I finally did it. I had come to the conclusion that I had put so much energy into my wants regarding "T" that it had taken on a life of it's own. It had been over four years since things started. But now they have ended. On Wednesday, I worked a spell using the powerful banishing and releasing time that it was and I now finally feel free. Yesterday I was able to say no to him for the first time in years and today I explained why I had said no. He seemed to understand and said that he thought it was for the best.
The important thing is that I feel free. I'm glad that it is over. I still care about him, but I don't feel as if I can't live without him.
So, I'm achieved a big step along my new path. I'm trying to clean out things in my life that I know are not working for me or that are hindering me in reaching my goals. I really think that ending the bad relationship was the biggest step. But I still have work to do.
Now I have to decide what to do about my job. I'm very frustrated by it and am feeling very disgruntled. I am not really sure just what to do, but I think the answer will come in time. It seems as though answers have been falling in my lap quite a bit lately.
I'll have to see where they lead.