Thursday, February 02, 2006

challenges and decisions...

I've been challenged today and I'm not sure what decision to make. I know I've mentioned my 'decision' to stay away from a certain friend (here known as T). I also know I've mentioned how bad he is for me and that I failed miserably the other week in my efforts to stay away from him and be a good girl. Well, after thinking about it and realizing just how bad I felt about what had happened, I decided to go back to my original plan and stay away from him. Apparently he has other plans. He's never been so attentive and flirty as he has the last few months. And it is just getting worse. The more determined I am to NOT have anything but a normal friendship with him, the more determined he seems to be to be more than friends. I'm so confused. I am trying to just take things one day at a time. He is making this very difficult. See the problem is...I'm in love with him. I know we can't be together and shouldn't be together and I know he doesn't love me. However, I'm powerless when he is around. I try saying no and sometimes I even manage to stick to it. But somehow, I always end up giving in. Ugh...

I've been working on a scarf tonight. It is for my aunt. She had asked me over a year ago and I'm just getting to it. I'm going to see her next week and want to have it done to give to her. It is the third one like it that I have done. Light blue red heart with light blue fun fur. Just a basic scarf, but I like it. I've got one more to make for someone else that asked and then I can start a new project. I took some pics with a pda that has a camera because I don't have a digital camera and I hope to post those tomorrow. I want to learn something new in knitting but I also want to knit something for myself. I have been wanting one of those big thick extra long scarfs. I'm not sure what they are called or even if there is a special name for them, but that is what I want to do. Some friends at work gave me a pattern for a booda bag? (I think that is what it is called) and I'd like to try that. I've only ever done scarfs and I'm a little nervous about branching out, but I have to do it. I'm getting so bored with scarfs.

Anywho, my heels are holding on against maryland tonight. There is still a lot of time left so I hope they can hold on and win. I get to go on Saturday to Chapel Hill and see them play against Clemson. I'm pretty syked about it. I've been to a few games before and I always enjoy it.

I also took some pics of my pet babies and hope to post some of those. I've got to get busy figuring out what to take on my trip. I'm going on a trip out of the country next weekend and I need to get planning. I'm one of those people that has to have a plan for everything. I'm really not good at being spontaneous when it comes to most things. But with some things I can be spontaneous.

Hmmm.... I think I hear a klondike bar calling my name... or maybe some sherbert. I want something sweet. Wish I had a smoothie. :-)

They are calling for some winter weather finally. I hope to see some before I leave for my trip and then again when I get back. It will be warm where I'm going and I hope it won't be too hot. I don't like heat. :-)

I'm almost ready for Sunday's game. I sure hope the Steelers can pull it off and win. They so deserve it. I would really like to see the Bus get a ring before he retires. I'm pretty sure this is his last year.

Oh, what a bad witch...I almost forgot to wish everyone a happy Imbolc. I didn't make any plans to celebrate. I wish I had. I haven't figured out the best way to have rituals here. I don't really have a good place in the house and my back yard is a little too open to the neighbors for my comfort right now.

Anyway, I'd best go. I should do some more knitting although I have a mission I could work on . I'm trying to find some specific information about my grandfather and I should probably do some research on it.


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