Monday, December 31, 2007
This year I wish for a new home. I wish for THE new home. I wish for organization, I wish for creativity and the time to use it. I wish for strength to accomplish the big goals and the small goals. I wish for friends and I wish for peace. I wish for happiness for myself and everyone.
Here is to one more wish, I wish a Happy New Year to all!
Saturday, December 29, 2007
I have sat on the sofa and watched movies for days. Every day that I did nothing, I felt what little energy I had was draining away. I've slept very late every day and have napped as well. I have not knitted one single stitch and my house is a regular disaster. I hate this time of year. I always get like this right between Christmas and New Years. I was finally able to get moving a little today. I slept late but had to be at the vet by noon to pick up more medicine for the beastie, so I got up around 9, took a shower and headed out. I stopped for gas, picked up the medication at the vet and then went to the grocery. When I returned home I was able to keep going and cleaned most of the kitchen, cleaned the litter boxes, swept the floors, did several loads of laundry and worked on cleaning up my bedroom. It had become the storage room when I cleaned out the computer room and hall. I made a little headway, but there is still a way to go. I hope to have the energy to work on it tomorrow.
I'm already dreading going back to work. I don't have to return until Wednesday, but there is some work I have to do remotely before then. I am determined to go back with a better attitude and to keep my mouth shut about things. There is so much there that bothers me, but there is really nothing I can do about it and I can't afford to get fired, so, zip it! :-)
I've been thinking more and more about "the property". I still have my treasure map of it and have a candle that burns for it every day. I've also been working with Saint Expedite to bring it to me quickly. I still love that place and want to live there. But sometimes, I feel that I should just make the best of things here. Maybe I should put up my fence to block out the neighbors and just work as best I can here. I don't know any more. The thought of all that peace and quiet, of all the land that would be mine. It just makes me smile and makes me feel at ease. I'm so tense here all the time. But am I making myself tense?
Oh well, enough of my rambles. I'm going to finish watching Baby Boom (a top five favorite of mine) and then who knows... maybe I'll work on the afghan, or start my second pair of socks.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
The Bourne Ultimatum DVD
Supernatural Season 1 DVD
Charmed the Final Season DVD
NCIS Season 4 DVD
Sarah McLachlan's Wintersong cd
an LL Bean barn coat in blue
a pair of shoes
Euphoria perfume gift set
several pairs of travel socks
Naturewood pattern Butter Dish and Square Baking dish
a gift certificate for a mani/pedi
the Oceans' DVD 3 pack
a gift certificate to Amazon.com
a gift certificate to a local shopping center
a Steelers tree skirt
and a lot of cash
Wow, that is a lot of stuff. :-)
I hope everyone had a great holiday weekend and that Santa brought you everything you wanted!
Semi good news in the doggie department. No cancer in the spleen, but there is some sort of infection in the small intestine that seems to be causing a lot of weight loss. I have to take him in tomorrow in order to get his weight checked and also an exam. They are saying that if he doesn't start to gain weight within a few weeks, they may want to do an endoscopy. I have no idea what that is, but it doesn't sound good.
Anyway, I have another week vacation and I'm hoping to be able to stay home and enjoy it. I have a few projects that I want to work on at the house and I'm going to try to start on them tomorrow after I have returned from the vet.
Well, I'm off to catch up on my blog reading and watch some movies.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007
When Dylan was six, he was diagnosed with Diabetes. For the past four years I have scheduled my life around his insulin shots. He can only eat special dog food designed for diabetics and he gets two shots a day, 12 hours apart. When he was first diagnosed he was a nice big lab and weighed in at around 110 pounds. Now he is down to around 84 pounds.
After the second year of changing the amount of insulin every couple of weeks I asked the doctors if they could look to see if there was something else wrong with him that could be causing more problems. They said his behavior was normal for diabetics. I felt they were wrong.
Over the past several months, his insulin requirements have jumped dramatically and he has been having more of his “spells”. He has seizures and episodes where he is very wobbly and can’t walk up and down stairs or get up and down from the bed. A few weeks ago I rushed him to the emergency vet at midnight on a Friday night because his eyes looked as if they had sunken into his head. They diagnosed him with something called Horner’s Syndrome, which is a dying of the nerve endings around the eyes and causes the lids to droop.
Last Tuesday, I happened to be home during the day due to a migraine, when he had another episode. I took him to the vet and the new doctor there did some tests that came back relatively normal for a diabetic dog. However, she was very concerned about his constant episodes and wanted to do more testing. Today he went in for an ultrasound of the abdomen and also to have his ears checked. She was planning to lightly sedate him so that she could get a look down deep into his ears, the middle ear, I think.
She called a few minutes ago and said that the ears looked good, except for being dirty (they were just cleaned last week) and a slight infection. The ultrasound showed an abnormal nodule on his spleen. They aspirated it and are going to do a cytology (sp?) on it to see if it is a regenerative tumor or something else. She said that with the regenerative kind, there are normally more than one at a time. She is also concerned that he has a pancreas problem. She said there is a lot of muscle wasting around his head and also in his legs and that the pancreas problem could be causing that because his body is probably not getting enough nutrients from his food to help him and he is literally starving to death.
