Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Another year older...

I'm another year older...woo hoo. (Um, that was a sarcastic woo hoo.) Yesterday (my birthday) was okay, but it was nothing great. Mom cooked me dinner with several of my favorite foods and a Cold Stone Creamery cake. "T" surprised me by buying me lunch and giving me a cute card. I was very surprised. Tonight I should be mowing, but I'm still fighting the migraine from yesterday so I'm going to wait and do it tomorrow night. I've been doing some things around the house, including dishes and laundry. According to my Seasons of the Witch calendar, tonight is a good time to work in the BOS. So, I'm going to go do that in a few minutes. I've been working on my information about herbs and need to add a few more bits and pieces to the file.

Anywho...I'm off to continue picking up around the house and doing laundry...then I'm hitting my BOS.


Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Happy Birthday... me.... Yes, it is my birthday today. I turn thirty - seven years old. Ugh...
And the day starts with a raging migraine. How wonderful...


Monday, May 22, 2006

Love those comments...

Wow, I feel important. I looked through my site and had sp*m comments. Woohoo... :-)
Just kidding. There wasn't much so it wasn't a big hassle.

I just finished watching the season finale of 24. It was pretty good. I'm looking forward to next season. Of course, I'll have to wait until January, but that is the way it goes. Why am I sitting here watching CSI:Miami? I really do not like David Carruso and even more dislike his character on that show. And yet...I'm too tired to get up and go to bed. So here I sit. The trailer for the movie The Lake House looks interesting. I'm not sure if I like or dislike the premise behind it. I guess if they are communicating through time is it like they are on different astral planes? Hhhmmm...

Speaking of astral planes... I never posted about the channeling event I went to. Well, it was interesting. People that she spoke to really seemed to get 'hits' from her readings. And then she spoke to me... I was very scared because -
a: I don't like crowds
b: I don't like being the center of attention in crowds, and
c: I wasn't sure what to expect.
I had gone for curiosity's sake and wasn't there to "communicate" with the anyone. I also wanted to see how she worked and how people responded.
When she talked to me she said she didn't really get a specific person, more of a collection of souls around me. She asked to hold a piece of my jewelry that no one else had owned. I gave her a necklace I bought a few years ago that I never take off. It is a moonstone with silver and marcasite stars on it. Anyway, she held it for a few minutes and said, "You're here out of curiosity. Where you wanting to speak with anyone?" I said no. Then she asked if I was nervous. I answered yes. She was silent for a few minutes and then asked how long I've been speaking to the dead. I was shocked. Then she looked up at me and said "You're authentic."

I was really shocked. I couldn't believe what she had just said. I have never told anyone about that aspect of my life. Mostly because I didn't really believe it. I've used it at times to try to help people. Once I worked with a police detective who had a very open mind, to help with a murder investigation that was stuck. The victim was a former college professor of mine. I worked my mojo and gave the info to the detective. I was surprised when a few months later I saw in the paper that they had caught the killers and when I read the details, I was even more surprised. It was just as I'd seen it. I've seen other things over the years, and not just about death. I've worked with Tarot for years and have given readings many times. Always with a bag of salt (not literally). What really had an impact on me from the Channeling session was the authentic part. That has always been my biggest fear and my worst handicap with my abilities. I have always been afraid that I was "wrong." I worry that people will think I'm a fraud. I can't begin to explain how hearing her say that I was authentic made me feel in that room full of people. (And it was full!)
Anyway, Saturday's event was very freeing for me. I plan to embrace my gift more now and work with it as much as possible. Hopefully it will help me and others.

Well, I think I must be off to bed. Tomorrow will be a very long day and I'll need my sleep.


Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Sleep...I need sleep...

I'm so tired...the beast has been keeping me up late at nights for some reason. I don't know what is going on but he is constantly barking and waking me up. I swear he's going to give me a stroke one day.

I went to dinner last night with my family and it was not a good thing. I hate having family dinner's with my dad. He makes me ill. He has no respect for me. He treats me like a child and it drives me nuts.

Anyway, my garden seems to be doing well. My squash plants are really coming along. I was able to plant the marigolds around my tomatoes to keep the cutworms away. I'm trying to find a spot with more sun. My yard is much shadier than I thought it would be and it is hard to find the right spot for some plants. I'm thinking of turning one of my flower beds in the front into an herb bed. I'm not sure though.

