Tired...

I am so tired of having migraines. I have another one today and stayed in from work. I had hoped to sleep it off, but couldn't sleep at all. So I have pissed away the day sitting at home on the couch. I did go through some mail that had been piling up and I also cleaned off the coffee table. But that is it. There are so many things I need to do and I just have no energy to do any of them.
I wish I could figure out what causes the migraines. They make me so lethargic and well...useless. Maybe part of today's is not wanting to see 'T', which I'd do if I left the house. I had a big backslide on Friday. I was trying so hard to stay away from him. But, I gave in and agreed to have lunch and well... one thing led to another.
I'm feeling restless again, as if I'm not in the right place. I like my house and yard, my neighborhood and being close to work. However, I don't feel like I fit. Do you know what I mean? I don't feel like I'm at home. I feel like I'm just visiting my life, not enjoying it and living it. I don't spend nearly enough time on my crafts, much less on my Craft. And no matter what I do I can't get the house straight and have enough time in the yard. Nothing seems to be working like I want it to.
I want to get away from here. I want to escape. I want wide open spaces, not concrete and skyscrapers. I want ocean and mountains. I want to look at the sky at night and see the stars, not the light from a street light.
I haven't even been in this house a year. How sad...

Blessings,
~*~