Monday, July 31, 2006

Root Canal??? NOOOOOOO!!!!!

So, the Tooth saga continues. I went to the dentist first thing this morning and they took an x-ray and said I would have to have a root canal. And they were doing it right then. I asked if I could be treated for the infection first and then come back and he said no, we need to do this now. Then I mentioned that I passed out on Saturday. He stopped cold. He said there was no way that the toothache caused me to pass out and I needed to see my regular doctor immediately. He also took my BP thinking that he would just check it before he started the procedure. It was 176/96. He put away his tools. He sent me to my general physician (who happens to work in the building next to his).
My GP saw me right away when I walked in and explained the situation (even though I haven't been in there in over a year, cause they stopped taking my insurance) and he did blood work, an exam, took my bp (180/120) and then did an ekg. He said the ekg was pretty normal but there were a few things that could have been caused by the high bp. He is going to send for the blood work and when it comes back they may have to adjust my bp meds or add another one. I asked him about the "vertigo" spell I had a month or so and he said he doubted it was vertigo and that probably it was from whatever is causing this problem with my bp and stuff.
So...they will call tomorrow with the blood results. I have to call the dentist in no longer than 2 days cause he wants to get that tooth taken care of ASAP. (He could feel the knot of infection in my upper jaw). I will also probably have to go back to the GP later in the week for more tests/go over new meds, etc.
I guess I don't really mind. So long as the other hasn't returned.

Saturday, July 29, 2006


Wow, I'm in pain. On Wednesday, I had an appointment at the dentist to get filling. Late Thursday the tooth started to hurt a little. By Friday night it was throbbing and spreading the pain throughout one side of my mouth. I woke up every hour on the hour in pain and this morning my mouth feels swollen and I think I have an infection. I've almost passed out twice this morning while I was in the shower. I had to stop and sit down and wait for it to pass.
This is really stupid, but I don't want to call my Dentist at home because his wife was due with their second child on Thursday. Not to mention the fact that I'm afraid of the dentist. I really hate the drills and scrapers and stuff. But, I'm going to have to do something. It hurts so much and is getting worse.
I'm going to go back to bed and try to sleep some more. It doesn't hurt so much in my sleep.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Are you kidding me?

I stepped outside to leave for work at 6:50 this morning. I was sweating within 10 seconds. It is too early in the morning to be this hot. I need to move to the top of Alaska during the summers. Ugh...


Thursday, July 27, 2006


Very cool channel. I love Monty Python and have become addicted to Hex. They call it the British "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" but I don't see it. This has a lot less action. I missed last weeks but I hope to catch up tonight. Oh shit... I think I missed alot last week.



What the hell were they thinking? Ben Kingsley, Michael Madsen, Billy Zane, Michelle Rodriquez...all much better actors than this movie required. I can't believe I wasted brain space on that...ugh.

But I did get halfway through my scarf!! :-)


Is it Friday yet?

I sure wish it was. I know, Friday is tomorrow, but I still have to spend an entire day at work tomorrow. There is a big project I'm working on and it has to be finished soon. So I have spent the last 4 days sitting at my computer ALL DAY! I have barely left my desk to pee much less eat or drink. I'm wiped out! And yet, here I am, at home...on the COMPUTER! I'm mad I tell you... MAD! :-)

I saw a freaky movie today (yes, I can sometimes watch movies while I'm at work) and I'm still a little creeped out about it. It was Wolf Creek and it was scary! I think it is supposed to be a true story which makes it even creepier.

I'm getting ready to watch Bloodrayne, I think. If I don't fall asleep first! It has been a long day! I picked a few more tomatoes tonight and the other night I started making jalapeno poppers. I topped and hollowed out the jalapenos and then filled them with cream cheese. I put them in the freezer and in a few days I'm going to take them out, bread them and deep fry them. Can't wait to have one and see how they are. Yum!

Well, think I'll go and knit while I watch Bloodrayne. I'll let you know how I like it.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I've been tagged...

I've never been tagged before...Thanks to Queen for the tag. Here goes....

5 things always in my purse:

1 - wallet
2 - keys
3 - pens
4 - lip gloss
5 - book

5 things always in my wallet:

1 - drivers license
2 - debit card
3 - checks and check register
4 - change (especially pennies....they never go away)
5 - health insurance card

5 things always in my refrigerator:

1 - lemonade
2 - butter
3 - cheese
4 - ice cream
5 - frozen pizza

5 things always in my closet:

1 - shirts
2 - shoes
3 - change bucket (y'know...where you put all those extra pennies!)
4 - bags/purses
5 - pants

5 things always in my car:

1 - cds
2 - napkins
3 - change (those darn pennies again...)
4 - pens/pencils
5 - bank envelopes

5 things always on my desk:

1 - laptop
2 - whatever I happen to be drinking at the time
3 - jar with pens, pencils, etc.
4 - notepads
5 - plants

5 people to to tag:

1 - all the people I know to tag have already done this...
2 - Moon
3 - anyone that sees this? :-)
4 - your name here
5 - ??

Monday, July 24, 2006

You say tomato...I say...sandwich!

I picked a bunch of tomatoes over the weekend. So today I brought stuff with me to work to make sandwiches. I had a toasted tomato, lettuce and cheese sandwich with mustard and mayo. Yum! Yum! I was going to have BLT's but I didn't get the bacon cooked last night. (Task for tonight!)
My foot is better. It is now a nice shade of purple and still hurts like a mother if I step on it wrong or if the beast steps on it (which I swear he did about 20 times yesterday!) but I can walk better now. I'm still taking it kind of easy though. I was so down about not being able to do anything that my mum came over Saturday late afternoon and mowed my yard for me. I felt so bad cause it felt like it was 150 degrees outside. But she did great and helped me out a great deal. I had asked my brother to do it for me, but neither myself nor my mum thought he'd do it. Now my neighbors won't try to have me evicted! :-)

I haven't done any knitting in few days. I hope to do some tonight. I watched two movies this weekend - War of the Worlds (which was okay) and Failure to Launch (which I found to be quite cute and amusing). I also finished watching Season 5 of Gilmore Girls. I think I saw where Season 6 will be coming out on DVD soon. I hope so, if I can get it before next season starts I can get caught up. :-) At least, I think last season was season 6. I'll have to check on that.

I am still reading "The Historian" by Elizabeth Kostova. I haven't had much reading time lately but I hope to get back to it soon. I have a ton of other books I'd like to read. I need to figure out how to better use my time. I'm such a procrastinator! At least I admit it though. :-)

Well, not really much else to say. The dr is having me take some sort of saliva test so that they can create a "compound" designed for me for my ERT. I had asked if I could just go ahead and stop taking any of it but she vetoed that. She says I'm too young and there are too many years of menapause ahead of me. Oh joy!

Oh, I almost forgot. I had the strangest dream last night and the main thing that stood out was that some one speaking to me called me KaiJin (and for some reason I'm sure that is how it is spelled). I have no idea what this means. I googled it but could only come up with the fact that it is some sort of video game. I know it is important for me to figure this out and what it means. When I woke up I new that dream was important. I can remember other details but that stood out the most. So, if anyone reads this and knows what KaiJin means, please let me know.

Okay, back to work...

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Thank you...I'll be here all week...

I feel so stupid... I was at work at a site headed up the stairs and all of a sudden I got dizzy and lost my footing. I tripped, I spilled punch all over the stairs, almost made three people behind me fall and since my hair was down I had punch in my hair and all over my shirt. I finally made it upstairs to the bathroom where I washed the punch off my arms and tried to get it off my shirt and then...the throbbing began. I think I broke my big toe. It is KILLING me! It hurts so much and I was so embarrased. I didn't tell anyone about my being dizzy so they think I'm just a clutz. Oh, boy!


Wednesday, July 19, 2006


I'm feeling that way right now...very headstrong. I'm also listening to it on the headphones. I'm in kind of a weird mood. I'm arguing with 'T' and it is causing issues in other aspects of my life.

Yep, impatient of control, advice or suggestions...that's me. I'm tired of 'T' sticking their nose in where it doesn't belong. And then when I get mad about it, biting my head off as if it is my fault. Arrgh...

So anyway, {on headphones: The Silence - Staind}, I'm feeling very frustrated with lots of things lately. I had dinner with my father, stepmother and brother and SIL last night and it seemed like I was just there to fill a seat. They spent the whole evening talking around me or just asking bro and sil questions. They asked about going back to Cancun this winter and about going to a restaurant near where I live but never asked me if I wanted to go. It was very weird. I told sil today that it seems I'm always the last to know. My Stepmom used to email and call me all the time with stuff and now she is always calling my sil. I only get asked to go to stuff the last minute as kind of an afterthought. I really must get off the pitty pot.

I gotta get back to work. {Papercut - Linkin Park} Must mow the yard when I get home and if I have time I'll write again tonight. Ugh...


Tuesday, July 18, 2006 wait...Tuesday?

What day is it? It feels like Monday. It has been a crappy day all day and it is hotter than a mo-fo outside. I was in a fog most of yesterday so today has felt like a Monday. I'm in such a crabby mood and I am supposed to go to dinner tonight with my father, stepmother, brother and SIL and I really don't want to. My house is a wreck, my yard hasn't been mowed in two weeks and I think I'm wearing my last clean pair of undies. And you know what is so sad? ... I just... Don't.... Care.
I gotta get out of this funk I'm in. I slept most all day yesterday, except for a dentist appointment that I managed to drag my lazy butt up for. They had rescheduled me twice and then called on Friday to confirm but wanted me to come in earlier than they had scheduled me for and I agreed. I showed up on time and then they act as if I don't even have an appointment. But the receptionist says they would see me in a few minutes. Finally, 30 minutes later, they call me back. The lady doing the checkup is new, and rude as hell. She asks to go over my medical history and then asks about my oc and if I'm on meds for that. I explain no, they think they got it all with surgery and I didn't have to have c and r treatments. Then two minutes later she asks me if I'm pregnant. WTF?
Anyway, she gets on me about flossing after practiacally slicing my gums into shreds then another lady comes in and asks if she is about done because there is a man who has been waiting 5 minutes. Um, Hello? So guess what they do so the gentleman (who isn't complaining btw) doesn't have to wait any longer? They move me. They made me get up and go into another room so the dentist could see me. Then...he comes in and tells me I have a cavity in a place where they have already filled 4 times previously. I mention this and they are like Oh, my we will have to look into that. I say again, WTF?
So needless to say when I left there I was not in any better of a mood than when I went in. I went home and went back to bed.
I did manage to get up this morning and make it in to work, but it took a lot of arguing with myself to do it. I hope I can make myself get up tomorrow.
Okay, I'm stepping down from the bitch stool now.
In other news, I picked another zucchini yesterday, and a tomato and also two green peppers. I think I'll have to freeze the bell peppers as i don't know that I'll be doing any cooking anytime soon. But I can freeze them and then use them in my chilli in the winter.
I've also started reading The Historian, by Elizabeth Kostova. It is pretty interesting. I've been wanting to read it since it first came out, and finally I am getting the chance. I hadn't realized it was such a big book. 642 pages!

Well, I'm off. Need to do some more work before the day is out.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

What am I thinking?

I'm such an idiot sometimes. I still didn't get my yard mowed, mostly due to the heat and the pounding, blinding bastards in my head with sledgehammers that are determined to punch a hole in my head. Anyway, I'm an idiot because I spent the last 45 minutes shaving my legs, showering and doing my doing my nails. Why, do you ask? Because...'T' said he "might" come by tonight before heading home after his meeting. I'm so stupid!!! I know he isn't going to stop by and I know he was kidding when he said it...but I found myself preparing as if we had a hot date or something. Jeez... stupid, stupid, stupid.

Well, I'm going to try to clean out some emails. I thought NCIS would be on and I was excited to sit and watch that and knit, but it isn't on tonight. :-( I'll have to see if I can find anything else to watch.


Migraines suck...

I hate migraines. I've had this same one now for over 24 hours. I didn't get my yard mowed last night. It was all I could do to drive home and get in the bed. I'm at work but should be in the bed with the windows darkened and no sounds at all. I hate this. Why do I have to get these so often? I've been examined by several doctors and specialists about my migraines and they all say they can find no physical cause for them. Argh. I'm so miserable right now. All these lights and all the noise at the office. I have to make it through the day as I haven't got any sick leave to take. I don't know...

