Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Oh, and Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
really... i'm asking... how do you know? when you are trying to make changes in your life, taking on a new project or just to answer the simple question of 'these are my options, which should i choose'...how do you know? the fear is always there, isn't it? but how do you know if fear of failure is really what is telling you not to take a certain path...couldn't it be intuition? if over and over you hear the whispers telling you it won't work, don't do it, is that intuition...or doubt? how do you know?
i really need some help here...please... how do YOU tell the difference?
Monday, December 29, 2008
Last week, when I talked with one of my good friends, she was thrilled when I told her that the house had become available again and she also believes that it is supposed to be mine. I tell you, I am determined to make this happen. I know I belong there, I believe... I believe... I b.e.l.i.e.v.e!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
I can't believe that Yule is less than two days away. I am almost dreading it. It seems that the moment that winter officially arrives, it starts to leave. I would like to have a longer winter. It might help if I lived in an area that actually had a real winter, with cold air and lots of snow.
There has been no knitting in this house this week. Too many new toys to play with, so I'm easily distracted.
In case I don't get back online beforehand, I want to wish you all a blessed Yule.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
hmmm.. wait... i want this one too...
and this one too...
okay...i'll stop there...
Monday, December 15, 2008
I'm looking for someone from my past, and I'm wondering if I should. A person that I was best friends with, as close as sisters, has come back into my life, in a bad way. Over the last few months, my mum and I have both received phone calls from collection agencies looking for this person. Apparently they gave my mum and I as contacts for emergencies. What balls they have!
I have had no contact from this person in over 10 years, probably closer to 15. It astounds me that they would do this. Our friendship ended very badly, I was living in my grandparents house and she had been living there also, sharing the bills, etc. She moved out and stuck me with all the bills and several of them over $500.
Anyway, I've been trying to search for this person to find a way to contact them. I found an email for them and have sent an email off. I'm afraid that in doing so, I'm opening Pandora's Box.
Wish me luck...
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
I began this class in February of 2006. It took me over a year to finish reading the course materials and then the longest time to even begin working on the homework. At one point, I really thought that I would stop doing the course and just give up. Hoodoo has a lot of what I consider catholic overtones, lots of saints and bible verses used. This has been a sticking point for me as I'm not very fond of Christianity.
I decided to stick this out and to do what I do with all religions. I take from it what makes sense or works for me and leave the rest behind. I guess you could say I'm a very eclectic witch. :-)
So, now that I'm done and hopefully will pass and get my nifty certificate, I'll be able to incorporate what I've learned into my vast melange of my practice.
If I pass...I'll also be able to say that I'm a certified root worker or conjure. :-)
Monday, December 08, 2008
Sunday, December 07, 2008
I have already completed five of the eight, including the documentation to go with them. I have number six almost ready, just have to bag it up and type up the documentation. Number seven is creating an oil. I just finished mixing mine up, I had to come up with my own recipe and everything. This is something that I have never done in my almost 25+ years as a witch. I realized that as I was mixing it together. I'm constantly putting together herb mixtures for candle rubs, or herbal bags, but I had never tried oils. I wonder what I was afraid of. :-)
So, now I have one homework left. I have to make a "mojo bag". I don't expect it should be too hard. I think the hard part is deciding what type of bag I want to make. I'm leaning toward something like a blessing mojo.
Well, I'm going to finish typing up my current homework and then try to get started on number 8. Hopefully, I'll get to the knitting today. Speaking of knitting, I had to frog part of my second sock last night. I was turning the heel when I realized I'd forgotten to go to a smaller needle when I finished the leg. I've also started another pair in light blue that I hope to finish before Dec. 24Th as they are a gift for my mum. I guess I'll be busy knitting... no more early to bed. :-)
And because I really like to have a photo in my posts... I'll leave you with a photo of last night's moon.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
You Are Marilyn Monroe
A classic tortured beauty
You're the dream girl of many men
Yet they never seem to treat you right
Thursday, November 27, 2008
If you celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope you have a great day. If Thanksgiving is not on your list of holidays, I hope you have a great Thursday!
Friday, November 21, 2008
Here is where I stand now...
I completed sock 1 and started sock 2. I'm so excited. It seems so much easier than it was last year. I think that somewhere in the dregs of my brain, the memories from last year's class are coming back and so it all is very familiar when I read the pattern and work it.
Hopefully with a few days of cold mountain air, I'll be sitting by the fire watching football, basketball and knitting. Maybe even get my sock 2 to the toe position for last class on Tuesday night. :-)
Oh, if you'd like to read about the surprise I had this morning, come visit me here.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Now, however, after playing with my camera - believe me I have NO idea what I did, just messed with the buttons because a lot of what she wrote is currently way over my head - this weekend I was able to get a photo like this:
I'm much happier with the second photo than I am with the first. I think I'm going to have to go back and read all the photography posts that Ree has had on her site. They really know what they are doing and I think I could learn a lot from them.
In knitting news, I've finished the ribbing on second sock started over and will work on turning the heel tonight. Yay! I'll try to get a photo up later.
Oh, I've been working on my Hoodoo course homework. Only have 3 more to do (well 2 really) and then I can mail in my homework and hopefully pass so I can be a certified Hoodoo Rootworker. :-)
Saturday, November 15, 2008
It has been a long time since I've done a Saturday Sky post. I thought it was time to start again.
