep down in my bones, in my soul, that was the life for me. All of my life I KNEW that was my destiny. I never even considered wanting or trying for something different.

Then it happened, pain, blood, surgery to remove a swollen and blocked fallopian tube. I was not happy about this surgery, but I couldn’t take all the bleeding, the pain anymore. And my gynecologist assured me it would not hinder my plans for child bearing. I knew when I came to, even groggy as I was that something wasn’t right. The doctor wouldn’t look me in the eye, nor would my mum. On the ride home, I vaguely remembered the doctor saying there would be pictures of the surgery should I want to see them. I asked my mum for them, but she refused to give them to me. “Not right now,” she said, “you’re still too woozy. I’ll show them to you tomorrow.” I knew.

The next day, I asked again for the pictures and received more excuses, “I forgot them at home with your paperwork, and I’ll bring them tomorrow.”

It was two more days before I was given the pictures. They were left for me where I would find them when she wasn’t there to answer questions. An hour after I looked at them, the doctor called and wanted me to come in that day to see another doctor in the practice as a ‘follow-up’. “What aren’t you telling me?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer. “When can you get here? We’ll talk then,” she said. An hour and half later, I walk through the doors of the practice. There are pictures of each doctor on the wall, with their specialty listed below. My eyes searched for the name she had given me. There, I spot her name and look down at the title before looking up at the picture…Gynecological Oncologist. My heart stopped and somewhere inside me, my soul began to die.

The wait wasn’t long, but the conversation was long. It seemed to last for hours. Borderline tumors. Low-malignant ovarian cancer. It grows outside, not like normal cancers. Can you use the word normal and cancer in the same sentence? Only one choice. “But I want to have children; it’s what I’m meant to do.” “There are other alternatives to having a child naturally; you really don’t have a choice in this.” My last question what when do I have to decide, her response, “You can wait a day or two, but no longer than that.”

So many thoughts ran through my mind. I spent several sleepless nights and days, avoiding the doctor’s phone calls. When they finally caught up with me I felt I had no choice but to agree. Agree to a removal of my ovaries and only fallopian tube, but I demanded that they leave my uterus. “At least I’ll have a chance for IVF with a donor egg,” I thought. My surgeon would not promise to leave my uterus. The growths were all over the back of my uterus and the only way to be safe was to have a complete hysterectomy. A date was finally set for the end of January to have the surgery. I went through the process of telling my family and friends. I spent the months up to the surgery seeing specialist after specialist. At one point, I begged a fertility specialist to just remove my ovaries and freeze them until technology caught up and they could be sliced open and the eggs harvested. They said it wasn’t possible.

Time didn’t fly, but then it was January, and I was in surgery. Total and complete hysterectomy. Instantaneous menopause at 35. The next few days were a blur as I tried to recover physically, alone in a hospital that I hated (another story for another time) with no one to talk to. A bad ice and snow storm had come during my surgery and the roads were very treacherous and no one wanted to be on them. I remember lying in the hospital bed, sweating profusely and crying at the least little thing.

There have been lots of tears since the surgery and way more hot flashes. It has taken me this long to be able to be around babies without breaking down into hysterical crying. At the time that I was losing my fertility, everyone around me was becoming more fertile. Several friends and co-workers became pregnant or had spouses who did and every place I went had at least one pregnant woman or newborn baby. I spent the first year just trying to stay alive every day. The second year was spent trying to figure out what to do next.

I will never understand why my fertility was taken from me. Nor will I understand why my dreams had to die that way. But it is time to find a new dream, time to find a reason to keep going. Maybe someday…

Blessings,
~*~

Change is good, right?

I need a change, a big change. I've already made a small one. I'm coming back to this blog. I won't be posting on the other one for a while, if at all. I won't delete it. At least, not right now, but there may come a time when I decide to delete it.

I'm feeling a lot of things lately and none of them are good. I've been thinking about a lot of things that I would like to change in my life. My current living situation is fine, it just isn't what I really want. I have a nice small house with a nice yard, but I can't really spend much time in the yard because of the neighbors. I don't remember if I have posted about my neighbor troubles, but long story short... we just don't get along. They are constantly harassing me and I just can't take it any more. I feel trapped when I come home. I feel like I can't really live.

What I have always dreamed of, is a big old farmhouse in the country, surrounded by lots and lots of land. A few weeks ago, after the latest harassment, I started looking for houses. I have decided that if I chose to move again, it will only be to the type of home I really want. I have been in this house for two years. I live only five minutes from work and to find the type of home I want, I'll probably end up at least 45 minutes to an hour from work.

Anyway, while searching around, just to see what was out there, I found it. I found exactly what I have always wanted. The house was built in 1828 and it has been restored and is surrounded by 68 acres of land. Yes, I said sixty eight acres. It is beautiful! I haven't been to see it yet. If I decide to go, I'll have to contact a realtor because it is over the state line. It is also one hour and fifteen minutes from where I currently live.

