oopss..

I was actually trying to put that pic as my photo in my profile. Guess I did something wrong. Oh well, I'll keep trying to figure it out. Anywho, that photo is where I got my name. In the poem that inspired Waterhouse to paint that picture Chaucer spelled the goddess' name as Aryadne not the way we see it most often as Ariadne.

Does anyone have any suggestions for books or websites that I can read to help me figure out how to better use Blogger and stuff?

Today has been better than yesterday. Things got worse as I got home but after tonight some of it should be better. (Finances and stuff) At least today is payday. Once I get everything paid I can focus on getting ready for my upcoming trip.

Better get back to work.

Blessings
~*~

Aryadne 

other people's babies...

Why is it that since last January, everyone I know has had some sort of new child experience in their life that they feel they MUST share with me. I'm happy for them, really, but I don't need to know every little detail of their experience. All of them know what I've been through in the past year and a half and yet, they all feel the need to share. Don't they realize this is killing me? Yes, I'm happy for them. I'm thrilled that they are able to have a child (or multiple children) and to have the happy family that they seem to want. I'm even happy for those that didn't really want children but came around to it when they found out they were pregnant. However, haven't I earned the right to NOT be bombarded with this stuff? Don't they realize that telling me every detail of the doctor's appointment or showing me video of the ultrasound is really kind of insensitive? Or am I being selfish?

Some days I wish they hadn't found the problem and it would have just grown until it killed me. Sometimes I'd rather be dead than have to go through the rest of my life with no family and no hopes of having one. I don't know how to make the pain go away, and it just intensifies with each picture and discussion of my friends children or stories in the news about the idiots of the world who smother their children or put them in plastic bags and toss them in a river.

I'm just being selfish. I have to stop being selfish.

Blessings
~*~

Copycat...

I feel like such a copycat. I've seen all these avatars on several blogs that I read all the time so I decided to make one. How original! :-) Long day today. It always is long when I have a migraine. I don't know why I can't get these things to go away. All I know is it better go away within the next two weeks. Because I'm going to on a trip and I don't want to have this pain in my head on my trip.

I'm really rambling tonight... below is a picture of my baby, previously known as "The Beast". :-)
Ain't he cute?!



When I get some better pics of my other babies I'll post those too.
My Tarheels won today. They played very well. And next weekend I'll be at their game. I'm so excited!

Anyway, I guess I still don't have that much to say. I'm gonna get something to drink and then do some surfing or some work...not sure which. :-)
Blessings

~*~

Gilmore...

Have I mentioned I LOVE Gilmore Girls? abc Family channel is great... they show Gilmore Girls at least twice a day. I so wish I had their wit. Paris is crazy scary. Anyway, Gilmore Girls rock! Just had to say that.

Blessings
~*~

Migraines suck...

I hate migraines. I hate them with a passion. I have been home for two days now with a horrible migraine. I really need to go back to work. I actually miss it. Ok I just realized I have nothing to say. Oh well, maybe I'll try this later.
Blessings
~*~

Hungry...

I'm so hungry...I don't have much in the fridge and no patiece to cook, so...I love being able to order pizza online. Yay! It should be here soon. I really can't afford it right now but I just didn't know what else to do.

Work was not much fun today. I did a bunch of boring updates on a bunch of pcs. Y'know...CSI is a really cool show. There is so much wierd stuff they show. Sometimes I just can't watch it because of the gore. Yuck yuck.
I saw Into the Blue this weekend. It wasn't too bad. Geez, I'm rambling. Guess I just don't have much to say today. Maybe I'll feel a bit more forthcoming after I've filled my tummy. :-)

Blessings
~*~

Superbowl bound...

YES!!!!! STEELERS ARE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL!!!!!! I'm sooooo happy about that! I watched the game wearing my steelers sweatshirt, under my steelers blanket and twirling my Terrible Towel! I love it! Now if my UNC Tarheels can start playing well and win against Florida State, I'd be extremely happy. :-) And Duke lost! Wooooo hooooooooooo!!!!!

On to other stuff. It finally feels like winter here. I'm sitting here freezing my a** off (and there is a lot to loose back there). :-) Wish it would really go away that way. Three weeks from today I'll be in Cancun. I'm getting nervous about the flight. Did I mention that I HATE to fly? Oh well.

I had an interesting day this past Friday. I blew my goal for the year. I didn't make resolutions cause I never am able to keep them an usually blow them in the first few days. However, I did make some "decisions" regarding things I want to change about myself or my life. One of them was to stay away from the previously mentioned "T". I use "T" because that stands for Trouble, which is exactly what he is. I had promised myself that I wouldn't spend any quality time with him. When I say quality time I mean any time getting physical. Well, I blew it on Friday. I gave in to my basest desire when I knew it would be wrong and very very bad for me. Damnit! I tried for so long to keep my feelings urges under control. But I'm not going to give up. I'm going to start again and remind myself how horrible I felt after it was over this last time. {Horrible emotionally, cause the physical part? ;-) Oh baby!}

Alright, battery is dying on the laptop and dinner is almost ready. Gotta go now. Maybe more later.

random thoughts

Well, I wasn't able to take my test on Monday. I feel so stupid because everyone else I know is able to drink that stuff that you have to have for cts' and such, but I can't. I know I needed to have the test to make sure nothing had come back, but I just couldn't get it down. I drank about half the bottle and it started reversing in direction. Ewww...TMI? Oh well, no one is probably reading this anyway. :-)

I created 5 wreaths last week and took 4 of them to EBN to sell on consignment. The one I didn't take just didn't feel like it was ready to leave yet. There is something missing from it and until I figure out what it is, I don't want to send it out there for someone else. I'm hoping they will sell well, because I could really use the money. Since I'll be out of town next full moon, I won't be able to make any. But I already have some ideas for the next batch. This batch was spirit of air, spirit of fire, spirit of water and spirit of the chakras. I thought the chakra one turned out the best. I really liked the rainbow ribbon that I found. Air was my second favorite.

The beast has been very fussy this evening. I'm not really sure why. He's been out several times tonight but keeps acting like he needs to go again. I guess I should let him out one more time before bed. Okay - so we went to the back door and he just stood there looking at me like I was insane. I don't know what is wrong with him. Maybe he's just fussy.

How bout them STEELERS? I'm SOOOO excited about them going to the afc championship game. I hope that they can go all the way. They'll still be my team if they don't. But they need to win!

Anyway, blessings to everyone...
~*~

They always come in three's...

Three is a magical number. Three represents the triple aspect of the goddess. (Mother... Maiden... Crone) Is that why death always comes in threes? We lost another member of our family this past week and it has been very hard to accept. Everytime the phone rings I expect to get bad news about someone else. I guess I'm waiting for the third. Two in a week is just too much.
On Friday, I was given a promotion at work. I'm very happy about it. I finished making my wreaths yesterday. I might see if I can get some pictures of them and put on here. I'm taking them to the shop on Tuesday. Hopefully they will do well. Tomorrow I have to have a procedue that requires me to clean out my colon. I'm sooooo not happy about that. Why can't they make that stuff not taste so vile? If they can put people in space then they should be able to flavour medicines in such a way that they don't make you hurl. I'm so looking forward to spending my evening in the loo. :-) Not! I've got to figure a way to move the tv so I can see it while I'm in there. The steelers play today against the colts. I sure hope they win.

I'm worried about one of my kitties. She is bleeding from somewhere but I can't find where. I tried to catch her so I could take her to the vet but she is very quick and good at hiding. There is just a little blood, and she doesn't seem to be sick. I'm going to try again in a little while.

Well, I guess I'll go have some lunch. Lime jello...yum. :-(

Blessings
~*~

Winter...where art thou?

What has happened to winter? We should have snow and freezing temps right now but yesterday it was in the 60's and today in the high 50's. I miss winter. I NEED snow! I need the cold weather, the brisk breeze and the frosty air. But with the way gas prices are right now I might be better off. Gas bill was WAY too much this month. I've still to figure out how to pay for it.
Well, the heels just won. Wooo hooo!! It was close but they pulled it out.