The other thing bothering me right now is that I've found some well, lumps - for lack of a better word, in my abdomen. I'm not sure what they are. They don't hurt when I push on them so that makes me worry. With my history it could be something bad. These are in an area higher than where they do the CT scans. I'm not sure if I should call the doctor or not. If I do, I don't know what doctor to call. The GI doctor dropped me and this isn't an area of expertise for my gyn-doctor. I should probably wait a while and see what happens only I've been waiting. I found these about a year ago. And yes they are getting bigger. At the time I first found them I thought it was just scar tissue from my surgery, but the more I think about it I realize the area it is in is not where the surgery was done. I don't know... I just don't know. I can't think straight when my head hurts like this.


Monday, July 10, 2006

It's definitely Monday...

Maybe this post should be titled: "Why did I bother to get out of bed?". I'm tired. I can barely hold my eyes open and it isn't even noon yet. Thanks for the comments from my post yesterday. It is nice to know that someone understands. I found out my brother lost his job and he is very depressed. Apparently he spends most days asleep on the couch not wanting to do anything. I know exactly how he feels. I feel that way often, but I know if I don't get up I'll have no way to keep my house and feed the pets, etc. I am trying to figure out how best to broach this with him. SIL hasn't told him yet that I know what is going on. She says she will tell him tonight and let me know how he reacts. I'm so worried about him.

As I sit at my desk at work, waiting for something to need to be done, I can feel a migraine building behind my eyes. I think it is from the lack of sleep and all the nightmares and dreams and also the stress I'm letting myself develop worrying about my brother and Grandmother. I wish I could figure out how to let it go.

I did start knitting again last night. I started work on the light blue fun fur scarf that SIL's aunt asked me to knit for her back in February. I really enjoyed working on it last night. I'd forgotten how much fun it is to sit and knit. I'm also hoping it will help keep me from the fridge while I watch tv. I'm a boredom eater and I've apparently been very bored lately. I need to go to the health center and weigh this morning. I might do that in a few minutes. I haven't weighed in more than two weeks and I usually go once a week. I think I'm just afraid to see the number on the scale.

'T' is back to ignoring me again. Which, I suppose, is a good thing. I realized this weekend that I'm moving past him. For the last few years I've spent almost every waking moment wondering what he is doing and where he was and trying to get any scrap of attention from him I could. But I realized this weekend, that I hardly think about him at all when I'm not around him. I consider that to be very good progress! :-) Maybe someday I'll find a way to not be around him at all, but until then...I'll continue to remember that I don't need him.

I'm trying something new today with my hair. I had it highlighted on Friday (it took 3 hours) and am not sure how I feel about the results. I had mentioned to my stylist that I have never colored my hair blonde. I've always gone with red/auburn because my hair is dark brown. However, she decided to go with blondish highlights. I look in the mirror and feel like I should be a surfer or something. I can't decide if I like it or not. Oh...back to the something different, I am wearing it down today. I usually start off with it down and then put it up by mid morning. I'm getting a perm in two weeks and I want to get used to having it down so I'll be used to it when I get the perm. I am not paying all that money to get a perm (I have a LOT of LONG hair) just to put it up all the time. So, I'm trying to get used to having it down. We shall see how that goes...

Well, I suppose I should try to do some work. Maybe I'll go weigh first.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Sunday...or Do I have to go back to work tomorrow?

I wish I didn't have to go back to work tomorrow. I really would like another day of staying at home and doing nothing. Today was a typical Sunday for me and my family. I went to mum's and had lunch with her, my uncle and Grandmother. Stopped off to see my brother and sil on my way home and then vegetated with a book once I arrived home. I've just finished some mac and cheese that I have been craving for about two weeks. I'm sure it will upset my stomach, but sometimes you just have to have a taste of something that you miss.

Anywho, I've been kind of down lately about a lot of things. Other than my usual sadness about my lack of family, is the status of my Grandmother. I lost my paternal Grandmother (whom I thought the world revolved around) when I was 13. She was my world. She was my moon and stars and sun in the heavens. She was the one person that I new loved me unconditionally. I was very insecure growing up and she always gave me the support and love I needed. (Okay, who am I trying to kid, I'm still insecure). Anyway, she died very suddenly and unexpectedly and it tore that side of the family to pieces.

