Monday, July 10, 2006

It's definitely Monday...

Maybe this post should be titled: "Why did I bother to get out of bed?". I'm tired. I can barely hold my eyes open and it isn't even noon yet. Thanks for the comments from my post yesterday. It is nice to know that someone understands. I found out my brother lost his job and he is very depressed. Apparently he spends most days asleep on the couch not wanting to do anything. I know exactly how he feels. I feel that way often, but I know if I don't get up I'll have no way to keep my house and feed the pets, etc. I am trying to figure out how best to broach this with him. SIL hasn't told him yet that I know what is going on. She says she will tell him tonight and let me know how he reacts. I'm so worried about him.

As I sit at my desk at work, waiting for something to need to be done, I can feel a migraine building behind my eyes. I think it is from the lack of sleep and all the nightmares and dreams and also the stress I'm letting myself develop worrying about my brother and Grandmother. I wish I could figure out how to let it go.

I did start knitting again last night. I started work on the light blue fun fur scarf that SIL's aunt asked me to knit for her back in February. I really enjoyed working on it last night. I'd forgotten how much fun it is to sit and knit. I'm also hoping it will help keep me from the fridge while I watch tv. I'm a boredom eater and I've apparently been very bored lately. I need to go to the health center and weigh this morning. I might do that in a few minutes. I haven't weighed in more than two weeks and I usually go once a week. I think I'm just afraid to see the number on the scale.

'T' is back to ignoring me again. Which, I suppose, is a good thing. I realized this weekend that I'm moving past him. For the last few years I've spent almost every waking moment wondering what he is doing and where he was and trying to get any scrap of attention from him I could. But I realized this weekend, that I hardly think about him at all when I'm not around him. I consider that to be very good progress! :-) Maybe someday I'll find a way to not be around him at all, but until then...I'll continue to remember that I don't need him.

I'm trying something new today with my hair. I had it highlighted on Friday (it took 3 hours) and am not sure how I feel about the results. I had mentioned to my stylist that I have never colored my hair blonde. I've always gone with red/auburn because my hair is dark brown. However, she decided to go with blondish highlights. I look in the mirror and feel like I should be a surfer or something. I can't decide if I like it or not. Oh...back to the something different, I am wearing it down today. I usually start off with it down and then put it up by mid morning. I'm getting a perm in two weeks and I want to get used to having it down so I'll be used to it when I get the perm. I am not paying all that money to get a perm (I have a LOT of LONG hair) just to put it up all the time. So, I'm trying to get used to having it down. We shall see how that goes...

Well, I suppose I should try to do some work. Maybe I'll go weigh first.

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