The weather here has been strange all day. Strong winds, this morning rainy and sunny with clouds flying by so fast it makes me wonder where they are hurrying off to, or are they running from something?
I had thought of going to the lake house this afternoon to spend a few days. We haven't been up in a while and we need to, to settle it in for winter. One of the reasons we didn't go was because I had a bridal shower to attend today which would have set us to leaving late afternoon. Neither mum nor I felt like driving up the mountain in the dark so we postponed until next weekend, when we can have an earlier start to the day.
After seeing the weather forecast for the lake this morning, I'm very sorry we didn't go.
I would love to see the snow.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Here are the rules:
- Link to the person or persons who tagged you.
- Post the rules on your blog.
- Write 6 random things about yourself.
- Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them.
- Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
- Let the tagger know when your entry is up.
And now, six random things about me.
- I am Type2 Diabetic.
- I have an obsession with all things Welsh.
- I have a very prominent scar on my right hand from where I tried to put a butcher knife through a concrete wall about 15 years ago.
- I have episodes of agoraphobia.
- I have a strange connection with the dead. Yes, I see dead people and no, I'm not joking.
- Sometimes, babies make me cry.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Make sure your pumpkins are carved and your treats are ready...
Say a prayer for those who have passed in the past year. Be sure to honor your ancestors today, light a candle for them, leave them a plate of their favorite foods or visit the grave and leave flowers or something that they would like.
Watch for spooks and goblins tonight and be safe.
Have a blessed samhain...
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Yesterday, I found out that the significant other of an acquaintance of mine, one of the girls I made the NOLA trip with, was killed on Tuesday. She was crossing an intersection after work and was struck by a bus. She died several hours later at the age of 33. It is so very sad.
The other girl that made the trip with us called me yesterday to tell me the news. She is just as sad and worried as I am about our friend. I don't know how to help her, I haven't spoken to or seen her in over a year, but my heart is still hurting for her and how she must be feeling.
Tonight I will light a candle and say a prayer, for the spirit of the one who passed and the ones that are left to carry on.
Take a moment today to let the ones you love, know how you feel. Give them a hug, send an email with a smiley or just call and say Hi. We all need to know we are loved today, because tomorrow we may not be able to hear or say it.
I love you.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Today I made it out of the house and went on small trip with my mum. It is our annual trip to the county to get Brunswick stew and also to a sell of one of our favorite artists. We had a wonderful lunch, bought several neat things at the artists shop including two prints, one for her that was already framed and another for me that is still there to be framed.
After that we went to this little "antique" store down the road. Last year I found a cool hatpin there and this year I found 4 old skeleton keys...
and a porcelain pincushion doll...
I'm so excited about the keys - I've been looking for skeleton keys for over a year. The doll is a real find even though the cushion part is in very bad shape, the doll is in great shape and I've yet to decide what to do with it. One of my favorite people makes jewelry with dolls like this. I could never make anything as fabulous as hers, but I want to do something with it.
Tomorrow is another short outing and then back to work on Monday. I have to make it back to work. I've missed too many days in the past two weeks. Ugh...
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...
You Are an Ingrid!
You are an Ingrid -- "I am unique"
Ingrids have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.
How to Get Along with Me
- * Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
- * Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
- * Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
- * Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
- * Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!
What I Like About Being an Ingrid
- * my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
- * my ability to establish warm connections with people
- * admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
- * my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
- * being unique and being seen as unique by others
- * having aesthetic sensibilities
- * being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me
What's Hard About Being an Ingrid
- * experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
- * feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved
- * feeling guilty when I disappoint people
- * feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me
- * expecting too much from myself and life
- * fearing being abandoned
- * obsessing over resentments
- * longing for what I don't have
Ingrids as Children Often
- * have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games
- * are very sensitive
- * feel that they don't fit in
- * believe they are missing something that other people have
- * attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.
- * become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood
- * feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)
Ingrids as Parents
- * help their children become who they really are
- * support their children's creativity and originality
- * are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings
- * are sometimes overly critical or overly protective
- * are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed
I saw my doctor today and I have steatohepatitis. He said there was significant scarring of the liver and that if I don't get it under control, it will move on to cirrhosis. Oh. boy.
He also was not at all concerned that I had spent the last week in excruciating pain. He said he thought it was from the biopsy and since it had stopped, he wasn't worried about it.
So, I am to lose weight as that is the only "treatment" for steatohepatitis.
In other news, I woke up on Saturday with no pain (Yay!) and spent an amazingly long day working on my kitchen. I cleaned it from top to bottom and reorganized the cabinets. Over all it was a good day.
Oh and I also did something that I haven't done in a while. Yes, that's right, I pulled out the knitting needles! I worked a few rows on my never ending afghan. It took me a few minutes to figure out where I had left off, but it was great to get back to it. I've missed it.
I've also worked on several wreaths. I'll finish them up tonight, tag them tomorrow and take them to the shop on Thursday. I'll try to get pictures and post tomorrow.
Oh... happy full moon! If you get a chance, take a look outside tonight. I'm sure it will be beautiful!
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Work has been hectic and I've been coming home and pretty much crashing. Tonight I have more work to do from home which I'll get to once I eat dinner. I'm cooking spaghetti for dinner and am also cooking the green beans that I got at the farmers market this weekend.
I've decided to start using my other blog again. I started the other day and it is really under construction. When I opened it back up, I had to upgrade it and so I lost my background (which I loved). The link is in my sidebar. I feel like this site is my darker side and I need a lighter side too. I know... weird...
Anyhoo...I'm off to finish fixing dinner and getting back to work.
Monday, October 06, 2008
The urgent care doc's opinion was gall bladder. But because of the recent biopsy they needed to make sure that it wasn't the biopsy site bleeding out. After the ultrasound, i had to hang around in the radiology waiting room for the results. Turns out everything looked good and normal, including my gall bladder. So the doc says for me to take ibuprofen, rest and if it gets worse during the night to go to the emergency room (fat chance) or come in to the office in the morning if it is worse.
Well, that's a big huge frickin help. Here is the problem: it feels like I'm being stabbed when i breathe in anyway other than short shallow breaths. If I yawn, sneeze, cough, burp, or just try to take a regular breathe, it really hurts. No matter which way I lie down, it hurts, some worse than others, but still intense pain. I'm currently at work, as I feel there is nothing to be gained by going back to the doctor.
The doctor seemed quite puzzled yesterday afternoon when I talked to him. This isn't the first time my "phantom" pains have puzzled someone. I guess my body enjoys being mysterious. I just wish it didn't have to include pain. :-(
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Isn't autumn fabulous? I love this season of the year. I love how the air is so brisk and clean, I love the flowers, the changing of the leaves and the pumpkins. My mum and I decided to do something we haven't really done since my Grandmother passed last year. We had what mum likes to call, a mother daughter day. We went out for breakfast (pancakes!), then went to the farmer's market and I got so many things! I got apples, peaches, half-runners, collard greens, a flat of pansies, two mums, a ghost pumpkin and a regular pumpkin. It was so much fun!
We also went through some of my Grandmother's close that my mum still had and will take them to mum's church to donate to a yard sale. My Grandmother would like that. It was a little tough, going through them, remembering her wearing them. But it needed to be done.
After I left mum, I went to grocery and then came home and emptied the car. I had a ton of stuff to bring in and it took quite a while. I haven't finished planting all my pansies, but I did get the window box done.
Don't you love autumn?
Tomorrow I'm getting my Halloween decorations down and setting them out. Yay!
PS...I did hear from the nurse yesterday, she called to schedule an appointment with the doctor so he can go over my results. My appointment is not until the 14th so I'm assuming it can't be very bad news or he wouldn't wait so long. Dontcha think?
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Why is Casey Anthony not in jail? Why has she not been put under the jail, put on the rack, hung by her toenails and disemboweled, given electric shock treatment, or truth serum or something...until she tells us where her daughter is? She has not said a single truth in this entire event. She knows what happened to her daughter, she knows where she is and so do her parents. She should be tortured!
This reminds me of Susan Smith from many years ago. You remember, the woman who claimed she had been carjacked with her two small children in the backseat but it turned out she drove them into a lake and watched them drown.
People like this make me violently ill. She is guilty and I know it. It is one of those "knowings" although I don't think there is anyone in the world that actually believes she is innocent.
Casey Anthony better hope we never meet. I think I would probably beat the living hell out of her if I ever came face to face with her.
Light a candle, say a prayer for little Caylee Anthony and hope that wherever she is, she is safe now and loved.
Hopefully I will know something tomorrow. I think if I don't, I really will go insane. :-)
Monday, September 29, 2008
In other news, my beastie has been having issues this weekend with being able to hold his bladder. Three times I caught him peeing in the house. Ugh! So, this morning I took him in to the vet to checked out. It turns out that he has a urinary track infection and a very bad ear infection. He is on two more medications and they also did a fructosamine (not sure about the spelling) test to check his blood sugars. Hopefully they will come back normal and we won't have to change his dosage of that. I tell ya, I just don't know how I make it each month. Last Thursday I spent $202 dollars for on his special dog food and supplements. Today it was another $337. Oh My Goodness! I think I spend almost half my check on the animals each month.
Anyway, still no word from the GI. I'm betting it will be later in the week and am trying to keep myself from stressing too much. Ha Ha!
It is hot here today. It went back up to the 80's. I hate it. I think in a few days it is supposed to go back to the 60's. I can't wait for the cooler weather to come back.
Friday, September 26, 2008
The procedure went well and I was released around 2:30 this afternoon. The doctor who did the biopsy said I could not stay by myself tonight so my mum decided I would be staying with her. We ended up getting into a slightly heated argument about it. She wanted me to come to her house and stay so that she'd "be more comfortable." I was so hurt by that. I ended up getting to come home, but not before I had to get snippy about it. I thought we had decided that she would stay here with me. But after about two hours here with me, she decided to go home. She said for me to keep the phone close by in case there was a problem. I tell you, I just don't get it.
As far as the procedure itself, it wasn't too bad. The worst part was the pain afterward. They made me lie on my side, the one they had just poked into, to put pressure on it and help it heal. It really hurt! I have bruises on my side, my hands, my arms. I was poked and prodded so much.
So, I'm sitting on my couch, watching reruns of Two and a Half Men. I hope the pain will lessen soon. They gave me two vicodin a little after 1pm and at 2 when they came to check on me about discharging me they were surprised that the pain hadn't lessened. Unfortunately, they wouldn't give me more drugs.
I should hear something from the doctor about the test results next week. Hopefully, it will be early in the week. I hate waiting...