My maternal Grandmother has always been the strongest person I know. She was a teacher and principal as a career. She always valued education and was always staying on me to study harder and be more like my mother. She liked to tell stories about how when my mum was a kid she would have to force her to quit studying and go to bed late at night. Anyway, my Grandmother loved reading and doing the crossword puzzles and playing cards. We lost my Grandfather when I was 17 and while it was very hard for her, she managed to hold us all together after he passed. She lived four hours from us and it was hard to go and see her.

Anyway, I'm making this too long. My Grandmother is declining in health. Four years ago she fell and broke her hip and she has been getting worse since then. She has never been able to hear very well and it is now almost impossible for her to hear. Her legs are giving out and she has macular degerneration. The only thing she can do is sit and watch tv. She can't see to read (even the large print) and she can't do the crosswords anymore. She used to sew and knit and crochet but she can't hold the needles anymore. Her mind has always been sharp as a tack and now it isn't. She is forgetting everything. She can't even remember our names much more. It is just killing me watching her fall apart like this. Why do we have to get old?


Saturday, July 08, 2006

mmmmm .... margarita....

So tonight was supposed to be mexican food night at my house. I have been wanting to have margarita night for a while and decided to make fajitas with my margaritas. I made margaritas with a mix I have had for a long time and tequila that I bought when I was in Cancun. I think the mix was just really old because it tasted really funny. Either that or the tequila is REALLY potent. So, I trashed that bit and made strawberry daquries. I love mixed drinks. However, I don't drink very often. And because I don't drink often, it takes very little for me to get drunk or even tipsy. Well, I've drunk about half the batch and I'm well past tipsy! :-)

I did make my fajitas and they were fabulous! I sauteed onion and a green bell pepper (fresh from my garden) with mushrooms and a sliced jalapeno (also from my garden) in butter. I added some steak that I'd marinated for several hours in a fajita seasoning mixed in beer. I also added some sliced cherry tomatoes near the end. When that was done I put the mix in a heated tortilla and layered shredded monterey jack, cheddar, and mozzerella cheeses, sour cream and salsa. It was so delicious! But it was very, very hot! It must have been the jalapeno cooking with the steak. I was only able to eat one fajita because it was so hot. But that just means I'll have more for later!
I'm getting sleepy... a side effect of the alcohol and I think I'll head to bed now. I'm reading a book that I'm enjoying and I would like to get back to it. OOhh.. I just saw where Blade II is getting ready to come on. Maybe I should stay up and watch it...well, until I pass out! :-)


Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy 4th of July!

Happy 4th to anyone and everyone out there that sees this post. I hope everyone has a safe day. I spent most of it relaxing and watching tv. I just got back from my mum's for a cookout. We had steak, baked potato, salad and bread. It was yummy! Now I'm watching NCIS season one on DVD and then I'm going to watch House in little bit.

I'm going to go now and finish relaxing. I wish I didn't have to go back to work tomorrow. Bleh...


Monday, July 03, 2006

Long weekend...

It feels like I had a long weekend, but I didn't. I went shopping with SIL on Friday afternoon and didn't spend nearly as much money as I thought I would. Yay for me and self control. I did get a neat cookbook that I can't wait to use called "The Well-Filled Tortilla". :-)
Saturday I went shopping with mum and lunch with Grandmother. After lunch I wasn't feeling well so I took at nap at her house. Sunday was the same and also another nap. I mostly stayed indoors on Sunday afternoon because of the heat. I hope to do the same today but mum has plans to come over after work and help in the yard some more. I think it is too hot to be out there, but there is no stopping her.
When I got home yesterday I was flipping channels and saw on BBC America a show called "Hex". It is pretty interesting. I don't quite get all the nuances and stuff yet, but I really liked it and ended up watching a few of them (they were having some sort of marathon). I was shocked when they actually showed someone "flipping the bird" at another person. Then I remembered this is a British TV show and they take things farther than the puritanical americans do. :-)
So, I'm back at work today and hoping for a slow day because it is just too hot to go anywhere. I forgot to bring my lunch but have decided to just find something in the machine.
Anywho, I'm gonna run now and find something to do.