Do you ever feel lost for words, desperate to be able to express yourself to someone, anyone and not have the ability to put words together that will let them understand what it is you are feeling...thinking?
What about when you find a song that says it all for you? Do you feel better knowing that someone else in the world must be feeling the way you do and you aren't alone, how else could the words to the song be so perfect? Or do you feel somehow less, because you couldn't put the words together right, but they did?
I find for me it is mostly joy at knowing that somehow, I can get across what I'm thinking and feeling. Even if I didn't write the words, the resonate so deeply that they are more perfect than anything I could have said.
This song is breaking my heart right now...
I listen to it over and over and can't stop the tears that fall. I wonder sometimes if I disappeared, if anyone would even notice. I am not important here. I make no impact on the world around me, the people that I interact with each day. In fact, lately, I've barely interacted with anyone. Most of the time, I have my headphones in, listening to my iPod. I never go anywhere without it. At work, it keeps me from hearing the joking and laughing at my expense usually and keeps me from having to make polite conversation with people that I'd rather not even be near.
At home, well, I don't know why I keep them in at home. There is no else here to avoid. I just want to hear the music, maybe it keeps my own thoughts buried.