Sunday, July 09, 2006

Sunday...or Do I have to go back to work tomorrow?

I wish I didn't have to go back to work tomorrow. I really would like another day of staying at home and doing nothing. Today was a typical Sunday for me and my family. I went to mum's and had lunch with her, my uncle and Grandmother. Stopped off to see my brother and sil on my way home and then vegetated with a book once I arrived home. I've just finished some mac and cheese that I have been craving for about two weeks. I'm sure it will upset my stomach, but sometimes you just have to have a taste of something that you miss.

Anywho, I've been kind of down lately about a lot of things. Other than my usual sadness about my lack of family, is the status of my Grandmother. I lost my paternal Grandmother (whom I thought the world revolved around) when I was 13. She was my world. She was my moon and stars and sun in the heavens. She was the one person that I new loved me unconditionally. I was very insecure growing up and she always gave me the support and love I needed. (Okay, who am I trying to kid, I'm still insecure). Anyway, she died very suddenly and unexpectedly and it tore that side of the family to pieces.

My maternal Grandmother has always been the strongest person I know. She was a teacher and principal as a career. She always valued education and was always staying on me to study harder and be more like my mother. She liked to tell stories about how when my mum was a kid she would have to force her to quit studying and go to bed late at night. Anyway, my Grandmother loved reading and doing the crossword puzzles and playing cards. We lost my Grandfather when I was 17 and while it was very hard for her, she managed to hold us all together after he passed. She lived four hours from us and it was hard to go and see her.

Anyway, I'm making this too long. My Grandmother is declining in health. Four years ago she fell and broke her hip and she has been getting worse since then. She has never been able to hear very well and it is now almost impossible for her to hear. Her legs are giving out and she has macular degerneration. The only thing she can do is sit and watch tv. She can't see to read (even the large print) and she can't do the crosswords anymore. She used to sew and knit and crochet but she can't hold the needles anymore. Her mind has always been sharp as a tack and now it isn't. She is forgetting everything. She can't even remember our names much more. It is just killing me watching her fall apart like this. Why do we have to get old?



Manic Witch said...

I am so sorry to hear about your Grandmother. I really have no words of comfort except to let you know that I am thinking of you both. Grandparents are the specialists people in the whole wide world.

H.R.M. Queen of the Universe said...

It is hard to watch someone who was once strong to become weak. The only thing you can really do is remember the good times.