I don't think the asking price is too much. For the amount of lad and the home it seems reasonable. The only problem is that I don't have the asking price.

I feel drawn to this home, to this location. I don't know how to explain it. I need to figure out what to do, if I should even try to get financing for it. I know I would have to go see it before I made a real decision. Maybe I should start saving my pennies and investigate a way to finance it. One of my co-workers said I need to come up with a job that I can do from home, so that I wouldn't have to commute. It's a good idea. I just wouldn't know where to begin.

Well, enough about my rambling wishes and dreams. Let's talk about knitting. :-)

I finally finished the Iceland Felted Purse. It turned out a little smaller than I was thinking I would want it, but that is my fault for not paying close attention during felting.

Isn't it cute? I like it. I'll start using it as soon as it gets cooler.

Well, I'm off to heat up some dinner and do some crafting. I have a sodalite anklet that broke and I have some ideas on how to fix it and turn it into a necklace. So, I'm going to play with that after dinner.

If anyone has any suggestions for me about making my living arrangement change happen, let me know. I'd appreciate any help. Oh, and if anyone out there feels like giving away $300,000 I'll be happy to take it. I promise to put it to good use! :-)

Blessings,
~*~

Knitting madness...

So, here I am on my couch, watching a movie and knitting madly along on my afghan. Sounds great, right? I am on the fourth section of the first panel and am thrilled. Until...I take another look at the pattern and realize that I have knit the wrong pattern in section two and in section four. I have the colors correct, just not the patterns. I'm so ill! I ended up putting it away and am waiting until knit night on Tuesday to see what they suggest. I really don't want to start over.

So, since I couldn't knit the rest of the afternoon, I decided to check out Ravelry! I had received my invitation earlier in the week, but hadn't had a chance to get online. I LOVE IT! It is very cool! My Ravelry ID for anyone might want to add me is Spiritwitch. Big surprise, right? :-)

Anyway, I'm getting ready to watch the Steelers game (for as long as I can stay awake) and surf some more. I should probably have something for dinner though. Oh and I watched a crappy movie this afternoon on SciFi. The Gravedancers is horrible! I can't believe I watched the whole thing! I love Dominic Purcell (one of the reasons I watched it) and the cemetery scenes were filmed in a my favorite local cemetery. I used to take walks through there because I worked near by. I still work close by but it is not as easy to get to so I don't get there very often. It was weird being able to recognize a lot of the places in the movie.

Speaking of movies, last night I saw The Guardian. It is a must see movie. It was fabulous! I'm not a big fan of either Ashton Kutcher or Kevin Costner, but I thought they both did a great job.

Well, I'm off. Going to try to get some dinner before kickoff and also flip back and forth to the Food Network Challenge (they are doing Halloween cakes!).

Blessings,
~*~

Back to blogging...

Hopefully, now that I have my blog back in reasonable shape, I'll be back to blogging on a more regular basis. I'm at home today with a cold and have worked on getting my blog fixed. Now I'm watching the first season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and laundry. I'm washing the felted purse again as I didn't like how it turned out from the first washing. I don't think it was tight enough. When I get it finished I'll post a picture.

We had rain yesterday and today. Yesterday it was mostly light sprinkling, but today we had lots of downpours. I don't know how much rain we actually received, but I swear I can hear the trees and flowers sighing in joy. I wish we could get more. I hope for more...

I'm slowly making my way through the never-ending afghan. I'm almost done with the third of four blocks in the first panel. I'll be so happy when the first panel is done.

Oh, and I am so hooked on LA Ink. Kat Von D and her crew are awesome artists. I would so love to get a tattoo from anyone in that shop. I've also been checking out Moon's new tattoos. I'm so wanting to get another tattoo. I'll have to check around and see if I can find a good place to go and get one. :-)

Well, I'm off to enjoy Buffy and scrounge up something to eat and surf the web.

Blessings,
~*~

blogging frustrations

Ugh! I've been trying to update this blog and make some adjustments to the template for a week and the darn thing keeps freaking out! Every time I make a change on the template everything gets moved to one side. Urg!!! I'm going to have to begin again... from scratch I guess. I don't know when I'll get to do it. Lots going on this weekend.

Anyway, I'm still alive and am hoping to get back to blog posting soon.
Blessings

~*~

Knitting

I have some photos of my knitting to share. I haven't been doing alot of knitting but some as I can. I finally felted the Iceland Felted Bag that I finished knitting months ago. I found a whole or two in the seams on the side and need to patch them up and then I think I'll felt it some more. It isn't quite as tight as I'd like.