I’m very concerned about him. I have already lost Jade and my Grandmother and an uncle this year, not to mention my dad’s 16 year old lab. I don’t know if I can take another loss right now. I may be jumping the gun, but I just don’t have a good feeling about this.
As with Jade, I don’t want Dylan to be in pain. He always looks like so sad, but I don’t know if that is the Horner’s Syndrome or if he is in pain. My mum said yesterday that I need to think about how far I’m willing to go to diagnose his issues and treat them. I spend about $250 per month on food and insulin for him. That does not include all the vet trips and tests they have to run to monitor his condition. I know today’s bill is going to be a huge. I will be surprised to get out of there for less than $500.
Well, I just felt like talking about my dog today. Hopefully, these latest tests will reveal the problem and a suitable treatment will be found.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
I baked cookies today. I cheated and used a toll house mix that I got at Costco, but it was fun and the house now smells like pine trees and chocolate chip cookies. I'm planning to take them to work to share this week. Tomorrow I'm making chocolate dipped pretzels and peanut butter crackers that will also go to work.
I'm currently watching The Notebook (I'm so gonna cry) and am getting ready to edit some pictures to go in a photo album I'm giving as a holiday present. I need to get them edited tonight so I can get them printed. The photo paper that I'm printing on says they need to sit for 7 days before being put in a frame or album, so I'd best get busy because I have to have it wrapped and ready to give on the 24th.
I'm almost finished with my sock. I had to go back to my teacher and get her to help me fix a big hole I'd made and couldn't figure out. Maybe tomorrow night I can work on my sock.
Well, I'm off to edit photos.
Friday, December 14, 2007
I should hear back from the vet today about the beast's test results. The results came in yesterday but the doctor was off and no one there could tell me what they found. On Wednesday, they had me bring him back for second urine catch. It seems that the concentration levels are way too low. I'm not exactly sure what that means. She wanted to redo the test to make sure there wasn't an error in the testing and then we would talk about what it means and the options. I will say it didn't sound good.
Last night I was in bed at 7 and stayed there until 5:40 this morning. I wish I could say I slept all the way through, but I didn't. :-(
Well, I'd best get to work. Have a great day.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
I've not been able to lay down and rest so the migraine is still raging. I don't know what I'm going to do about it. I have to go to work tomorrow. Since I couldn't rest I've done a little work on my computer/craft room. I hung a strand of lights that took me almost an hour and I tested them first but when I finally finished hanging them and plugged them in, half didn't work. Ugh...
I refuse to take them down now so I have to figure out how to fix them. Not tonight... maybe tomorrow night. :-(
On the surprise front, on Sunday I ran into a person that used to be one of my best friends. This is the person that I went to New Orleans with. Sunday was just Hi and Hi. I couldn't talk to her and didn't know what to say. Yesterday I get two emails from her within an hour. The gist of the emails were that she might like to talk and that seeing me made her realize how long it has been since we spoke. I just didn't know what to say. I waited until today and then wrote back. I don't know if I've done the right thing or not. I basically said that I was also surprised to see her and that maybe we could talk sometime. I don't know if this was the right thing to do or not. I haven't heard back from her, but in all honesty I don't expect to.
Well, I'd better go. It is almost time to feed the kids. Maybe I should see about finding me something too.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
I'm watching the Steelers vs Patriots game now. It is currently halftime. I know... thrilling right, you are just so glad you know this about me. :-)
Not much knitting has been going on around here lately. Mostly just sleeping, wrapping presents and well, more sleeping. Today the temperature reached over 70 degrees. It sucks! 70 in December? There is something just so wrong about that. I think this week will be warm and it will get cold again next Sunday. I really hope so. I need cold and snow!
I thought I'd spend some time surfing. I may try to figure out this whole template thing and get one that I really like. We'll see...
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
I have finally had time to sit down and copy my pictures from my camera to my PC. Now I can show you pictures of my sock! I'm still working on the mate. I have to go get help tomorrow as I've forgotten what I'm supposed to do at this point and can't make sense of the directions.
I really enjoy knitting the socks and I've already bought yarn for two more pairs. :-)
Thanksgiving was very different this year. We had our family celebration on Saturday. I was able to spend a lot of time with my little cousins. They are so adorable and they are growing up so fast!
My house is all decorated for Yule with only one thing missing...the tree. I'm planning to get it on Thursday after work. Almost all of my gifts have been purchased already so I just have to wrap and get a couple of little things. I've been looking through so many magazines and blogs that have crafting as a topic and I have so many ideas in my head. I was given some of my grandmothers jewelry that I think could be turned into some neat projects.
I need to find time to work out all these ideas. Maybe if any of them turn out, I'll post them here and see what you think.
I'm going to take off now. I started back swimming yesterday morning and need to get my stuff ready for in the morning. I have a killer headache right now and want to get ready to go to bed.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
I'm so glad that work is almost to a break. I just can't stand it right now and really want to change careers. I'm going to have to do a lot more thinking on that.