Thursday, September 25, 2008
The last few weeks I've had a lot on my mind. So much so, that I've been unable to focus on much of anything. Work has required a lot of extra hours and with all the stress I have pretty much lost the ability to sleep. I'm worried. I'm also scared.
I have been having a few health problems and have seen several different doctors. No one can seem to come to a consensus as to what might be wrong with me. Apparently several of the results have not been good. Therefore, tomorrow morning I'll be at the hospital having a biopsy of my liver. The issue that the GI thinks I have is a disease that is only treated with medication that I don't want to take. The side effects will just exacerbate the symptoms I already have. I'm trying not to put the proverbial cart before the horse, but I am worried.
I'm pretty much in a wait and see mode and have been for weeks now while they do one test after another. It is very, very frustrating to me. I don't like to wait for answers. I like to know as soon as possible. I'm expecting a week or two before I'll actually know what is wrong with me. Unfortunately, this whole process has just revived all my memories and feelings from three years ago when I found out I had ovarian cancer. That was the most devastating doctor's visit I have ever had. I'm hoping there won't be another one to rival it.
I debated talking about this here. Honestly, I have no where else to talk about it. I can't share this information with people at work. My family has enough stress on them so talking with them isn't possible. Then my mum... well, mum lives in her own little world where nothing is ever bad and only good things are possible. I found out recently that all this time since my hysterectomy, she has believed that I only had benign tumors. Um...hello...benign tumors? I ended up having to call my gynecologist in order to verify that I had understood my diagnosis correctly. And to top it off, when I told mum I had to have a biopsy, the first words out of her mouth was "don't schedule it for next week, I don't have time." What the F is that? Ugh!
So, I'm on pins and needles, waiting... again. And I'm really, really scared.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Autumn is close at hand and the weather will soon start to cool off. Thank the gods! It has been so hot and I've been so busy with work (which I hate) and been so sick that my yard hasn't been mowed in over two weeks. I'm trying to find someone who will mow for me occasionally.
I picked several small bell peppers, some jalapenos, and a couple of habeneros from the garden this morning. I didn't plant any fall or winter plants because at the time I thought I was moving. I'm feeling very good about my decision to stay put. I still have that other place in mind to move to eventually, when all the stars align. I realize I've never actually shown the property that I want to move to on the blog. So, maybe, if I put it out in the universe more, and let you all see what it is I am wanting, it will help move those stars around. :-)
So, if you want to see my dream home, click here. The area is very nice and the house really does sit down in a hollow so that you are looking up at the hills around it. I am so in love with it and know that it is where I belong. I'll get there eventually, I just need to get my mojo workin'. (And if you are feeling it and want to send energies towards helping me get this place, I'd appreciate it!) :-)
Speaking of mojo, I was talking to a friend of mine the other week and realized after talking to her that for someone who is a witch, I sure don't practice a lot of witchcraft. I'm currently changing that. I've setup my blessings altar and have some things ready to start my enemies altar. I'm finding that my witchcraft, which used to be very fluffy-bunny, light and love; has become what I consider to be more old school. The hoodoo course I'm taking has also had an effect on my craft. In my early years, if someone did something against me or to hurt or harass me, I would wish them love and healing of their "dark" side. Now, if someone comes against me or harasses me or mine, well... all bets are off. I have no qualms anymore about pulling out the black candles and the D.U.M.E oil.
Anyway, I'm rambling, and I'm tired. So, I'm going to go watch the game (Steelers are already up 21-0) and find some lunch. The rest of the day will be continuing work on laundry and getting my craft table cleaned off so I can get some of the spirit catchers made this week before the full moon. I also have to start work on my list of what type of job I want to move to and gird myself up to face another work week.
Friday, September 05, 2008
In December, I will have 10 years with this company. I will start getting longevity checks, I will get more sick days and vacation days. If I can stay for the next 20 years, I can retire at age 59 with full retirement benefits (including health insurance). This is all great stuff and wonderful reasons to tough it out.
I honestly think the job will kill me before I reach my 30 years.
I'm looking for a new job.
Wish me luck.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
No drugs involved...just hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of work.
That is all.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
I'm quite happy with my decision not to move. I have not started any of my projects, but I have started the list so that I know what I want to do to make my life more enjoyable here. Between work and being sick, there doesn't seem to be time to do anything else at all. I'm behind on several craft projects and had planned to have my Hoodoo course homework ready to mail in by the end of August. Hmph...haven't even started it. :-(
I'm doing readings at the shop tomorrow. I've been so revved up lately that I'm hoping things will go well tomorrow. I haven't done a reading for anyone in over a month. Hopefully tomorrow will bring someone who wants me to read for them.
Thanks for all the healing energy, thoughts, well wishes, candles, etc, for my step-mum. The surgery went really well and she is doing amazing. There is even a slight chance that she may not have to have the chemo/radiation, but it is doubtful. I really appreciate the time and thoughts of you all.
Well, time for me to vegge-out in front of the TV and try to relax for a while.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
I love my little cottage, I love my yard, even the overgrown parts of it. I have so many ideas and plans that I want to do here. I felt good for a while about my decision to move, but there has been a little voice in the back of my head that said I should not move. A voice that said that I would continue to be unhappy in a townhouse, surrounded by people.