Next, I have a photo of the scarf I made to give a friend for her birthday. I only have the progress photo as I was down to the wire to get it finished in time for her birthday and forgot to take a picture of the finished scarf. I like the colors and have enough yarn left that I could make another one. I probably will make one for me. :-)

I'm also back to work on the never ending Sampler Afghan. I haven't made much progress, but I'm slowly working on it. I've been wanting to knit the Tahoe sweater from Knitty since it came out, but now that I'm losing weight, I don't want to knit something that might would not fit by the time I was done. Anyway, I'll close with the picture of the Sampler Afghan.

That is the second block of the first panel. I think I'm about halfway finished with this block. And that is the progress of my knitting.

Blessings,

~*~

Quiz

I saw this quiz on Blogickal and decided it looked interesting...

p>


You're Ulysses!

by James Joyce

Most people are convinced that you don't make any sense, but compared
to what else you could say, what you're saying now makes tons of sense. What people do
understand about you is your vulgarity, which has convinced people that you are at once
brilliant and repugnant. Meanwhile you are content to wander around aimlessly, taking in
the sights and sounds of the city. What you see is vast, almost limitless, and brings you
additional fame. When no one is looking, you dream of being a Greek folk hero.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Rough week...

Last week was a very difficult time for me and my family. My Grandmother passed on a week ago Saturday. One week ago we buried her. It was harder than I thought it would be. I am happy for her that she is out of pain now and she is in a better place. But I really miss her.

On top of that, I had an uncle pass on Friday. I loved this uncle very much and love that part of my family, but I just couldn't take another funeral right now. Not to mention it was over 8 hours from where I live and I would have missed another day of work.

Thursday night at the football game turned out to be a nightmare. I never should have gone and as I was leaving my house my intuition told me not to go, but I didn't listen. I went despite every instinct I have telling me not to, and I have really regretted it. I will listen to my instincts from now on.

I haven't really felt like blogging. I haven't had much to say. I've missed so much work last week and I am so behind that I'm going to have to do some work from home today.

I know this post is really scattered and I'm sorry, I'm just typing as it comes to me.

I did finish the scarf I was working on as a gift for a friend. Today is laundry, cleaning and bill paying day. I start back swimming and work tomorrow morning.

Well, I'd better get started. Unlike Mrs. Weasley, I can't make the laundry and cleaning do themselves! :-)

Blessings,
~*~

Can you say...football?

I can! Yes, folks, it is that time of year... football is starting up and I'm thrilled. I'm leaving in 30 minutes to go see the Steelers take on the Panthers. I haven't seen a Steelers game in person in almost 30 years. (Wow, I'm old!)

Go Steelers!


Blessings,
~*~

Tarot Card

I saw this quiz on Rilana's Blog and thought it looked fun...

You are The Magician

Skill, wisdom, adaptation. Craft, cunning, depending on dignity.

Eleoquent and charismatic both verbally and in writing,
you are clever, witty, inventive and persuasive.

The Magician is the male power of creation, creation by willpower and desire. In that ancient sense, it is the ability to make things so just by speaking them aloud. Reflecting this is the fact that the Magician is represented by Mercury. He represents the gift of tongues, a smooth talker, a salesman. Also clever with the slight of hand and a medicine man - either a real doctor or someone trying to sell you snake oil.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I suggest...

I've seen two movies today. After a full morning of exercise, including 1 1/2 hours of swimming and then yard mowing and weeding, I went to see The Bourne Ultimatum. What a thriller! It was fabulous! I love all three movies and will have to get them all on DVD so I can watch them again. :-)

When I came home my Netflix video was waiting for me.



I highly recommend Premonition. I love Sandra Bullock. I have always liked her movies. I hadn't really heard much about it and wasn't sure what to expect. I really loved it. :-)

So, two good movies today and a great swim this morning. Yay...

Blessings,
~*~

Mabon, anyone?

I'm sorry I missed wishing everyone a Happy Lughnasadh. I hope you had a great day!

Now I'm ready for Mabon! I'm sick to death of the heat and want to feel the cool fall air in the mornings. I LOVE fall! I think I love it almost as much as I do winter. I don't know about you all, but I'm ready for the change.

What say you? Shall we wish for an early fall?

Blessings,
~*~

Eye Candy Friday...

I want to go back there... I miss the blue of the ocean, the white sands... I really miss it.

They're here!

I'm so excited! I found them on my doorstep when I arrived home from work. I'll be starting them tonight. I can't wait to go through the whole thing. It will be interesting to see how long it takes me to get through all 7 books.

Anyway, tonight I begin!

Blessings,
~*~

I've done it!

I've finished it! I started yesterday morning around 10 and finished the book this morning at 2.



There will be no spoilers here. Just this comment: Absolutely LOVED IT!!!!!!


On Friday afternoon, I went to see Order of the Phoenix. Same comment applies! :-)

Blessings,
~*~

Eye Candy Friday

So much to say...