Anyway, I'm around and have been reading blogs just not posting. I promise to come out of Gilmore land at some point and put up a real post with pictures and everything. (Season 7 of Gilmore Girls arrived in my mailbox this past Friday and I've spent a good deal of time watching it since I never saw it when it originally aired.)
Friday, November 09, 2007
With that in mind, I've decided not to give up hope. I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure the universe knows what I want and helps me to get it. I have some magickal workings I'll be doing starting tonight, on the new moon. And I'll be bringing in some of the hoodoo aspects that I am learning. I know deep down that it is where I belong and I will reach my goal.
I'll post when something breaks!
Now, on the knitting front, I also have a never give up attitude. Last night when I started back on the sock, I was very frustrated with it and decided to just rip it out and give it up. After about 10 minutes of moping about not being able to knit socks, I started it all over again and I think it is coming along well. I plan to work on it tonight while I watch Ghost Whisperer and Lisa Williams and America's Best Psychic (or whatever it is called).
I'm off to give the beast his medicine and then start some work on my project.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
I think the reason that I never became too excited about this opportunity was that I knew it wouldn't happen. I have begun to expect any dream that I have to be shot down or taken away. The only good thing that came from my meeting today was that I learned that I could actually afford more than I thought I could. I suppose I will keep looking for a property like the one I wanted, but I don't believe I will ever find it.
I've been wondering what I did in a past life or even in this one to deserve so much heartbreak. I think I've had more than my fair share. It would be nice if at least one of my dreams could come true.
I've been told on more than one occasion that I am an empath. It makes it so much harder to hold back the pain when I have to feel everyone else's too.
This has hit me harder than I'd thought. I hope to put an end to the pity party tonight and will be back to regular posting tomorrow. Maybe I'll try some knitting to ease the pain. Or maybe I'll just go to bed early.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Work was a nightmare today so I wasn't able to address the heat issue until this afternoon. Luckily, when I flipped the breaker off and then back on and went to try the heat again, the furnace kicked right in. What a relief! It is supposed to get down to 27 tonight and I don't think I could have taken it. :-)
Sock class was last night and let me tell you, I have a new found appreciation for anyone who can actually knit socks. How in the world do you hold all those needles? I had to start over three times but may be getting the hang of it. I'm trying to decide if I want to work on the computer tonight or if I want to knit. I should probably knit while I can remember what she told us, but part of me wants to just surf the net tonight.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
The other reason that it is sock night is because it is COLD! I think it is supposed to get below freezing tonight. I never did finish digging out the garden. Tomorrow night's low is supposed to be 27. I think it will be this weekend before I can get in the yard. Oh well...
I've still been thinking about the change that I want to make. It seems to be all I can think about. I have made an appointment with a banking officer for Thursday to see if I could qualify for a loan because if I can't, there is no reason to continue thinking about it. I'm also feeling a pull toward a different career and am looking into what I would need to change my type of job. It would require my going back to school and I don't know that I could do that if I bought this property. I don't know if I could afford it financially, but I could maybe take one class here or there to start out and see if it is really what I want.
So, no real news on the possible big changes. I'm headed off to bed now so that I can get up in the morning and get to the gym to swim.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
This week has been an absolute whirlwind of activity. On Halloween, we had a party at work and I was part of the "entertainment". I was to be the "gypsy fortune teller". I did tarot readings from 8:30am until after 1:15pm. I was shocked at how many people wanted readings. I was also kind of surprised at how accurate most everyone said I was. I know I shouldn't doubt my abilities, but it has been ages since I have done readings.
Anyway, the most disturbing reading I gave was for someone who has been referred to on this blog before as T for trouble. I hate seeing myself in a reading. Ugh... I tried to explain what I saw, but I don't think T took it seriously. I hope he did otherwise things could be grim for him.
Okay, so now to the rest of the whirlwind, I have spent almost every waking moment knitting on the baby sweater for my s-i-l's sis. I was doing really well until I finished the second sleeve on Friday night and discovered when I held it up that the sleeve was in the middle of the back. Duh! I had to pull it out and then start that part over again. I did get it finished 15 minutes before I was to give it to her. Here it is:
I'm really pleased with how it turned out and with how I did in fixing my mistakes on my own. Most important the mom to be loved it. :-)
Yesterday, I took a ride up the mountain to look at a house that I am interested in. In this post I wrote about needing to find a new dream. Well, I may have found it. The home I am looking at is 1 hour and 30 minutes from my job. That is the only negative thing about this property. The house was built in 1828 and sits in the middle of 68 acres of land, most of it wooded. There is also a nice stream that runs through the property and it has a great old barn and a nice sized workshop that is relatively new and wired. I am really crazy about this property. It is exactly what I have wanted for more years that I can count.
The price is a little more than I'm comfortable with but I think it is doable. I just don't know who long I can drive 3 hours a day to work. If I decide to buy this property, it would be a serious life change. I know it is where I should be. Even before going to see it, I did a working on the night of the full moon to start the process flowing. I admit, I am a little scared. It would be such a change. I would be very much on my own. I'm so used to having my family close by and not having to take care of everything on my own. But it really is something I want.