I spent today at the hospital. My stepmum was diagnosed with breast cancer and today was her surgery. During the day, listening to my dad, aunts and uncle talk, I realized that I'm a runner. Whenever things get the least bit rough, I run. I move or I quit jobs, or I retreat into my hermit side and avoid people, even friends and family. I have been scared all my life. What am I scared of? I really don't know.
What I do know, is that I'm tired of running. I'm sick of not standing up for myself. Most of all, I'm done with being scared.
I am not running anymore.
I'm going to stay in my little cottage. I'm going to do what I can to limit the contact with the annoying neighbor (both physically and magically) and I'm going to make this place what I want it to be. I'm going to enjoy living here and having my own little plot of land to plant and tend. I need that, for my soul to grow and flourish, I need just that.
Am I being silly, wishy-washy, or am I being brave? I think, I am finally being brave.
Monday, August 04, 2008
Change is the one thing that is a constant in life. Everything, everywhere changes. Sometimes change is not what we want to have happen to us. At other times, we want change to happen in our life. Then there is the change that we don’t want to happen, but know that it is for our greater good.
Early in my life, I realized that I knew what I wanted my life to be and I have spent my whole life fighting the changes that would keep me from what I wanted. I have ignored, avoided and run from change. Yet, it was always there, hiding in the shadows and waiting to pounce. Well, change has caught me at last. The last argument I had with my neighbor, this past week, has pushed me over the edge. It has made me accept that I have to change my lifestyle and accept my limitations. I have to let go of old dreams and ideas and open myself up for new ones.
With that in mind, I am putting my house up for sale. Instead of the big house in the country with lots of land that I have always dreamed for and wanted, I’ve decided to purchase a townhouse. I have several requirements that I need in order to feel that I’ll be happy there. One of the requirements is that it has a nice patio area, preferably fenced, with some space for planting flowers, etc. I’ve already started viewing places. One of the places we looked at this weekend was perfect. Plenty of room, lots of light, a nice big kitchen with a breakfast nook, dining room, and the patio area is perfect. It is already fenced, and has lots of space for plantings. There is enough room that I can have a guest room, a sitting room for my grandmother’s furniture and a studio. It is a little pricier than I’d like but it is within my limits.
Part of me is very sad to give up my little cottage and the yard that comes with it. But I have come to understand my physical limitations are just not going to let me enjoy and take care of the yard as I would like. Not being able to be out there working in it and making it what I want, adds to my depression. I tell myself, that without all the stress of the yard, the mean neighbor, I’ll be able to spend more time working on my crafts and other things. I have several other townhomes to look at that I hope will be nice. I’m ready to move and start over. I am ready to accept and embrace this change in my life. I hope that I can make the best of it.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
As far as the productive part, I've cleaned out two tubs of stuff (magazines and books) and have done several loads of laundry, moved my bed, cleaned up most of the living room and currently have a pot of homemade chicken noodle soup simmering on the stove, minus the noodles cause it's too early to do add those just yet.
While I watch season 2 today, I'm going to continue to go through magazines - cutting out the parts I like and tossing the rest. I also hope to finish cleaning the living room, clean the cat boxes, finish the laundry and continue setting up the blessings altar I started yesterday. Lofty goals and aspirations, I know. At least I'm trying to be productive instead of just sitting here doing nothing.
Gotta check the soup and get back to the projects.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
While that doesn't show the whole garden, it does show what we didn't get to on Saturday. And, it was in the worst shape. So, on Wednesday Mum and I had another garden party. 6 and 1/2 hours. I thought I was going to die. It was not a cool day at all and for the most part in the sun. After finishing the garden it was also mowing day. I'm still not sure how I survived. :-)
How did it turn out? Well, I still need to get straw to put down, but it is much, much better.
So, a note to anyone who might want to start a garden and mostly a note to myself...
This is a much better way to garden:
In my garden, I have 4 zucchini plants, 3 yellow crookneck squash, 1 grape tomato, 1 better boy (i think) tomato, 1 jalapeno, 1 habanero, 1 bell pepper and 7 or 8 rouge tomato plants. I also have several of last years freaky plant that showed up in the garden. The spot up front that is empty, is probably going to be filled with collards as soon as the time is right to plant them.
Enough about the garden, I have a question. I'm thinking of re-opening my other blog. Honestly, I miss it. I started that blog, because I needed to explore my "lighter" side. I'm a Gemini and have the expected two sides that come with being a Gemini. I've always felt that this blog represents my darker side. I like it better with the dark background and talking about darker stuff. Where as, the light and airy side wants clean, crisp lines and lots of light. It is a battle that I wage every day. Which side will I show today or even each minute. (It can change, minute by minute, believe me!)
So, if you have read both blogs or if you haven't but would like to check the other out. I'd really like to know what you think. I kind of gave up the other because I felt I was spreading myself too thin and running out of things to say. I have finally realized that I don't have to post every single day. Wow, what a concept!
Anyway, let me know, if you have an opinion. It doesn't mean that I'll take your advice, just that it would be nice to have it. :-)
With that, I'm off to get ready to head out from work. I think tomorrow I will be hitting the theater to see The Dark Knight. I'm absolutely can't wait!
Oh, and Happy Full Moon!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
I'm not one of those people who can go on just 2 or 3 hours of sleep. I do have periods where I get so wound up that I don't sleep for days. But for the most part, I need at least 8 hours of sleep a night. (I never get it, but not for lack of trying!)