I have so many things on my mind lately. When I sit down to post on my blogs, I do not know where to begin. I haven't been blogging much due to health issues, work, spirit, just too much "stuff". There is so much I want to say, so much I NEED to say. But there is no one to listen. The one person I could talk to about anything, that I felt closest to, blew me off after the New Orleans fiasco. I've tried talking to my mum, whom I'm pretty close to, but she listens with only half an ear and usually doesn't understand the things I'm talking about anyway.

I've contemplated writing it out here. I am not certain, however, how much I should share in the blog world. So here is a question for those who read this blog. How much should be shared? How much do you share on your blog? Is it all or nothing, or just bits and pieces.

Maybe your responses will help me figure out where to start... or even if I should.

Blessings,
~*~

Eye Candy Friday

Summer Solstice

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day. The summer solstice is a beautiful day. It always makes me a little sad and a little happy. I'm sad because I know that the days will start to get shorter and the growing season will start is soon to be over, but I'm happy because the cold is my favorite. I look forward to the winter and the chill in the air and snow on the ground (if I'm really lucky where I live!).

So enjoy the summer solstice, the longest day of the year and remember the Oak King.

Blessings,
~*~

Random things...

I finished the first panel in my afghan and started on the second last night. I'm very excited to be working in a different colorway now. I'll post a picture when I get a chance to take one.

I also finished reading "The Moon Under Her Feet" by Clysta Kinstler. It was an okay read. I read it for my book club which meets tonight. I am so proud that I have finished a book before the meeting! :-)

Tomorrow is Solstice and we are moving my Grandmother so I'm not sure what my day will hold as far as being able to do ritual. There is a solstice gathering in a park near my house, but I do not know if I will get to go.

I'm also participating in a Solstice group ritual this weekend. I'm re-dedicating myself and am looking forward to the ceremony.

I just wanted to post a little to say hello and let you know I'm still around.

Blessings,
~*~

Eye Candy Friday

Dreaming

I am exhausted. I am physically, mentally and spiritually exhausted. But, I do not know why.

Every since New Orleans, I dream. I have always been a big dreamer, but now I dream all the time. Every time I wake up at night, I am waking from a dream. I feel like I have had no sleep at all. Seriously, my brain just will not shut down and rest.

I know I'm supposed to be learning something from these dreams, but they all seem so random. I went to bed last night at 9. I woke during the night at the very least, 5 times, but more than like, more that that. I could barely drag myself out of bed this morning when the alarm went off at 6.

Does anyone else have this problem, or something similar? Or maybe a suggestion as to what to do? Drugs to make me sleep are out of the question. I'm tried meditation before bed and it just seems to make me dream more. I know that the lave tet that I had in New Orleans opened me up psychically and spiritually, I just didn't realize it would be this open! :-)

Blessings,
~*~

Eye Candy Friday and New Orleans trip

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. It has been a long couple of weeks and I haven't had much to say. My trip to New Orleans was interesting and created some changes in my life. From a spiritual side of things, big changes came about as a result of my trip. There is so much that happened, I'm not sure what to say.

A lot of it should probably be kept to myself, but what I will say is that my life is different now. I'm back to being pretty much solitary. While I thought that the trip would reinforce my friendships with those I went with, it turns out that it pretty much ended them. One friendship in particular was "put on hold" although it feels more like it was ended than anything else. One thing I learned from this trip is that people really are not always what they seem.

So, enough of the moping, and on to the pictures. I will say, if you ever have an opportunity to go to New Orleans, you should take it. I'm glad I went and wouldn't change that for anything, even if I would change the way it ended.

Above is a photo of Bourbon St. Below is a gate that is an entrance to Jackson Square. I really liked the gate and thought I should take a photo.


Here we have a photo of a guardian on top of the New Orleans Museum of Art. I thought it was pretty cool.


Right above we have a photo that I took in St. Louis Cemetery #1. I loved the tombs and the intricate detail on them and the gates surrounding them. And below is the tomb of Mam'zelle Marie Laveau.

And last we have a picture of the French Quarter and leftover remnants from Mardi Gras.



Well, I have many more pictures, but I'll save them for later. I'm going with any of the above pictures as my Eye Candy Friday post.

Did anyone do anything special for the Blue Moon last night? I did a ritual and spell that I think went pretty well. I certainly felt better during and after the ritual.

I'm off for now. I'll try to post more later.

Blessings,
~*~

Eye Candy Friday

My first Rhododendron bloom. I love the color. Maybe next year I'll have more.

I am about 24 hours away from leaving for New Orleans. I am unbelievable excited! There is still so much to do, but I feel confident I can get it done and be ready to go. I hope I can sleep tonight. Usually when I'm going on big trips, I don't sleep the night before I leave. I better sleep tonight. :-)

I still have not gotten a picture of my knitting progress. I hope to do that tonight. I am planning on taking my knitting with me for while I'm riding in the car. I have a small flashlight I can use to see while we ride. Gosh, I can't believe I'm going to New Orleans!