I know, I've started rambling. I think I'm trying to work this out in my head, by writing here. Well, I'm going to stop writing about it and just leave it at this. I'm going to meditate on it and also ask my guardians to help me decide what to do. I'm sure I'll post about it again.
Well, I'm off to relax. My whole body needs to stretch and relax from all the tension in getting that sweater finished. Hmmm, I wonder what is on the TV tonight.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Whew... what a day so far! I wanted to pop in for a second and wish everyone a wonderful and blessed Samhain. And Happy Halloween to any non-pagans! :-)
I've just finished carving the pumpkin, picture to follow later, and am getting ready to pick up the beast from the vet and then get ready for any trick or treaters that might stop by as well as get things ready for my Samhain ritual later this evening. Enjoy your night and watch out for visiting spirits! :-)
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Tomorrow is our Halloween Carnival at work. I am the entertainer for the event, the "fortune teller". I'll be doing mini readings (past, present and future). I'm a little nervous about reading for my co-workers, there are some I don't want to know anything about, if ya know what I mean.
Well, I'd best get back to work. Less than an hour left and then knitting class tonight. I still have to select my outfit for tomorrow and also pick out my pumpkin designs.
Maybe tomorrow I can post knitting pictures and pumpkin pictures.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Yesterday, Mum and I took a trip to the country. Some friends live in a rural area in the next county and were having a Brunswick Stew sale at the fire department. We went and had lunch and picked up our 20 quarts. It is delicious! I really think theirs is the best I've ever had.
After lunch we went to Dempsey's Place to check out the open house they were having. Mum ended up getting four framed prints. They are so beautiful! Dempsey was there and personalized the prints and also gave us his 2008 calendar, personalized, for free. He is a very nice person and I think he is a great artist.
The picture above is what I bought at Dempsey's Place. They had different sizes and also snow Santa's that matched. I would like to get one of each at some point.
After we left Dempsey's, Mum took me down the road to a little antique shop. They had some interesting stuff. I found this beautiful Hat Pin there at a very reasonable price, so I had to get it.
So far today I have checked email, downloaded and gone through my photos from yesterday, been to the grocery, started laundry, washed a load of dishes and started cooking some collards. I'm going out in the yard in a little bit to clean the gutters and rake leaves. I also need to finish cleaning out the garden. My compost bin is so overflowing I can't get anything else in. I need to get a larger one.
Anyway, hopefully I can get my yard stuff done and then get back to the knitting. I have to get this baby sweater done. Last night I found a whole that I'd left so I started going back a few rows to fix it. I really don't want to have to start over again. I did find out that the sweater has to be ready by next Saturday. I guess I know what I'm doing this week, with every spare minute. :-)
Friday, October 26, 2007
This morning, I awoke at 4:18, without the assistance of an alarm clock. The first thing I realized was that it was The Day. The Day is when I lost all my dreams and all my wishes. The Day is when I realized that Fate can be cruel and likes to play games with one’s mind. It has been three years since The Day. Three long, sad years. I have carried on with my life, but I have never been whole. My entire life prior to The Day was spent in anticipation and preparation for the family that I would have. I grew up watching Little House on the Prairie and The Walton’s. I wanted to be Olivia Walton. I wanted her life, the country home, the loving husband and seven or eight children. I knew deep down in my bones, in my soul, that was the life for me. All of my life I KNEW that was my destiny. I never even considered wanting or trying for something different.
Then it happened, pain, blood, surgery to remove a swollen and blocked fallopian tube. I was not happy about this surgery, but I couldn’t take all the bleeding, the pain anymore. And my gynecologist assured me it would not hinder my plans for child bearing. I knew when I came to, even groggy as I was that something wasn’t right. The doctor wouldn’t look me in the eye, nor would my mum. On the ride home, I vaguely remembered the doctor saying there would be pictures of the surgery should I want to see them. I asked my mum for them, but she refused to give them to me. “Not right now,” she said, “you’re still too woozy. I’ll show them to you tomorrow.” I knew.
The next day, I asked again for the pictures and received more excuses, “I forgot them at home with your paperwork, and I’ll bring them tomorrow.”
It was two more days before I was given the pictures. They were left for me where I would find them when she wasn’t there to answer questions. An hour after I looked at them, the doctor called and wanted me to come in that day to see another doctor in the practice as a ‘follow-up’. “What aren’t you telling me?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer. “When can you get here? We’ll talk then,” she said. An hour and half later, I walk through the doors of the practice. There are pictures of each doctor on the wall, with their specialty listed below. My eyes searched for the name she had given me. There, I spot her name and look down at the title before looking up at the picture…Gynecological Oncologist. My heart stopped and somewhere inside me, my soul began to die.
The wait wasn’t long, but the conversation was long. It seemed to last for hours. Borderline tumors. Low-malignant ovarian cancer. It grows outside, not like normal cancers. Can you use the word normal and cancer in the same sentence? Only one choice. “But I want to have children; it’s what I’m meant to do.” “There are other alternatives to having a child naturally; you really don’t have a choice in this.” My last question what when do I have to decide, her response, “You can wait a day or two, but no longer than that.”