I work about 10 hours a day, throw in the swimming and I'm leaving the house at 4:45am and returning at 5:45pm. Then I'm so tired, that I can't get much done. I have a ton of books I want to read, movies I want to watch, I need knitting time ( I realized the other day that I haven't even touched my needles in over 6 months), I need time for my crafts (the wreaths, candle making and other things that I'm working on). Then there is time needed for cleaning, decluttering, cooking and gardening. Not to mention all the blog reading time. I could spend days just reading all the wonderful blogs out there.
I just feel overwhelmed!
So, my question to you, all three of you that read my blog :-), how do you get everything done? Do you have a schedule? Do you just work on one thing until it is done and then do something different?
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
I also talked to my neighbor about the latest goings on between us. She said her dad did all the work and he owns the house and she would talk to him. So last night he showed up and we had a nice conversation and I think we are both okay on where the line is and all that. I'm hoping things will improve between my neighbor and I and that I will be able to stay where I am.
I still want the house in the country and to live there, but it just doesn't seem very practical right now.
I did have one big scare yesterday, when I came home from running errands, I came in and put my stuff down and Dylan was not at the door to greet me (very unusual). I went to the bathroom and saw him lying on the bed as I passed the bedroom and thought that he would jump right up.
After taking care of business, still no Dylan so I went into the bedroom and looked at him, and I swear he was not breathing. There was no movement at all. I said his name a few times and there was no response, I started to panic and yelled his name and up popped his head and he jumped down and came to me. I guess this means his hearing is starting to go. I have noticed I have to repeat myself when I call him or speak a little louder. He also can't see at night. If it is dark, he walks into everything, including me. Oh my.
Now I am back at work and things are not as great as they could be. Hopefully, if I can continue to keep this good attitude, I'll be able to make it a little better.
Now for a picture...
This is also a photo from the beach trip... there is just something about the lights on the water that gets me on this one.
Back to work now...
Sunday, July 06, 2008
I went by Michael's Crafts and picked up a bunch of paints for a new project I'm working on. I tried getting back to work on them the other night, only to discover that the paints I had were very old and dried out. I got a lot of pretty colors and can't wait to see what I can make out of them.
It is pretty dark outside right now. I heard some thunder rumbling by a little bit ago. I think we are in for a few storms tonight. According to the last forecast I saw, we may have storms every day. My poor yard may never get mowed at this rate and my garden? Poor, poor garden... it is so overgrown with grass that I don't know how anything else is growing. I haven't been out there in a few days, so I have to go tomorrow and see if there is anything to be picked. Last time I was in the garden, there were a few jalapenos almost ready to pluck. I'm sure with all this rain, they are ready by now.
I'm still trying to make up my mind about the neighbor/move situation. Yesterday I received a letter in the mail from work, indicating that my pay grade has been increased and I'm now making about $150 more. That does not include whatever pay increase the state deigns to give us this year. My salary is pretty good and with gas prices the way they are, I don't know if moving farther out is going to help things. Trying to find a new job and start over is seeming very overwhelming. December marks 10 years at my company, I'll start getting longevity checks and as my mum says, if I can just hang on for another 20 years, I'll be able to retire, at 59. So, do you see my dilemma? So... c.o.n.f.u.s.i.n.g!
Anyway, I'm off to put away the stuff I bought today and see if any laundry needs to be done. I am very sleepy and really could do with a nap. Oh, and I've got to make some business decisions too, I need to figure out setting up an online shop and how to accept payments, etc. :-) Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!
Oops... I almost forgot the daily photo. Today's photo is from the beach and is of a brown pelican I saw while on a dolphin tour.
Saturday, July 05, 2008
I spent several hours yesterday clearing out magazines. I have hundreds of magazines that I just haven't been able to get rid of. I have lots of Martha Stewart's, Country Living, Country Living Gardener, and Victoria magazines. It is very hard for me to through them out. They are so pretty and I like looking back through them from time to time. So, what I've been doing is going through and cutting out things that I want to save, pretty pictures, decorating ideas, recipes, anything that catches my eye; then I dump the rest of the magazine for recycle. I just don't know what else to do with them. I don't have room to keep them and they are taking up valuable and needed bookshelf space. I have moved several batches of them into plastic tubs, but then the are just there and I forget about them, etc. Cutting them up seemed like the best solution. :-(
Oh, I made up a recipe last night that turned out to be pretty good. I will tweak it a bit the next time I make it, but I really enjoyed it. I took pictures as I made it and will post the recipe and pictures later.
I'm going to try to be productive today, I'm doing readings tomorrow and will not have much time tomorrow for household stuff.
More later... maybe ;-)
Oh, here is another photo from the beach trip, while fishing on the pier, several schools of stingrays came through. It was so magical to watch these beautiful creatures glide through the water...
Friday, July 04, 2008
Today is cleaning day for me, I'm working on rearranging my bedroom and need to get it all cleaned up. I also want to get two new altars started. I'm in need of a blessings altar and I really want to set up a love altar.
I need a run to the craft store for paints and fabric, but that may have to wait until Sunday, I'm doing tarot readings at my friends shop that day and will have to go out anyway.
Tomorrow morning is yard day with my mum. Last Saturday we worked in the front yard and got it looking pretty good. I cut back some bushes and we scrubbed down the front porch. Tomorrow we are going to finish the side and then weed the garden.