I am also taking my camera so I hope to bring back lots of pictures to share.

Well, I can't think of anything else to say so I'll say bye for now.

Blessings,
~*~

Only 4 days left....

....before I head to New Orleans! I'm so excited! I found my white skirt and shirt that I need for the lave tet. I also found the coolest little dress for walking around NOLA. My friend that is there already says it is HOT. The dress I got today isn't really something I would normally wear out of the house without a sweater over it, but my whole goal of this trip is to do something I wouldn't normally do and to maybe come back a little different than I am now. So, I have a cute green sundress to wear. Yippee!

I have so much left to do and yet it seems to be getting closer and closer. I hope I get it all done and can get a good night's sleep the night before we leave. Usually when I am going on a trip, I am unable to sleep the night before I leave. That would be bad in this case as we are driving!

Gosh, I am so excited I can barely contain myself. I do have knitting class tonight and tomorrow is book club, which I am probably going to skip out on. Tomorrow at lunch I have to shop for shoes and a new bra ( I know... TMI!).

Oh well, I hope to get some pictures tonight of my current knitting project. If I can get it done I'll post a photo so you can see what I'm working on. I still haven't felted that bag I made a month ago. I will make that a priority when I return from NOLA.

Blessings,
~*~

Eye Candy Friday...

A view of the lake where I fish, taken from the deck of my dad's house. I think it is lovely.

Blessings,
~*~

New Orleans

Ever since I was a little girl, I have wanted to go to New Orleans. I have wanted to see the swamps in Louisiana, I have wanted to walk through the garden district. As I have gotten older I've added a few things to my list for New Orleans. I want see where Anne Rice lived, I want to visit a real hoodoo shop and see Marie Laveau's grave.

Well, in 10 days, I'll be on my way to do all those things, and a whole lot more. :-)

I've been invited on a trip to New Orleans. We will leave on Saturday, the 19th, and return on the 23rd (which happens to be my birthday). Not only do I get to do all the things listed above, I also get to meet attend a serious vodou ceremony. I am so excited. My friends and I are planning to take lots of pictures and I hope to have some good ones to post later.

I've been giving the vodou thing a lot of thought. I truly enjoy the ceremony and learning about the religion and I think I will continue to be a "believer", but in my heart... I'm a witch. I always have been and always will be. When talking to our Manbo, a friend and I asked if it is possible to be both, vodou and witch, and she laughed and said, sure... you're a vodou witch!

I'm not sure just how much I'm allowed to talk about in regards to the vodou and the things that happen. I don't want to say more than I'm supposed to, so I'll stop now.

Anyway, just wanted to give a little update on what is going on with me. I appreciate all the support from you guys about Jade. It has been very strange not having her around and now a strange black cat has shown up outside my house twice in the last few days. Jade used to lay in the windows, she would switch her window throughout the day, almost like she was guarding the house. Now this other cat has shown up. It won't come near me and I've only seen it at night (I say it because I don't know if it is a male or female) so the situation is a little weird.

On Saturday morning, my father had a cyst removed from his spinal column. I spent the entire day at the hospital with my stepmother. She was very worried, but he came through fine.

So, anyway, this is what I've been up to... planning a trip and helping my dad and dealing with the loss of Jade. I've also been working in my yard a little. Tomorrow I get my vegetable plants and get them in the ground.

Blessings,
~*~

She's gone...

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. I have been so busy and also trying to care for my cat, Jade. Over the past few days she became increasingly worse and this morning I had to take her to the vet and have her put to sleep. She was in a lot of pain and was unable to eat and had trouble breathing. The sneezing blood had increased and it was just time to let her go.

I have not handled this well at all. I never thought she would be the first of my brood to leave me. Jade was my witch cat, my familiar. She left this earth one day after Beltane, on the day of the Full Moon, the Witches' Moon.

Her ashes will be returned to me either Friday or Monday. I am planning to put her ashes, along with a picture of her, on my ancestors altar.


You can see in this photo, taken this morning, that she doesn't look well. She seemed to be in so much pain. The doctor was very sweet and very caring and they let me be with her as she passed. I was the last thing she saw. She went very peacefully, as I loved on her.

Well, I think that is all I can say right now. I'll try to get back to regular posting soon.

Blessings,
~*~

Eye Candy Friday...

This photo is about a month old. It just seems so cheerful. I need something cheerful right now.

Blessings,
~*~

Kitty update

It seems that my beautiful sweet Jade (who by the way is 14 not 12) has a tumor in her nasal cavity that is eating away at the bones. Right now there is nothing I can do. I am giving her an antibiotic and she is on pain medication. We are waiting until Monday for the Radiologist to read the x-ray to be certain that is what is wrong. Once it is confirmed I'll have a decision to make. I don't know what that will be.