So many thoughts ran through my mind. I spent several sleepless nights and days, avoiding the doctor’s phone calls. When they finally caught up with me I felt I had no choice but to agree. Agree to a removal of my ovaries and only fallopian tube, but I demanded that they leave my uterus. “At least I’ll have a chance for IVF with a donor egg,” I thought. My surgeon would not promise to leave my uterus. The growths were all over the back of my uterus and the only way to be safe was to have a complete hysterectomy. A date was finally set for the end of January to have the surgery. I went through the process of telling my family and friends. I spent the months up to the surgery seeing specialist after specialist. At one point, I begged a fertility specialist to just remove my ovaries and freeze them until technology caught up and they could be sliced open and the eggs harvested. They said it wasn’t possible.
Time didn’t fly, but then it was January, and I was in surgery. Total and complete hysterectomy. Instantaneous menopause at 35. The next few days were a blur as I tried to recover physically, alone in a hospital that I hated (another story for another time) with no one to talk to. A bad ice and snow storm had come during my surgery and the roads were very treacherous and no one wanted to be on them. I remember lying in the hospital bed, sweating profusely and crying at the least little thing.
There have been lots of tears since the surgery and way more hot flashes. It has taken me this long to be able to be around babies without breaking down into hysterical crying. At the time that I was losing my fertility, everyone around me was becoming more fertile. Several friends and co-workers became pregnant or had spouses who did and every place I went had at least one pregnant woman or newborn baby. I spent the first year just trying to stay alive every day. The second year was spent trying to figure out what to do next.
I will never understand why my fertility was taken from me. Nor will I understand why my dreams had to die that way. But it is time to find a new dream, time to find a reason to keep going. Maybe someday…Blessings,
Monday, October 22, 2007
I need a change, a big change. I've already made a small one. I'm coming back to this blog. I won't be posting on the other one for a while, if at all. I won't delete it. At least, not right now, but there may come a time when I decide to delete it.
I'm feeling a lot of things lately and none of them are good. I've been thinking about a lot of things that I would like to change in my life. My current living situation is fine, it just isn't what I really want. I have a nice small house with a nice yard, but I can't really spend much time in the yard because of the neighbors. I don't remember if I have posted about my neighbor troubles, but long story short... we just don't get along. They are constantly harassing me and I just can't take it any more. I feel trapped when I come home. I feel like I can't really live.
What I have always dreamed of, is a big old farmhouse in the country, surrounded by lots and lots of land. A few weeks ago, after the latest harassment, I started looking for houses. I have decided that if I chose to move again, it will only be to the type of home I really want. I have been in this house for two years. I live only five minutes from work and to find the type of home I want, I'll probably end up at least 45 minutes to an hour from work.
Anyway, while searching around, just to see what was out there, I found it. I found exactly what I have always wanted. The house was built in 1828 and it has been restored and is surrounded by 68 acres of land. Yes, I said sixty eight acres. It is beautiful! I haven't been to see it yet. If I decide to go, I'll have to contact a realtor because it is over the state line. It is also one hour and fifteen minutes from where I currently live.
I don't think the asking price is too much. For the amount of lad and the home it seems reasonable. The only problem is that I don't have the asking price.
I feel drawn to this home, to this location. I don't know how to explain it. I need to figure out what to do, if I should even try to get financing for it. I know I would have to go see it before I made a real decision. Maybe I should start saving my pennies and investigate a way to finance it. One of my co-workers said I need to come up with a job that I can do from home, so that I wouldn't have to commute. It's a good idea. I just wouldn't know where to begin.
Well, enough about my rambling wishes and dreams. Let's talk about knitting. :-)
I finally finished the Iceland Felted Purse. It turned out a little smaller than I was thinking I would want it, but that is my fault for not paying close attention during felting.
Isn't it cute? I like it. I'll start using it as soon as it gets cooler.
Well, I'm off to heat up some dinner and do some crafting. I have a sodalite anklet that broke and I have some ideas on how to fix it and turn it into a necklace. So, I'm going to play with that after dinner.
If anyone has any suggestions for me about making my living arrangement change happen, let me know. I'd appreciate any help. Oh, and if anyone out there feels like giving away $300,000 I'll be happy to take it. I promise to put it to good use! :-)
Sunday, October 21, 2007
So, since I couldn't knit the rest of the afternoon, I decided to check out Ravelry! I had received my invitation earlier in the week, but hadn't had a chance to get online. I LOVE IT! It is very cool! My Ravelry ID for anyone might want to add me is Spiritwitch. Big surprise, right? :-)
Anyway, I'm getting ready to watch the Steelers game (for as long as I can stay awake) and surf some more. I should probably have something for dinner though. Oh and I watched a crappy movie this afternoon on SciFi. The Gravedancers is horrible! I can't believe I watched the whole thing! I love Dominic Purcell (one of the reasons I watched it) and the cemetery scenes were filmed in a my favorite local cemetery. I used to take walks through there because I worked near by. I still work close by but it is not as easy to get to so I don't get there very often. It was weird being able to recognize a lot of the places in the movie.