I've picked three squash from the garden and I'm planning to experiment with an idea I have for a squash and chicken casserole. If it goes well, I'll post it here.
I'm getting distracted from my focus on my bedroom by Psychic Kids on A&E. It is very interesting.
Well, I need to get back to work.
Here's another photo from the beach trip.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
1 - car broke down and took three days to get fixed putting me behind on my getting ready for my trip
2 - due to car being repaired, couldn't get it inspected and had to take it over 500 miles across the state with expired inspection
3 - first two days at rental house at beach, septic backed up - no toilets, showers, dishwasher or sink... (in small house with 9 people, 1 with diabetes, 3 with ibs, and 2 young children)
4 - first day the 7 yr old gets stung by jellyfish
5 - fourth day my cousins husband, children and my sil were in a wreck (rear-ended with them almost at a stop and the person who hit them going about 50 miles an hour)
6 - spent 4 1/2 hours in emergency room with cousin and sil
7 - spent next day and half dealing with consequences from wreck
8 - last day before leaving, septic repair people came back and spent all day working on septic system so we couldn't use the pool
9 - on day coming home, find out after leaving that we are going an hour + out of our way home in order to get "the best barbecue in the state" to bring home... get to the restaurant and it is CLOSED
10 - finally get home only to discover that my neighbor had cut down my rose bush and several other tree limbs and trees all along the property line - but they had come into my side by about a foot and a half...
So, there is the gist of my miserable life. I'm very close to deciding to move. I just don't think I can continue to put up with the neighbors harassment. I did some digging and it turns out her dad owns the house, so there is no way she will move.
I'm so depressed about it that I can barely function. I'm okay when I'm not at home, but when I am, I just don't care. I have spent hours crying and thinking about what to do and I cannot figure out how to make this decision. I can't really do a reading on myself because I am too biased. I have spent several hours searching online for a job in the area that I need in order to buy the house I want. I haven't found anything yet, but I'm not sure that I'm looking the right way.
Well, thanks for reading/listening...
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
I have had some very bad luck over the two weeks and am anxiously waiting for mercury retrograde to end so that things can get back to normal. Several issues have come up which I'm not going to go into here but this is a brief rundown of the other things that have happened lately:
there was the day a few weeks ago, where I ate my friends lunch (that falafel really looked and tasted like steak) and had to buy two lunches that day
on Monday, I fell going down my front steps to take out the trash. Nothing is broken, but bruises and pain abounds.
yesterday my car would not start and after a rousing game of who is going to tell me the truth just to get it towed, come to find out (at 5:30pm) that the battery and alternator are dead and it will cost approx $588 to fix it. But it can't be fixed until Thursday. So, I'm car less for a few days (very bad timing by the way!) I guess it is a good thing that the economic stimulus check arrived on Monday.
I'm not getting on with my co-workers right now. Two of them got into a religious debate and one of them, that I thought was pretty open minded and kind, actually sat there and insulted me for two hours to my face about my religious beliefs. (Half of which she was wrong about.)
I am so ready for a vacation! We leave early on Saturday morning and are stopping through a small town that my mum and uncle grew up in to visit a friend of the family that is 102. The town is on the way to the beach (sort of) and this may be our last time to see her. I'm looking forward to taking pictures and seeing the town that I used to spend so much time in. I love small towns and would have settled there, but the house I wanted I couldn't buy.
Anyway, then we hit the beach and will be coming back the following Saturday. The weather forecast for the week looks to be perfect! Sun, sand, ocean, pool, fishing, I can't wait! And the best thing about it? No WORK!!!!
Well, I'd better get back to work. I have lots of lists to make to decide what I'm taking with me and also decide what books to get to take. I plan to take lots of pictures and hopefully may even be able to blog from the beach. If not, I'll share when I get back!
Sunday, June 08, 2008
I've also been thinking about what kind of things I could do that would help bring in money. I love gardening and could grow a lot of my vegetables, herbs and live off of those and maybe sell some of my herbs. My friend that owns the shop that I sell my wreaths at would probably buy the herbs for her store. There are so many other things that I could do to make money, creative things.
I guess I just have to figure out how to get started. I don't have much money saved up right now. It has been a bad last few months - emotionally, mentally and fiscally. I want to make an offer on the house. I know I can get the loan with my current income. But with gas prices the way they are, I can't afford to drive 1 1/2 hours to and from work five days a week. I already spoke with my boss and the only leeway she can give me is to work the full 8 hours straight, which would just let me leave an hour earlier than usual. I've also been out so much over the last few months, that I'm running out of sick leave/vacation days. I'm actually in the hole on sick leave but am working that out.
It seems so overwhelming, trying to figure out how to make it happen. I know once I'm there, everything will be fine. It's the getting there that is giving me fits.
I just have to continue to believe that I can make it happen and that it will happen.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
I swear I can barely move it is so hot. I went out this morning around 6 and it was already almost 80 degrees. I hope this is not a sign of what the summer is going to be like. If it is, I'll be spending a lot of time inside. :-)
This time next Saturday I'll be arriving in the Outer Banks for a weeks vacation. I am so excited about it! A week away from work and 8 days at the ocean. I'll be on the beach for both the full moon and the summer solstice. I'm trying to get a list together of the things I will need for "ritual" while I'm there. This is a family vacation and my family are all southern baptists so any ritual will have to be disguised or hidden quietly. Oh well, I'll get some time alone on the sand and that should be good. The weather forecast for the week we are there looks perfect. Oh, I can't wait!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Oh crap... I just realized I have misplaced my iPod. I hope it is on my desk at work. Damn Mercury Retrograde!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
All I want to do is merge two images, so that one shows on top of another. I don't know if I'm stupid, but I can't get it to work. No matter what I do, it comes out wrong or it just doesn't work.
