Friday

Woohoo...It's Friday! I'm actually kinda happy about this one. Usually I'm down on Fridays as I have to be away from certain people for two days and also because I just don't do well without a daily schedule to stick to.

I hope to get my garden tilled tomorrow so that I can start to plant. I also have to finish going through some files of papers getting everything ready to do my taxes. I can't believe that I'm still not done with my taxes. I'm never this far behind.

And then on Sunday I begin the lovely process of prepping for a medical test on Tuesday. It isn't a fun test and the prep is a lot less fun. (Use your imagination!)

Anywho, I'm still so confused about T. One minute he is flirting and coming onto me and acting as if he cares about me and the next minute he is ignoring me. It is so difficult to deal with. Maybe these few days will help. I don't know why I think that when I was away from him for over six weeks and he never even contacted me. Of course when I got back he said he had missed me and really seemed like he had. I don't know. I'm so confused!

Oh well, time to start planning my vegetable garden. Tomatoes...squash....peppers....hhhmmm..what else do I want?

Blessings
~*~

Lots of thoughts

There are so many thoughts running through my mind. Thoughts about the day I had at work. Thoughts about the night to come. Thoughts about my life and what to do with it and what is missing from it. Too many thoughts. Mostly my thoughts center around one thing... the man I love. I love him so much. I miss him all the time. I don't understand how I can love someone so much that isn't supposed to be mine. We are so perfect for each other. Everyone I know thinks that we belong together. Even people that I don't know will see us out together and comment on what a nice couple we make. I just wish we were a couple. I would do anything for him and he knows it. I think sometimes he takes advantage of that, but only because I let him. I could say no. At least I think I could. If I could get up the courage. I have tried to say no before. But, I haven't actually been able to get the words out. I love him. I don't think he believed me when I said it. I've actually never said it to his face. I have said it in an email and I've said it on the phone. But I've never said it to his face. I think I'm scared to. I think I'm scared of the rejection that I'm sure will follow. I know that since he doesn't reciprocate my feelings and won't actually commit that he isn't for me. However, I just can't let go. I just can't stop loving him. No matter how badly I want to.

Blessings
~*~

Sickly...

I'm home sick today. Migraine city, plus cough and freezing to death. So here I sit, cuddled on my couch with a pillow and blanket, watching season 1 of Charmed on dvd. I'm tired and hungry but I don't have the energy to fix anything.

I love the house on Charmed. It is so very cool. I've always wanted an old house like that. I acutally had an old house a few years back. I'd been living in my grandparents old house and I tried to buy it but the mean old uncle wouldn't sell it to me. I still hate him for it. That house was so special to me. I grew up in it and now it belongs to someone else. Someone who doesn't appreciate it for what it is.

Anywho, I need to stop thinking about that. I always get very sad when I think about that.

I'm wanting to work in my garden and do some knitting, but I can't do either with this finger. It is still hurting but I'm able to move it more today than before. Anywho, maybe more later.
Blessings,
~*~

The hand is some better today. The area around the broken finger isn't as sore as yesterday but the finger is still stiff and painful.

T is causing trouble for me again. I really think I hate him sometimes. He's gone from being a tease last week to just a general jerk this week. I'd like to knock some sense into his big head, but he wouldn't listen. Maybe I'm the one that needs some sense knocked into me. I have got to get over my feelings for him.

I'm also frustrated with one of my doctors. They ran some tests last week and I still don't have the results. I called this morning to check and they haven't called me back yet. So, I'm frustrated not knowing what is wrong. Oh well, nothing else I can do about it.

I wish I could see the eclipse tomorrow. I've always been fascinated by those. They are just so magical. I guess tonight I'll work on my taxes some more. I need to do some cleaning, but don't know how that will work with one hand. Most of what I have to do requires two hands. :-)

Oh well, only an hour left of work... bleh...

Blessings
~*~

The Finger

Here it is... It's a blurry pic (sorry), but you can still tell where it got caught in the door. They don't think I'll lose the nail (thank the goddess):



Here is the underside of the finger:


Here it is in the splint:




Fun, huh? It was quite an interesting morning trying to shower and wash all my hair (I have very long, thick hair). :-)

It's a sign.... but of what?