Blessings,
~*~


(cross-posted on my other blog)

Healing thoughts needed

Please keep my sweet kitty Jade in your thoughts. When I went to feed her this morning she was on the washer (her favorite place) and it was covered in blood and she had blood running out her nose. She has been sneezing up blood and there is also blood coming out of her ear. I had to leave her at the vet this morning and I have no idea what is wrong or what will come of it. I'm anxiously awaiting news.


Please send healing energies to her. She is a sweet 12 year old.

Thanks
Blessings,
~*~


(cross-posted on my other blog)

Eye Candy Friday (late) and new knitting project

I moved my ECF from my other blog to this one. I'm not really sure why...I just felt like it. So here is my ECF post that I should have posted yesterday. :-)


I've also found a new knitting project. It is the Plymouthy Yarns Galway Sampler Afghan. I'm doing it in cream, tan, sage green and dark green. I hope it will look good. It took me forever to decide on the colors. I kept trying to put purple in it and the ladies in my knitting class were horrified! So here is a picture but the colors don't look right for some reason. :-)

I spent the day in the yard today. I've cleaned my herb bed out and worked on getting my vegetable patch ready to be tilled. I just have to pull up my fence and then I can till! Yay!

Blessings,
~*~

Speechless

I have been wanting to post something about the Virginia Tech incident since it happened. I have tried several times to write a post that says something profound or moving. The words just won't come.

I am horrified and speechless at what happened at Va. Tech. I hope that the students and parents, faculty and staff know that we are all thinking of them in this tragedy. We wish them safety, love and healing.

In Love and Light,

Blessings,
~*~

Progress on the purse...

I don't have any photos but I've made a lot of progress on my purse. I have finished all the knitting and now just have to sew it up and felt it. I'm looking forward to finishing it and seeing how it turns out. I promise to post photos of the finished project.

I'm watching the clouds come in. It seems the weather people are calling for snow tonight and tomorrow morning. I'm taking a walking tour of a local cemetery tomorrow and I expect it is going to be cold. It would make it so interesting if there was snow on the ground during it.

I think I'll take some photos of the sky now. It is very pretty.

Blessings,
~*~

Confusion

How do you start something that you are not sure you can finish? How do you know if it is the right thing to do? I've been in a state of confusion for several days now. I don't know how to escape it...

Knitting progress photos...

As promised, here are a few knitting progress photos. I actually have made more progress since I took the pictures. I am now up to the point where I finish the trim on the other side and then knit the handle and sew everything up.

(If you look real close on the above photo you can spot my mistake where I messed up a row and got the stitches twisted somehow. I decided since it is going to be felted, I wasn't going to pull it out and start again.)

Our class isn't meeting this coming week because the teacher is on holiday so I'm sure I'll be completely done before our next class. :-) In the light, the main color looks navy to me, but it is actually black. I really hope it turns out well.

Here is a closeup:
So, there you have it. I hope to be able to post pictures of the completed project in the next week.

Well, I'm off to do more research for a spell I need. I've got to find just the right combination to help with this petition and then make certain I have all the ingredients.

Blessings,
~*~

Somethings brewing in the cauldron...

I'm sorry I haven't posted much lately. There is a lot going on and I've been very busy. I do have some knitting progress photos of the Iceland Felted bag that I can post and hopefully will do so either later tonight or tomorrow. Posts will probably continue to be sporadic right now as there is something big brewing in my cauldron... :-)

Don't ya just love a teaser! Seriously, there is something in the works which could be life changing for me and as soon as I'm comfortable enough to talk about it without worrying I'll jinx it, I'll let you in on the secret. All I can say at this point is that it is a very good thing and please send me lots of good luck energy!

Alright, I'm off to a vodou group meeting. I promise to post knitting pictures soon.

Blessings,
~*~

Happy Ostara

I wish you all a blessed Ostara and a happy spring. May the seeds you plant grow into abundant beauty.




Blessings,
~*~

Getting nervous...

I'm nervous. I'm getting ready to attend my first voodoo ceremony. I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to talk about it with people outside the group, but I'll try to find out. I should at least be able to tell my reactions and feelings. I'm sure it is verboten to speak about the actual ceremony details. But I'll ask and if I can, I'll share.

I'm not sure if this is the path that I am supposed to follow but I think it is at least one I should try right now. It may turn out to be nothing but it could turn out to be something and I'd hate to miss out on something. :-)

For those that read both my blogs, I'm still unable to post on the other one. I tried to post my Saturday Sky photo earlier and am still getting errors. I'm seriously considering moving from blogger to something else. If this keeps up another few days, I'll be looking else where.

Well, time to get ready. Need to change clothes and gather my offerings to take.

Blessings,

~*~

Posts and frustrations...

I tried to post at my other blog, but blogger is giving me fits! For the past few months I've had to use word verification to post to my blog because somehow it was marked as sp*m. Today however, I can't post at all. It won't take the word verification and won't give me another one to try. Urgh!