I HATE PHOTOSHOP!!!
Now back to our regular program...
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Below is a closeup of some of the blooms.
I haven't not intended for this to become solely a gardening blog, but it seems that lately that is all I've posted about. I do have other things going on and sometimes I am just not sure about writing about them here.
I have decided to change the name of my home business. I have been calling it SpiritWitch Designs for a while, but just haven't felt comfortable with that name. It just doesn't seem to fit. So, I've finally found one that I like. I'm currently working on getting my logo for it designed. I have an image in mind and just have to figure out how to make it work. I'm not very good with Photoshop and that is the software I'm using to put it together. If anyone knows how to merge two photos together in photoshop, I could sure use some tips.
I've been going to acupuncture once a week and I'm also seeing a counselor and the combination seems to be helping me get out of my depression. I've been feeling much better lately and even made it through an entire week of work last week. Yay me! Oh and the best part... 2 and 1/2 weeks and NO HEADACHE/MIGRAINE!!!!
One other thing that has been helping me is this blog. It seems that every time I check in on her blog, the post that I find is something that seems written just for me. mccabe is coolest chic and such an inspiration.
So, I should get back to work, I feel that I have rambled on enough for now.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Thank you for the birthday wishes. It was a better day than I expected. I had a good day at work (with cake!) and a wonderful dinner with family. I've spent a lot of time outside this weekend and have the sunburn to prove it. Yesterday I spent several hours at the lake yesterday and was very sad to have left my camera at the house. We went out on the boat and rode past a weather station on the lake where an osprey family has taken up residence and had babies. It was so cool to watch them looking after the baby birds.
I had today off work and spent several hours weeding the veggies. Didn't get very far, but did make some progress. I hope to work on it again tomorrow night, but my house is needing attention (laundry, floor sweeping, dusting, etc.) and I feel that might get the upper hand on the weeding! :-)
Oh, I got a beautiful Fuchsia plant this weekend. I'll take pictures and post them tomorrow or the next day. :-)
I'm off to get my gym bag packed. I'm headed back into my swim routine tomorrow and need to try to get a good night's sleep.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Who sings that song? I can't remember... I remember it from Sixteen Candles. :-)
Yep, today is my birthday. I'm not very excited about it. I have told my family that this is the last one that I will acknowledge. :-)
Today I turn 39. My life is nothing like I thought it would be at this age. But it isn't as bad as it could be. I'm starting to feel better about things and really working on my self esteem.
So, how am I spending my birthday? Well, I have a work meeting until 3 then I go for acupuncture (which I just LOVE) and then dinner this evening with mum, brother and sister-in-law. Saturday mum and I are making strawberry jam and syrup and Sunday I'm going to the lake with dad and step-mum. We are off from work on Monday so I will get to have at least one day to rest. :-)
Well, I have a few more things to do before I go to bed, if I go to bed. I made two more wreaths this week and I need to tag them so I can take them by the shop tomorrow.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
I wanted to post to say that I am still around, I have been doing the occasional blog reading and have really enjoyed a lot of it. I've missed a LOT of work, and what hurts the most is that I missed working at the shop last Sunday doing tarot readings. I was so out of it and so confused and in pain that I didn't think it wise to try to give any spiritual counseling to anyone. I feel like I let my friend down. I'm sure she doesn't see it that way, but I do, and I guess that is part of the problem.
But, I'm working on it. I feel better today than I have in weeks and I didn't have the usual argument in my head about whether or not I was going to work today. I just got up, got ready, went to vote and came in to work. That is progress. So hopefully, more posts will be forthcoming, with lots of pretty pictures.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Yep... I have just now finished my taxes. I still have to make copies and take them to the post office, but the forms are done and envelopes addressed.
I know... I'm slack. :-)
Back to regular posting tomorrow!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Today's bloom day photo is crocus. These beautiful purple flowers are blooming in my side yard. Unfortunately they aren't where I can see them on a regular basis. I have to go outside or stand at the breakfast room window on my toes in order to see them. Having the picture helps me to enjoy them more.
I've been giving some thought to having some of my pictures framed. I am by no means a great photographer, but occasionally I feel like I hit on a really good one.
Sunday was pretty slow. I didn't get to do any readings, but I did get to hang out with my friend. I also found a new tarot deck. It is the Llewellyn Tarot. I was a little turned off by the name because I'm not a big fan of Llewellyn Publishers, but when I looked at the pictures, they are just beautiful! It is based on the Welsh legends and it resonates with me, probably because of my welsh heritage. :-) I can't wait to start using them. I may end up reading with those instead of the Robin Wood that I currently use. For all my spell work, I use the Druid Tarot. I like the images in that one too.
Time for me to go. The broom is in the shop waiting to be picked up. I need to mow, but probably will wait until tomorrow (I bought a new mower this weekend and need to learn how to use it!) and I have some crafty stuff I am itching to get to. Only an hour left of work and then I'm free for a few more hours. :-)