Okay, I'm not normally real clumsy or accident prone. But yesterday I did a doozie. I somehow managed to close the door to my car with my left hand and get said hand caught in the door. The door was completely latched! OW! I even managed to do it without cursing! That takes talent! :-)

I ended up suffering in silence for about 5 hours before I went to the urgent care place. They said I cracked the tip of the bone. So I sit here with a bag of ice on my hand, a splint on my finger and having to do everything with one hand. Ugh...

Now, if I could only figure out what it means...

Family

This morning I had brunch with my brother, sister in law, father and stepmother and some of her friends. This afternoon I am meeting with my aunt and a cousin I have never met to discuss family history. (I'm the resident family historian.) Tonight I have to have dinner with said aunt and cousin and again with father and stepmother. And tomorrow night dinner again with said aunt, father and stepmother and brother and sister in law and friend that we had breakfast with today. Wow...too much family stuff. I am the black sheep of the family. I'm the rebel. I'm very rarely invited to things that have to do with this side of my family. But I'm the one with all the information that is needed, so ...

Great to be needed, huh? :-)

Unsettled

I'm feeling very unsettled lately. I have no idea what it is that is bothering me. There are several things happening around and to me lately that could be causing it, but something tells me it is something else entirely. I just feel... off. I feel closed in and almost buried. I do not know what it is, but I must find a way to shake it.

Here is a picture of the last wreath I made. It is called a Spirit Wreath and is sold in a very cool shop in my town. I make them between the New Moon and the Full Moon and they are charged on the Full Moon with the intent of what they were created for. This one is Spirit of Luck.


The picture isn't great, I must get a digital camera soon. The ribbon is a light green and it as metallic gold stars and green shamrock around the outside. The bag on the right contains an herbal mixture for luck and there is also a buckeye. Anywho, just something I do sometimes that I thought I would share.

I need to get back to knitting. I 'm thinking of knitting an altar cloth and felting it. Of course, I've never felted anything and have only ever knit scarves. I would like to try something new though. A store in town is going to have a Learn to Knit class in April that I think I might take. I really want to learn to do more with it.

I just can't shake this icky feeling. Something is wrong and I don't know who it is or where. I hate waiting for the answer. I get these feelings about things sometimes and then they actually happen, or someone will tell me about something that has happened and I'll just know it.

Well, it isn't as if I can force it, so I'll just wait. I think I'll go to bed. The migraine is getting stronger and I'd like to get an early start to the day tomorrow. I have a lot I'd like to get done.
Blessings
~*~

I...need...heat...

I'm freezing! I don't know what is going on, but the heat in my house appears to not be working! The thermostat is set for 66 but is currently reading 63 and showing that the heat is running (which it isn't because it is one of those furnaces that you can hear kick on before the blower actually kicks in). So, I set the thermostat up to 71 which should have made it kick on and it didn't. So... I'm freezing! I guess I'll have to call the heating guys tomorrow. Aside from being upset about this because I'm so cold, is the fact that the replaced the heating and air systems when I bought the house (in fact, they were doing the work the day I closed on the house and for a few days after) and it has only been 6 months since I bought it so it certainly shouldn't be broken. Anywho...did I mention that I'm FREEZING??? I'm going to have to go to bed just to get warm.

I've been so busy I haven't had a chance to work on the blog much the last day or two. I'd like to add some more stuff. I have a pic of the last wreath I made that I want to post. But probably won't do it tonight. Maybe tomorrow...

Well, I'm off to bed and a book.
Blessings
~*~

Yay!

I'm so happy! I was able to add the picture I wanted to the profile and even figured out how to add the tag under it to give credit to the artist (sure don't want to break that copyright thing and get in trouble). So, now that is done (only took me 2 hours to figure it out) I can go to bed and try to get this migraine to go away. Yay! hee hee

Blessings
~*~

New Look

So, I was able to change my blog. I like this better. I like the feel and the look. I'm still trying to figure out a lot of how to change stuff. Mostly I'm unable to get a pic to post in my profile. But I'm still working on it. I don't want to put one of myself. I have found a pic that I love and want to use but I have to fiugre out a way to put a credit line under it so I don't break copyright, etc. Anywho, I'm gonna see if I can find some more things to put on my blog, a visitor counter and other fun stuff.

