Thursday, November 08, 2007

new dreams fade away...

I found out today that I will not be able to afford the property that I have been looking at purchasing. I can get the loan without a problem, but I would not have enough money to live on each month after the house payment was made.

I think the reason that I never became too excited about this opportunity was that I knew it wouldn't happen. I have begun to expect any dream that I have to be shot down or taken away. The only good thing that came from my meeting today was that I learned that I could actually afford more than I thought I could. I suppose I will keep looking for a property like the one I wanted, but I don't believe I will ever find it.

I've been wondering what I did in a past life or even in this one to deserve so much heartbreak. I think I've had more than my fair share. It would be nice if at least one of my dreams could come true.

I've been told on more than one occasion that I am an empath. It makes it so much harder to hold back the pain when I have to feel everyone else's too.

This has hit me harder than I'd thought. I hope to put an end to the pity party tonight and will be back to regular posting tomorrow. Maybe I'll try some knitting to ease the pain. Or maybe I'll just go to bed early.