Speaking of movies, last night I saw The Guardian. It is a must see movie. It was fabulous! I'm not a big fan of either Ashton Kutcher or Kevin Costner, but I thought they both did a great job.
Well, I'm off. Going to try to get some dinner before kickoff and also flip back and forth to the Food Network Challenge (they are doing Halloween cakes!).
Friday, October 19, 2007
We had rain yesterday and today. Yesterday it was mostly light sprinkling, but today we had lots of downpours. I don't know how much rain we actually received, but I swear I can hear the trees and flowers sighing in joy. I wish we could get more. I hope for more...
I'm slowly making my way through the never-ending afghan. I'm almost done with the third of four blocks in the first panel. I'll be so happy when the first panel is done.
Oh, and I am so hooked on LA Ink. Kat Von D and her crew are awesome artists. I would so love to get a tattoo from anyone in that shop. I've also been checking out Moon's new tattoos. I'm so wanting to get another tattoo. I'll have to check around and see if I can find a good place to go and get one. :-)
Well, I'm off to enjoy Buffy and scrounge up something to eat and surf the web.
Friday, October 05, 2007
Anyway, I'm still alive and am hoping to get back to blog posting soon.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Friday, September 07, 2007
by James Joyce
Most people are convinced that you don't make any sense, but compared
to what else you could say, what you're saying now makes tons of sense. What people do
understand about you is your vulgarity, which has convinced people that you are at once
brilliant and repugnant. Meanwhile you are content to wander around aimlessly, taking in
the sights and sounds of the city. What you see is vast, almost limitless, and brings you
additional fame. When no one is looking, you dream of being a Greek folk hero.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
Monday, September 03, 2007
On top of that, I had an uncle pass on Friday. I loved this uncle very much and love that part of my family, but I just couldn't take another funeral right now. Not to mention it was over 8 hours from where I live and I would have missed another day of work.
Thursday night at the football game turned out to be a nightmare. I never should have gone and as I was leaving my house my intuition told me not to go, but I didn't listen. I went despite every instinct I have telling me not to, and I have really regretted it. I will listen to my instincts from now on.
I haven't really felt like blogging. I haven't had much to say. I've missed so much work last week and I am so behind that I'm going to have to do some work from home today.
I know this post is really scattered and I'm sorry, I'm just typing as it comes to me.
I did finish the scarf I was working on as a gift for a friend. Today is laundry, cleaning and bill paying day. I start back swimming and work tomorrow morning.
Well, I'd better get started. Unlike Mrs. Weasley, I can't make the laundry and cleaning do themselves! :-)
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
You are The Magician
Skill, wisdom, adaptation. Craft, cunning, depending on dignity.
Eleoquent and charismatic both verbally and in writing,
you are clever, witty, inventive and persuasive.
The Magician is the male power of creation, creation by willpower and desire. In that ancient sense, it is the ability to make things so just by speaking them aloud. Reflecting this is the fact that the Magician is represented by Mercury. He represents the gift of tongues, a smooth talker, a salesman. Also clever with the slight of hand and a medicine man - either a real doctor or someone trying to sell you snake oil.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
Friday, August 03, 2007
When I came home my Netflix video was waiting for me.
I highly recommend Premonition. I love Sandra Bullock. I have always liked her movies. I hadn't really heard much about it and wasn't sure what to expect. I really loved it. :-)
So, two good movies today and a great swim this morning. Yay...
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Now I'm ready for Mabon! I'm sick to death of the heat and want to feel the cool fall air in the mornings. I LOVE fall! I think I love it almost as much as I do winter. I don't know about you all, but I'm ready for the change.
What say you? Shall we wish for an early fall?
Friday, July 27, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Anyway, tonight I begin!
Sunday, July 22, 2007
I've finished it! I started yesterday morning around 10 and finished the book this morning at 2.
There will be no spoilers here. Just this comment: Absolutely LOVED IT!!!!!!
On Friday afternoon, I went to see Order of the Phoenix. Same comment applies! :-)
Thursday, July 12, 2007
I have so many things on my mind lately. When I sit down to post on my blogs, I do not know where to begin. I haven't been blogging much due to health issues, work, spirit, just too much "stuff". There is so much I want to say, so much I NEED to say. But there is no one to listen. The one person I could talk to about anything, that I felt closest to, blew me off after the New Orleans fiasco. I've tried talking to my mum, whom I'm pretty close to, but she listens with only half an ear and usually doesn't understand the things I'm talking about anyway.
I've contemplated writing it out here. I am not certain, however, how much I should share in the blog world. So here is a question for those who read this blog. How much should be shared? How much do you share on your blog? Is it all or nothing, or just bits and pieces.
Maybe your responses will help me figure out where to start... or even if I should.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
So enjoy the summer solstice, the longest day of the year and remember the Oak King.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
I also finished reading "The Moon Under Her Feet" by Clysta Kinstler. It was an okay read. I read it for my book club which meets tonight. I am so proud that I have finished a book before the meeting! :-)
Tomorrow is Solstice and we are moving my Grandmother so I'm not sure what my day will hold as far as being able to do ritual. There is a solstice gathering in a park near my house, but I do not know if I will get to go.