I guess I'm posting this here because I'm just very frustrated and need to vent. I know that isn't what this blog is for, but...there it is. :-)

Blessings,
~*~

New Knitting Project

I have found my next knitting project. It is a Iceland Felted Bag. Here's a picture of the yarns and pattern that I will be working on. It wasn't my first choice and wasn't even my second choice, but at least it is a project.

Anyway, I hope it will turn out okay. I haven't started it yet, but really want to soon. Class doesn't start back until next Tuesday and I'd like to get a start on it before class. We shall see.

This weekend was interesting in the occult genre. Friday night I had to help a friend cleanse a room in her house. There was some sort of energy there that was seriously creeping out her two sons. It seemed better when I left and when I talked to her the next night she said it was much better. It was nice being able to help her in the cleansing. It felt pretty good to use that side of myself.

Saturday night I went to the second meeting of a women's group, but did not have a good time. I'm not sure exactly what caused my issues, but I could not stay in a good mood. I can't quite put my finger on it, I don't know if I was just tired or if there was someone sending out bad energy. There was a presence that was there and was very distracting. For some reason I couldn't block it out, when usually I can. I don't know... I haven't been able to block much of anything lately. It is causing me serious migraines and a lot of lost sleep. This coming weekend I'll be participating in my first voodoo ceremony. I'm excited but am also very nervous and intimidated.

Blessings,
~*~

Exciting new projects

So, I have some new things going on that I think are pretty neat. I have decided on my next knitting project and am looking forward to starting that. I'm going to get yarn this afternoon!

Earlier this week I signed up for a hoodoo class and am really looking forward to doing it. Part of the agreement to take the class is that I can't share materials from the class with anyone, so you won't see me post those things here. But I will probably talk about my reactions to the things I'm learning. One of my friends told me she was taking it and when I read about it from the website I was thrilled. It sounds like just what I've been looking for. I told a mutual friend and now we are all three taking the class. Woo hoo!

So, things are very busy and picking up steam. I'll try to post when I can and when I feel it relates to either knitting or my spirituality.

Enjoy the full moon tomorrow!
Blessings,
~*~

Finished Baby Sweater

Ta Da!!!


My first non scarf knitting project... for more photos and gushing by me click here.

But I'll ask the same question here that I asked there...any suggestions for what I should knit next?

Blessings,
~*~

I've finished!

(Kind of cross-posted on my other blog)

I've finished my baby sweater! I'm so excited and happy with it. I found a few "flaws" but they aren't very noticeable unless you are looking for them. Besides...it is my first sweater ever!
Yay!!!

Time for bed...pictures to follow tomorrow.

Blessings,
~*~

Magick on vacation

During my vacation last week I took many pictures. Because of the glare from the sun I usually couldn't see the lcd screen on my camera to tell what the picture would look like. I was amazed by how well most of my pictures came out. Going through the over 250 pictures that I took, there was one photo that was just seemed magical to me. It is a picture I took while walking on the beach. I think this is my favorite photo.


Blessings,

~*~

I'm headed to Cancun...

...so I won't be posting for at least a week. I am taking my tarot cards and my little spell book with me and plan to try to do a reading a day to help with my understanding of the cards.

I'll have pictures when I get back and will post them as soon as I'm able. I need to try to head the bed as I have to be up in four hours to catch my flight. I've also decided not to take my knitting as I just don't want anything to happen to it. I may change my mind though... :-)

Blessings,

~*~

Knitting news and packing... (cross posted)

I finally have knitting pictures to post! Yay! I know I kept saying I would post them but things have been so crazy I just haven't had a chance to get a picture. So, here it is... a few pictures on the progress of my raglan top down baby sweater.

To the left you can see a full shot from the front. I can't tell you how happy I am to be working on the last section. I have joined the fronts, sleeves and back and am just working my way down to the bottom. It is all seed stitch from here except for ribbing the last two rows. :-)


(Wow! I'm so happy to actually know what seed stitch and ribbing mean!)


To the right we have a closer photo of one of the sleeves. I think this sweater is just so adorable and I love, absolutely love, the yarn colors. I can't wait to finish it and be able to give it to my friend for her baby girl. It is sized for a one year old so she may not be able to use it for a little while, but I don't think I'll be able to wait to give it to her. :-)


In other news, I found my passport! Yay! This is a very good thing, because I leave for Cancun on Saturday! Yes, I'm going back to Cancun! Wooo Hooo! I'm slowly working my way down the list of things I have to get done before I leave on Saturday and finding my passport was top of the list! I still have a ton of things to do and am not convinced it will all get done, but I'm working on it. I suppose I will have NO sleep the night before we fly out. Won't that be fun!

I'm sitting here getting ready for the UNC vs Duke game and am really hoping that UNC will play today. I was very disappointed in them on Saturday against NC State. They really should have played better. Only 15 minutes before the game. Yay! Go Heels!!