Blessings
~*~

Long time... no posting...

I need a change. I think I want to change my blog, the name, the look, everything. I guess I just start a new one? I wonder if I can move the posts I've made to this one to another blog. I'll have to look into that. I could go ahead and start the new blog. If I do, I'll make a post here so that anyone who is interested can check out the other one.
Blessings
~*~

I'm pissed

Okay, now I'm pissed. I just found out that a friend of mine (wait, make that a former friend of mine) has been lying to me. She is the only person that knows the whole story about me and my 'friend' "T". She has supported me through the rocky relationship that we have been sharing for the last 3 years and has stood behind me in every problem. I just found out she's been telling him things that she has told me the complete opposite of in regards to he and I. I'm so hurt and pissed. I thought she was my friend. I guess I'm learning everything the hard way lately. Maybe it is time to find a new job and move. I'll know better than to tell her anything again or to even believe anything she says.

Thank the Goddess it is Friday...

It has been a long week. I've been the only person on my team available at work. The rest have been in class all week. It went a lot more smoothly than I was anticipating, but it still wore me out. I've been getting to bed about 9 every night and not having the energy to do anything at all around the house. I also haven't had time for knitting or any other craft projects or working in my yard. It has been great weather for yard work this week. I need to make a few wreaths to take to my favorite shop. Last I heard, the last bunch I took in haven't sold yet, but the owner says not to fret that she is confident they will sell. She even asked me to go ahead and make a few more. I'll have to post a pic of one when I get the next batch done. I'm not sure when the full moon is this month. I think it is on Tuesday or Wednesday next week and that doesn't leave me much time. I have family coming in this weekend so I'll be tied up with that all weekend. There is just too much to do!

I'm so tired. I have to at least stay awake another hour or so to see the second half of the UNC vs UVA game. I love basketball season! Well, College Basketball season that is. I've never really like pro basketball. March Madness is definitely in effect in my house. :-)

Blessings
~*~

Go Heels! 

GO TARHEELS!!!!!!

HOW BOUT THEM HEELS!?!?!?!?!? Tyler Hansbrough rocks! He is the best freshman I've seen in years! No one thought they'd be this good after all those players left last year. Bye Bye Reddick! Tyler forclosed on the Landlord! ACC Championship, here we come!

Blessings
~*~

Break time...

I had a few mintues of downtime while I wait for a server to finish updating so I figured I'd pop on in here and express a few thoughts. I'm tired. I'm down in the bone tired. Do you ever get that way? Where you can barely scrape up enough energy to breathe? Well, that is how I'm feeling today. There is still some evil little creature chipping away at my brain with a sledgehammer. It's been going for quite a while now. I'm not sure how much I can take. I guess if it keeps up I'll have to take one of the magic pills that make me loopey and knock me out. But I can't do that until tonight.

I think I need a new look for my blog. I have searched around for a new template, but can't find one that I really love. I'll have to keep looking. If I knew anything about web page design I'd start making my own. I guess I could add that to the million and three things I want to do at some point. Oh well...

A good friend of mine welcomed their new baby into the world yesterday. I'm very happy for he and his family. I know he'd been wanting to have more children for the longest time. It must be nice to be able to bring a new person into the world. I wish I had some idea of what it is like to experince that. Maybe in my next life. :-(

Looks like the updates are almost done, so I'd better get back to the grind.
Blessings

~*~

Spring? ... or one more blast of Winter...

So, is spring really here? Or will we get one more blast of winter before Springs arrival? I can't decide which I want. I really hate that I haven't seen any real snow this year. However, I'm really enjoying the warm weather and being able to open my windows and get fresh air and I love watching the flowers come up and the trees bloom. But I really want SNOW!

I'm so tired today. This migraine is really kicking tonight. I've had this one for a few days now and I'm not sure how much longer I can take it. I'm not going to get any breaks next week cause I'll be the only one on my team at work. The others will be in a class or on vacation. Anyway, I've got to find a way to get rid of this, or at least to get it lighten up some.

Well, gotta run, time for my Heels to kick some UVA booty. :-)

Blessing
~*~