I'm also participating in a Solstice group ritual this weekend. I'm re-dedicating myself and am looking forward to the ceremony.
I just wanted to post a little to say hello and let you know I'm still around.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Every since New Orleans, I dream. I have always been a big dreamer, but now I dream all the time. Every time I wake up at night, I am waking from a dream. I feel like I have had no sleep at all. Seriously, my brain just will not shut down and rest.
I know I'm supposed to be learning something from these dreams, but they all seem so random. I went to bed last night at 9. I woke during the night at the very least, 5 times, but more than like, more that that. I could barely drag myself out of bed this morning when the alarm went off at 6.
Does anyone else have this problem, or something similar? Or maybe a suggestion as to what to do? Drugs to make me sleep are out of the question. I'm tried meditation before bed and it just seems to make me dream more. I know that the lave tet that I had in New Orleans opened me up psychically and spiritually, I just didn't realize it would be this open! :-)
Friday, June 01, 2007
A lot of it should probably be kept to myself, but what I will say is that my life is different now. I'm back to being pretty much solitary. While I thought that the trip would reinforce my friendships with those I went with, it turns out that it pretty much ended them. One friendship in particular was "put on hold" although it feels more like it was ended than anything else. One thing I learned from this trip is that people really are not always what they seem.
So, enough of the moping, and on to the pictures. I will say, if you ever have an opportunity to go to New Orleans, you should take it. I'm glad I went and wouldn't change that for anything, even if I would change the way it ended.
Above is a photo of Bourbon St. Below is a gate that is an entrance to Jackson Square. I really liked the gate and thought I should take a photo.
Here we have a photo of a guardian on top of the New Orleans Museum of Art. I thought it was pretty cool.
Right above we have a photo that I took in St. Louis Cemetery #1. I loved the tombs and the intricate detail on them and the gates surrounding them. And below is the tomb of Mam'zelle Marie Laveau.
And last we have a picture of the French Quarter and leftover remnants from Mardi Gras.
Well, I have many more pictures, but I'll save them for later. I'm going with any of the above pictures as my Eye Candy Friday post.
Did anyone do anything special for the Blue Moon last night? I did a ritual and spell that I think went pretty well. I certainly felt better during and after the ritual.
I'm off for now. I'll try to post more later.
Friday, May 18, 2007
My first Rhododendron bloom. I love the color. Maybe next year I'll have more.
I am about 24 hours away from leaving for New Orleans. I am unbelievable excited! There is still so much to do, but I feel confident I can get it done and be ready to go. I hope I can sleep tonight. Usually when I'm going on big trips, I don't sleep the night before I leave. I better sleep tonight. :-)
I still have not gotten a picture of my knitting progress. I hope to do that tonight. I am planning on taking my knitting with me for while I'm riding in the car. I have a small flashlight I can use to see while we ride. Gosh, I can't believe I'm going to New Orleans!
I am also taking my camera so I hope to bring back lots of pictures to share.
Well, I can't think of anything else to say so I'll say bye for now.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
I have so much left to do and yet it seems to be getting closer and closer. I hope I get it all done and can get a good night's sleep the night before we leave. Usually when I am going on a trip, I am unable to sleep the night before I leave. That would be bad in this case as we are driving!
Gosh, I am so excited I can barely contain myself. I do have knitting class tonight and tomorrow is book club, which I am probably going to skip out on. Tomorrow at lunch I have to shop for shoes and a new bra ( I know... TMI!).
Oh well, I hope to get some pictures tonight of my current knitting project. If I can get it done I'll post a photo so you can see what I'm working on. I still haven't felted that bag I made a month ago. I will make that a priority when I return from NOLA.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Well, in 10 days, I'll be on my way to do all those things, and a whole lot more. :-)
I've been invited on a trip to New Orleans. We will leave on Saturday, the 19th, and return on the 23rd (which happens to be my birthday). Not only do I get to do all the things listed above, I also get to meet attend a serious vodou ceremony. I am so excited. My friends and I are planning to take lots of pictures and I hope to have some good ones to post later.
I've been giving the vodou thing a lot of thought. I truly enjoy the ceremony and learning about the religion and I think I will continue to be a "believer", but in my heart... I'm a witch. I always have been and always will be. When talking to our Manbo, a friend and I asked if it is possible to be both, vodou and witch, and she laughed and said, sure... you're a vodou witch!
I'm not sure just how much I'm allowed to talk about in regards to the vodou and the things that happen. I don't want to say more than I'm supposed to, so I'll stop now.
Anyway, just wanted to give a little update on what is going on with me. I appreciate all the support from you guys about Jade. It has been very strange not having her around and now a strange black cat has shown up outside my house twice in the last few days. Jade used to lay in the windows, she would switch her window throughout the day, almost like she was guarding the house. Now this other cat has shown up. It won't come near me and I've only seen it at night (I say it because I don't know if it is a male or female) so the situation is a little weird.
On Saturday morning, my father had a cyst removed from his spinal column. I spent the entire day at the hospital with my stepmother. She was very worried, but he came through fine.