I almost forgot one other piece of news. I cut my hair. (Lana, I swear I'm not copying you!) I have had nothing but problems since I had it permed last July and I just couldn't take it anymore. When it takes 30 minutes just to comb out the tangles, that is just too much work. It is a little shorter than I wanted, but it will grow back. :-)

Here are the before and after pictures...




















Alrighty...I have to start paying attention to the game now... the fights are starting up...
GO HEELS!
Blessings,

~*~

Big Circles or small circles...

This past Friday night, Imbolc and the full moon, I went to a women's spirituality circle. I was very hesitant at first because I am not good with large crowds and also because in the past group work was just not something that worked for me. I much prefer doing my rituals and celebrations as a solitary or with a few select friends. But, I'm trying to learn new things, and expand my comfort zone.

I had heard there were to be about 50 people at the group. 50 women. That in and of itself scared me. I don't mean this to be offensive, but when I think of a group of 50 women all in one room I think of chickens in a hen house cackling around. I was very worried that the sacred space aspect would get lost in the chance to gossip.

When I got to the shop, there were just a few people and I waited along with everyone else to go to the space they had reserved for circle. It was a long wait. Apparently they were not ready on time and then everyone had to walk a block to get to it. I have serious social anxiety disorders and this was not working well at all. After getting to the space for the circle, we had to wait in a line so that as we went in we could be smudged and cleansed. It seemed to take forever to get through that line. I had purposefully made myself wait until the end of the line so that I could be near the door in case the claustrophobia kicked in. There was another lady who suffered from the same thing and she kept getting out of line and getting behind me so she could be last. The area that we were using is used by therapists during the day and we were supposed to remain quiet while we waited to go in so as not to disturb the other people that worked there. I can't tell you how loud people were. It was as if each little group had to compete to see who could be louder. It was very annoying.

The circle ritual itself was nice. The organizers had arranged several altars that you could visit and had also setup several activities. The first part of the ritual consisted of an introduction as to what the group was about, why it had been setup and the each of us stated our name and said anything that we felt like sharing. After a short break we had our activities which included some questions that were written on scrolls and would be buried later (part of the Imbolc ritual). The questions were very well done and provoked quite a bit of thought and emotion from the attendees. Several people became emotional and even cried a bit. Overall I was impressed by the group meeting. I was not sure how I would like this format, but I think it went well and was well received by everyone in attendance.

Other than a few little things, like making sure everyone understands the meaning of sacred space and respecting that space, it was an interesting event. I'm even considering going next month.

Blessed Imbolc

Happy and Blessed Imbolc to all the pagans!

Tonight I am going to a circle gathering to celebrate Imbolc. It is a new group that is starting and tonight is the first meeting. I'm a little nervous as I am a mostly solitary witch. I have worked with groups before and had horrible issues within the groups which led me to practice as a solitary. I have enjoyed working as a group with a few friends that I have. We aren't an official coven, but we work together sometimes and occasionally will call on the "phone tree" for help with something. (Can anyone tell me what that reference is from?)

Anyway, I'll try to post something this weekend with my reaction to this event and my thoughts about it. From what I've heard they are expecting somewhere around 50 people (all women) and I'm just not sure I am up for that. I fully intend to stay by the door in case the claustrophobia or SAD kicks in.

So, Happy Imbolc to you.

Blessings

~*~

A Spell For Snow

I have been using this little chant/spell for a few years now and have had some nice success with it. Of course, I mostly use it when conditions are right for snow, but it isn't falling. I run this chant through my head as I go about other stuff.


A Spell for Snow

Let the temperature drop,
let the clouds roll in
let the moisture build
let the snow begin.


Blessings,

~*~

The Witch is ... In!

After long consideration, I've decided to start posting to this blog again. I missed being here. I still have the other blog and will post there more than here probably. My goal is to have this blog become what I always intended it to be... a place for expression of my inner witch. I plan to use this blog to explore more of my craft and will post rituals, spells and who knows what else.

As I stated on my other blog, if you come across this blog and know me in real life...remember the rule of three.

1. You can read it, but you can't hold anything you find there or here against me.

2. What you read there or here may or may not be about you, so get over it. (I never use real names, except my own (and those of my pets) and any initials I use, aren't the actual initials of the people I've written about.)

and last but not least...

3. Don't piss off the Witch!

Blessings,
~*~

Change is in the air...

I've decided to change my blog. I'm just not happy with the way this one is going. It just doesn't seem to be what I want it to be. With that in mind, I'm changing blogs. I have started a new blog that I will post to on a regular basis. I may or may not continue to post here on SpiritWitch. Maybe if I can focus on the theme for it, the way I originally wanted, I will post here, but from now on you can find me at Laura and her favorite things.

Hope to see you there.
Blessings,
~*~