Tomorrow night I'm going to a channeling event at a local shop that I frequent. I'm not even sure why I'm going but I thought I'd give it a try. It's better than sitting at home on a saturday night doing nothing. Oh, speaking of the shop I love, I went in the other day and found out that three of my wreaths have sold. YAY! I'm so excited! I guess that means I need to get busy making more! :-)

Well, I think I hear cold stone ice cream calling my name. I have some in the freezer that I think would hit the spot right now. Maybe that and a Gilmore Girls marathon would be just what I need. (And planning/designing new wreaths!)


Monday, May 15, 2006

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. I hope you realize how lucky you are to have the opportunity to make such an impact on life and society.

I've had a decent time this past week. I went to the farmer's market yesterday morning and picked up some locally grown strawberries (they are delicious!) and also bought some breads and spinach and fresh shrimp. I cooked the shrimp last night and froze them as I wasn't sure yet what I wanted to make with them. (I'm thinking Jambalaya). This morning I got up early and am listening to a woodpecker hack away at the house across the street. I can hear it hitting the vinyl siding (which I don't have on my house so I know it is the one across the street). I'm sure he or she will work their way over here soom and work on my wood house. :-(

I'm heading out shortly to spend today with my mom and grandmother. Mom has been out of town for a week and so I haven't talked to her a much as usual.

Oh, it turns out I can't get an appointment with my doc until the end of June. So I'll have to sit and wait and wonder how the tests that I took last week came out.

Well, I better head out and get ready to go.


Wednesday, May 10, 2006

I made it through...

The radiologist called me back and I had to go down and bring a "large bottle of a drink that I like". The mixed a bunch of the lemonade I brought with a little bit of gastrograph and then had to sit in the waiting area for an hour and a half and drink just plain lemonade to get it to mix. Then I took the scan and came home. I don't know what I'm going to do if they want me to take another one.

I guess tomorrow I'll call the doctor's office and schedule my appointment. The radiologist said the dr office should have the results by Friday.

I feel so icky right now and have been having sharp pains in my abdomen. I'm sure it is from the test and the dye they inject.

Maybe tomorrow will be better...


Drink me

What the HELL is wrong with me? I was supposed to drink 2 of the below shown small bottles of barium for my CT test this afternoon. I drank about half of the first bottle and began to vomit. So now I sit waiting for the radiologist to call me back after she tries to reach my doc to find out what they want me to do. I'm just going to quit trying to have tests. I'll just let it go unchecked until it kills me. If it is the same thing as before and it grows as slowly as the doc said then I should have several years left. I just give up...

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I love movies...

Have I mentioned that before? I love how easily I fall into the story and basically succumb to the movie until the end. I get lost in them. I do that with books as well. Sometimes I wish I could stay in the stories forever.

I did something today I shouldn't have done. I told myself I wasn't going to do it again...but I did. I spent time with T today. I know I shouldn't have and even as I was driving to meet him I told myself over and over that I didn't want to anything. And...I did it anyway. Stupid...stupid me.

Anyway, I picked up the testing medium for my test tomorrow. They have changed it. It used to be a kool-aid kinda stuff but now it is two medium bottles of white looking stuff. I'm going to have to figure out a way to drink it all. Won't that be fun! :-)

Well, I'm going to get some work done before NCIS and House come on tonight. Two of my favorite shows and I can't wait to see them. I'm watching the movie Sliver right now. I haven't seen it in a really long time and had forgotten what it was like. Not bad...

Perhaps I'll write more later.


Monday, May 08, 2006 Never...

I haven't posted in quite a while. Mainly I haven't had much to say. I've been sick and have been trying to figure out what is wrong with me. Based on my symptoms, I'm beginning to worry. I should find out something in a few weeks, but until then I just do what I do best...worry. You know how sometimes you just have a 'sixth sense' about things? How you just KNOW? I feel that way. I'm worrying that it has come back. Somewhere inside me I know it is back. I don't know what I'll do if it is. Most people would think I had it easy the first time. Maybe I did...but it doesn't mean I didn't loose a lot. I lost more than I can bear sometimes. I think when it was happening, I was in denial or something. I didn't really react at all. It was like nothing was wrong at all. Sometimes it hits me, when I see a new baby or hear a cry. Especially when I see a pregnant woman. Then it really hits hard...
Sometimes I almost wish it had been worse...that I had gone with it when they took it. When they took it, I knew it would come back. I knew it wasn't the end.

Well, the test is Wednesday...then a few weeks from that I'll get the results. I guess I just wait and see.