So, anyway, this is what I've been up to... planning a trip and helping my dad and dealing with the loss of Jade. I've also been working in my yard a little. Tomorrow I get my vegetable plants and get them in the ground.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
I have not handled this well at all. I never thought she would be the first of my brood to leave me. Jade was my witch cat, my familiar. She left this earth one day after Beltane, on the day of the Full Moon, the Witches' Moon.
Her ashes will be returned to me either Friday or Monday. I am planning to put her ashes, along with a picture of her, on my ancestors altar.
You can see in this photo, taken this morning, that she doesn't look well. She seemed to be in so much pain. The doctor was very sweet and very caring and they let me be with her as she passed. I was the last thing she saw. She went very peacefully, as I loved on her.
Well, I think that is all I can say right now. I'll try to get back to regular posting soon.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
(cross-posted on my other blog)
Please send healing energies to her. She is a sweet 12 year old.
(cross-posted on my other blog)
Saturday, April 21, 2007
I've also found a new knitting project. It is the Plymouthy Yarns Galway Sampler Afghan. I'm doing it in cream, tan, sage green and dark green. I hope it will look good. It took me forever to decide on the colors. I kept trying to put purple in it and the ladies in my knitting class were horrified! So here is a picture but the colors don't look right for some reason. :-)
I spent the day in the yard today. I've cleaned my herb bed out and worked on getting my vegetable patch ready to be tilled. I just have to pull up my fence and then I can till! Yay!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
I am horrified and speechless at what happened at Va. Tech. I hope that the students and parents, faculty and staff know that we are all thinking of them in this tragedy. We wish them safety, love and healing.
In Love and Light,
Friday, April 06, 2007
I'm watching the clouds come in. It seems the weather people are calling for snow tonight and tomorrow morning. I'm taking a walking tour of a local cemetery tomorrow and I expect it is going to be cold. It would make it so interesting if there was snow on the ground during it.
I think I'll take some photos of the sky now. It is very pretty.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Saturday, March 31, 2007
(If you look real close on the above photo you can spot my mistake where I messed up a row and got the stitches twisted somehow. I decided since it is going to be felted, I wasn't going to pull it out and start again.)
Our class isn't meeting this coming week because the teacher is on holiday so I'm sure I'll be completely done before our next class. :-) In the light, the main color looks navy to me, but it is actually black. I really hope it turns out well.
Here is a closeup:
So, there you have it. I hope to be able to post pictures of the completed project in the next week.
Well, I'm off to do more research for a spell I need. I've got to find just the right combination to help with this petition and then make certain I have all the ingredients.
Don't ya just love a teaser! Seriously, there is something in the works which could be life changing for me and as soon as I'm comfortable enough to talk about it without worrying I'll jinx it, I'll let you in on the secret. All I can say at this point is that it is a very good thing and please send me lots of good luck energy!
Alright, I'm off to a vodou group meeting. I promise to post knitting pictures soon.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Saturday, March 17, 2007
I'm not sure if this is the path that I am supposed to follow but I think it is at least one I should try right now. It may turn out to be nothing but it could turn out to be something and I'd hate to miss out on something. :-)
For those that read both my blogs, I'm still unable to post on the other one. I tried to post my Saturday Sky photo earlier and am still getting errors. I'm seriously considering moving from blogger to something else. If this keeps up another few days, I'll be looking else where.
Well, time to get ready. Need to change clothes and gather my offerings to take.
Friday, March 16, 2007
I guess I'm posting this here because I'm just very frustrated and need to vent. I know that isn't what this blog is for, but...there it is. :-)
Monday, March 12, 2007
Anyway, I hope it will turn out okay. I haven't started it yet, but really want to soon. Class doesn't start back until next Tuesday and I'd like to get a start on it before class. We shall see.
This weekend was interesting in the occult genre. Friday night I had to help a friend cleanse a room in her house. There was some sort of energy there that was seriously creeping out her two sons. It seemed better when I left and when I talked to her the next night she said it was much better. It was nice being able to help her in the cleansing. It felt pretty good to use that side of myself.
Saturday night I went to the second meeting of a women's group, but did not have a good time. I'm not sure exactly what caused my issues, but I could not stay in a good mood. I can't quite put my finger on it, I don't know if I was just tired or if there was someone sending out bad energy. There was a presence that was there and was very distracting. For some reason I couldn't block it out, when usually I can. I don't know... I haven't been able to block much of anything lately. It is causing me serious migraines and a lot of lost sleep. This coming weekend I'll be participating in my first voodoo ceremony. I'm excited but am also very nervous and intimidated.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Earlier this week I signed up for a hoodoo class and am really looking forward to doing it. Part of the agreement to take the class is that I can't share materials from the class with anyone, so you won't see me post those things here. But I will probably talk about my reactions to the things I'm learning. One of my friends told me she was taking it and when I read about it from the website I was thrilled. It sounds like just what I've been looking for. I told a mutual friend and now we are all three taking the class. Woo hoo!
So, things are very busy and picking up steam. I'll try to post when I can and when I feel it relates to either knitting or my spirituality.
Enjoy the full moon tomorrow!