I finished the scarf I've been working on since right before Christmas. It is made with regular brown yarn (Red Heart probably, can't recall) and Modea Wild in a kind of fall colors. It is beautiful. It was supposed to be a holiday present for a friend at work, but I didn't get it done in time. I'm still going to give it to her. I hope she likes it. I have two more I've been asked to make and need to get them done as soon as I can. Both are carolina blue with reg yarn and fun fur. After those are done, I might try to branch out and learn something other than scarves. I would like to make a really soft, big, thick, long one. I found a modea dream yarn in kind of a sage green (which happens to be one of my most favored colors) and want to do something cool with it.
Well, I guess I'm off. Have another full day of class tomorrow and need to have a clear head. Since I've been working on a serious freaking migraine all afternoon, I should try to sleep this one off. I'd rather do that than have to take the hydrocodone. (the pills are the only meds I've found that knock out my migraines, and I've tried them all) I hate the way they make me feel, the pills that is although the migraines aren't great to enjoy. Plus, I wouldn't be able to drive at all so it would be best to take it at night but it isn't to that point yet. I certainly need to be careful because it would be very easy to become addicted to them. So, I only take when I can't stand the pain any longer.
Well, night to anyone who reads this. Blessings
~*~

Wagers and winnings

This past Saturday there was a big game between my favorites (UNC Tarheels) and the NC State Wolfpack. Big rivalry where I'm from. Anywho, being a big game there of course had to be a big bet between myself and T. Well, I won the bet and I've already been asked twice when I'd like to collect on our wager. I'm not sure that I want to collect. Usually when I win a wager I have to wait ages to collect no matter what the winnings are. This time they are rather personal and they seem eager to pay up. I, on the other hand, may just wait to collect. Or perhaps not collect at all. You see, if I do choose to collect this particular wager (the winnings of which I never really agreed to as defined by them) I would be violating my promise to myself for the new year in regards to T. Therefore, I'm hesitant to collect. I guess I'll have to give this more thought.

There was another big game this weekend. The Pittsburgh Steelers finally took it to the Cincinatti Bengals. I was so thrilled with their win. I am sorry for the bengals quarterback and hope the injury he sustained isn't too bad.

I've become really addicted to the blog thing. I have found several that I read every day and that I find very interesting. It is taking more time that I really should allow. But what the heck...it's fun and harmless. Therefore it must be good for me! :-)

Tonight is decoration removal night. I was going to take everything down this weekend, but with the funeral stuff there was just too much else to do and not enough energy to do it when I finally made it home. Hopefully tonight it will go well and I can put away all the holiday decorations. There really aren't that many and shouldn't take too long. The biggest thing will be getting the tree down and out of the house.

Anywho, must head off now as it is almost time to head home from work.
Blessings
~*~

Not enough time...

There just never seems to be enough time anymore. There are always so many demands on us that we never have time to do everything that needs to be done or even just enjoy the time we have. My sister-in-law's grandfather passed away yesterday. He'd been ill for some time and was placed in hospital two days before Christmas. The family had to make the decision to take him off the ventalator yesterday. My sister-in-law is taking it very hard. She was very close to him. I wish there was something I could do for her.

I'm off to bed. Long day...tomorrow will be even longer and then back to work on Monday.

Blessings
~*~

Sticking to it...

So far so good. I've been able to stick to most of the wishes I had for the new year. I'm drinking my tea to help my liver. I'm keeping my house picked up and the kitchen clean (I've been very bad about leaving dishes in the sink in the past). But most importantly, I'm sticking to my "resolution" to stay away from "Trouble" (who will from now on be refered to as T). T was very flirty yesterday and is pushing for more than I'm willing to give. I am going to stick to my decision to have no more than a "friend" relationship with him and not allow things to get physical. I have to stick to that. T is not good for me to be involved with and I have to remember that and focus accordingly. There is just too much in the way of the type of relationship I would want with him. So, I am exercising excellent restraint in that department. I'm also doing pretty good on the sweets front. Yay for me!

I had wanted to post yesterday but after arriving home from work I had to get my bills paid for the month and that didn't go well. By the time I was done I was exhausted and just didn't feel like bringing out the laptop and getting online. I think I watched football for a while and then watched Medium (which I think is an excellent show, btw) and then headed to bed. I was soooo tired.

Well, since I'm at work (and have already had my first temper tantrum of the new year) I should get back to work. Ugh...

Blessings
~*~