Thursday, January 22, 2009

he's home

The beast came home tonight. They say he did well overnight and have switched him back to two insulin shots a day. He still is not eating much and is doing nothing but sleeping since he came home. I had a call from from the internist department at a big state vet school. His doc had called in a referral. I thought she had just called to ask some questions, I didn't realize she wanted him to go there for testing and exams. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to do that. The basic exam and blood work is between six and eight hundred dollars. If he had to spend the night or had to have anything else done, it would go up dramatically. Plus, since the school is almost two hours away, I'd have to take a day or two off from work.

I don't know what to do. I told the internist that I wanted to talk to his doctor and get a better understanding of what they are hoping to get from this. He is only eleven years old. That doesn't seem so old for a lab. My dad's lab lived to be seventeen. But the doctor says that because he has had diabetes for so long (six years) that he is really much older.

Ugh.. maybe after I talk to the doctor I'll feel better or at least know which way to go.

Thanks for keeping him in your thoughts.


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

beastie update

The beast is spending the night at the emergency vet tonight. The vet is concerned that something else is wrong and that is why he can't get regulated with the insulin. They are running a 24 hour glucose curve and so he stays there tonight and in the morning I pick him up and take him back to the regular vet. I assume it is to finish the rest of the glucose curve.

I did make it back to work today. It wasn't too bad a day, long because I was late getting there and had to stay later than usual to make up the time. Tonight will be cold since I don't have my four legged heater with me. :-(

My tarheels play again tonight, so I'm looking forward to that. Hopefully they have their heads in the game and play well.

Anyway, I have nothing else to share tonight. Thanks for all you kind support for the beast. I'm hoping that everything will be okay.


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

keeping promises

So, if you'll remember, yesterday I said that I would be going back to work today and would only be taking time off in emergencies. Yeah..well...I'm not so good with the keeping promises like that. I did have every intention of going, but when I woke up this morning and took the beast out, this is what I found...

Yes.. I will use any excuse to avoid a place that I hate and despise with a passion. Honestly, though, I just feel nothing when I go there. I used to go in and look at my job as being productive and that I was useful to someone. Now, it is just this place that I loathe but yet, pays the bills. That is a very important thing. I try to remind myself that I am very lucky to even have a job as lots of people don't. So, I'm trying to work on my attitude about it. Therefore, I will be back to work tomorrow...

In other news, I finished my k2p2 scarf... or maybe I've already mentioned that? Anyway, here's a pic:

The beast is acting funny today. He's not eating and is sleeping constantly. I'm going to take him in tomorrow for a glucose curve. The roads are too dangerous for me today and plus his vet is not there. I don't remember if I mentioned that over the weekend we changed his insulin. He now takes an animal insulin instead of human insulin and he is taking much less. He was pretty wobbly this morning, so I guess it's good that I stayed home.

yeah.. I know... excuses... :-)


Monday, January 19, 2009

Seems like a Sunday

Today has been a lazy day for me. It seems like a Sunday instead of Monday. I go back to work tomorrow. I am determined not to miss anymore work unless it is an emergency. Today I've been hanging around the house, cooking and general stuff.

I went for a nice drive yesterday. There was a lot of beautiful scenery but I wasn't able to get any photos. Maybe next time, I can get some photos.

Does anyone watch Paranormal State? I can't decide if I like it or hate it. I wish they didn't take everything from a strictly Christian standpoint.

Oh well... better go check my chicken and noodles. I'm getting hungry.


PS: Thanks for all the comments from the music post. I've been trying to keep my head out of my iPod a little more. :-)

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Thursday, January 15, 2009


Do you ever feel lost for words, desperate to be able to express yourself to someone, anyone and not have the ability to put words together that will let them understand what it is you are feeling...thinking?

What about when you find a song that says it all for you? Do you feel better knowing that someone else in the world must be feeling the way you do and you aren't alone, how else could the words to the song be so perfect? Or do you feel somehow less, because you couldn't put the words together right, but they did?

I find for me it is mostly joy at knowing that somehow, I can get across what I'm thinking and feeling. Even if I didn't write the words, the resonate so deeply that they are more perfect than anything I could have said.

This song is breaking my heart right now...

I listen to it over and over and can't stop the tears that fall. I wonder sometimes if I disappeared, if anyone would even notice. I am not important here. I make no impact on the world around me, the people that I interact with each day. In fact, lately, I've barely interacted with anyone. Most of the time, I have my headphones in, listening to my iPod. I never go anywhere without it. At work, it keeps me from hearing the joking and laughing at my expense usually and keeps me from having to make polite conversation with people that I'd rather not even be near.

At home, well, I don't know why I keep them in at home. There is no else here to avoid. I just want to hear the music, maybe it keeps my own thoughts buried.


Monday, January 12, 2009

doggie business

My poor baby boy had to go to hospital today...he has a hematoma in his ear and it needed surgery to repair. Unfortunately, after the exam this morning and hearing my description of some issues we had this weekend - he's been leaving little cow pies behind when he sleeps and also couldn't get into the car by himself, i had to lift his back end for him - the doc decided that we should not put him under anesthesia.

I can't tell you how happy I was to hear this. When I dropped him off this morning, I had a very hard time leaving him. I felt very nervous about the surgery. He is getting older, he's 11 now - but with his diabetes the vet said its more like 15 or so, and he seems to be falling apart.

They drained his ear and wrapped it all up in a bandage. We will have to go back every other day to have the bandage changed for a while. He had this same problem about a year or so ago, except it was the other ear. He looks a little funny and is currently on the floor beside the sofa, snoring to beat the band. At least they wrapped him with a carolina blue bandage. We like our tarheel blue around here...after all, we have tarheel hearts. :-)


Saturday, January 03, 2009

Saturday Sky 2009

“There is one spectacle grander than the sea, that is the sky; there is one spectacle grander than the sky, that is the interior of the soul” ~Victor Hugo