Thursday, March 30, 2006

Lots of thoughts

There are so many thoughts running through my mind. Thoughts about the day I had at work. Thoughts about the night to come. Thoughts about my life and what to do with it and what is missing from it. Too many thoughts. Mostly my thoughts center around one thing... the man I love. I love him so much. I miss him all the time. I don't understand how I can love someone so much that isn't supposed to be mine. We are so perfect for each other. Everyone I know thinks that we belong together. Even people that I don't know will see us out together and comment on what a nice couple we make. I just wish we were a couple. I would do anything for him and he knows it. I think sometimes he takes advantage of that, but only because I let him. I could say no. At least I think I could. If I could get up the courage. I have tried to say no before. But, I haven't actually been able to get the words out. I love him. I don't think he believed me when I said it. I've actually never said it to his face. I have said it in an email and I've said it on the phone. But I've never said it to his face. I think I'm scared to. I think I'm scared of the rejection that I'm sure will follow. I know that since he doesn't reciprocate my feelings and won't actually commit that he isn't for me. However, I just can't let go. I just can't stop loving him. No matter how badly I want to.


No comments: